Will my wedding be cancelled???

OH MY GOD!!!! Sooooooo, it has always been FH's dream to be a cop and of course when he was 21 he got into the NYPD and then at the last minute when they told him to tuck in his shirt ad take out his earring he said FU and walked out. (what a butthead!)

Soooo, now he took the test again 2 years ago and guess what?? He received a letter yesterday saying that the process will begin to get him into the July 2012 class!

Ummmmm....on a base pay of $41,000 I KNOW we cannot pull off this wedding. I didn't say that of course but he freaked out. I told him that if he really wants to do it then to do it because I don't want any regrets later. I told him we could have a smaller wedding and he just looked at me like I was crazy but I really meant it. Then he says how its more than half his salary how will he pay bills! I told him we will struggle but for a few years we can do it ya know?

I told him to call the recruitment office and to be honest with them and ask questions. I told him to ask if he could take the test again and maybe he will be called in again in a year and a half or two years. I know its the NYPD and they probably dont care we are planning a wedding but the recruiters are cool I am sure and asking question never hurt anyone. Its a weird situation and if he's under 35 he can take the test again I think. I dunno...it's not freakin me out as much as it is him. I feel bad that because of a one day party (the wedding) he would give up his dream and thats so not cool to me. One day wedding and you give up the option to retire when your 45? Know what I mean? Pension, great insurance..I dunno this is what he always talks about and I feel like if he didn't have this wedding on his mind he would just do it.

Sorry just wanted you ladies thoughts on this situation because we don't want to tell family until anything is decided or not decided...thanks!

Awww I totally understand where u r coming from and as u said have him call up the recruitment office and see what they say i mean maybe they will hold it for him...u never know until u ask...but i hope everything works out for the both of u ..

Crashing...

First, I'd like to say congrats to your FH for being accepted into the July 2012 class!! Now, the idea of marriage is the unity of two people in love sharing a lifelong commitment with one another. I see just how supportive you are to ensure your FH has what he always wanted. That is the focal point in any relationship to be supportive. While, I think that I would first say what the recruitment office says and then plan from there. However, having a career with benefits, retirement and the dream job FH has always wanted would far exceed going into debt over a wedding. No one said you would need to cancel the wedding but maybe be a little creative in how you save, as you still have time. Perhaps, looking at some DIY approaches, inviting less people as you mentioned. You can certaintly do this.

I wouldn't cancel it but id make a wedding that was a WHOLE lot simpler. I know how he must feel. I mean we are comfortable now you know so I know 5 years of not being comfortable might seem like a lot to him so I guess I'll give him time to think.

He keeps saying 'why was I so stupid 10 years ago?' If we could only all go back right??

Congrats!!
I agree with the other girls, Lil. FH has to take the job. You never know what situation city will be in later on. I def think your wedding is still very doable! You may need to cut back on or simplify some things though. Although basepay isnt great, it will def get better! I understand how you are feeling. We are struggling a bit with wedding payments now but afterwards everything will work out jut fine!

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Posted by KristyANDMatt224

Congrats!!
I agree with the other girls, Lil. FH has to take the job. You never know what situation city will be in later on. I def think your wedding is still very doable! You may need to cut back on or simplify some things though. Although basepay isnt great, it will def get better! I understand how you are feeling. We are struggling a bit with wedding payments now but afterwards everything will work out jut fine!

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I have to agree with Kristy. If this is his dream job, he should go for it. You definitely don’t want him to pass up on it for the sake of the wedding. Plus, what happens if he passes on it or pushes it back and then the city doesn’t call him again? I’m sure both of you don’t want to live with the “What Ifs” later in life.

You will still have a gorgeous wedding and you being Ms. Coupon, I am sure you will get great deals on everything.

My FH currently hates his job and is currently job searching. He may have a new job doing something he loves, but it’s a lower paying contractor position. Not having a secure job scares the crap out of me, especially with the wedding coming up. But we will figure it out! I would rather FH leave his job for a lower paying job that he loves, than be miserable in a job for the next year.

Get all of the information, talk it out, figure out your budget and take it from there. You guys can do this!!

I am almost in the same boat. FH is in the process of getting a police position with another department. But I agree with the others girls, he has to take it. it will all pay off in the end. I do TONS of DIY projects. It keeps me busy when he is at work too! I know it is much easier said than done but it will all work out!

HTH!!

2012er crashing. My FH is in the NYPD. If it is something that he really wants I would not defer. The NYPD has cancelled a lot of classes in the past and I would not count on a new class being put in.

You can alwys do a bigger 5 year anniversary party or something like that if having the big party is something that is important to you!

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Posted by FutureMrsSweeney

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Posted by KristyANDMatt224

Congrats!!
I agree with the other girls, Lil. FH has to take the job. You never know what situation city will be in later on. I def think your wedding is still very doable! You may need to cut back on or simplify some things though. Although basepay isnt great, it will def get better! I understand how you are feeling. We are struggling a bit with wedding payments now but afterwards everything will work out jut fine!

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I have to agree with Kristy. If this is his dream job, he should go for it. You definitely don’t want him to pass up on it for the sake of the wedding. Plus, what happens if he passes on it or pushes it back and then the city doesn’t call him again? I’m sure both of you don’t want to live with the “What Ifs” later in life.

You will still have a gorgeous wedding and you being Ms. Coupon, I am sure you will get great deals on everything.

My FH currently hates his job and is currently job searching. He may have a new job doing something he loves, but it’s a lower paying contractor position. Not having a secure job scares the crap out of me, especially with the wedding coming up. But we will figure it out! I would rather FH leave his job for a lower paying job that he loves, than be miserable in a job for the next year.

Get all of the information, talk it out, figure out your budget and take it from there. You guys can do this!!

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I totally agree with everything Kristy and Erika have said. It will all work out. Just figure out your options and see what will be best for tbe both of you. Good luck!

If this has been a life long dream of his, please have him pursue it. I agree with so many others - many many classes have been cancelled.

I'm in a similar position where my FH is currently going through screening for Suffolk County corrections. The salary only starts around $35-40K (much better than he has now, maybe why I'm not stressed) but we are working with it.

I know this is going to sound insensitive - The wedding is one day, the career is for a lifetime. Find ways to cut corners and DIY to save money.

I myself am working on a small and tight budget. I ask myself whether I really cared if there was a 'photo booth' 'candy truck' etc before I got wrapped up in what the multi-million wedding industry got to me. Basically , if its not essential or something i dreamed up when younger - it might not be necessary, but just pressure to 'be the best'.

It is not insensitive...the problem is not the extras...those are easy to cancel. Our reception hall was NOT cheap...I thinkt hats what we may have to cut. LOL Thats whats hard about the whole thing. SMH...I should have eloped like I wanted too!! Damn FH and his big wedding gala!! LMAO!

I have to laugh because I really didnt want a big wedding ever and now look...I plan one and its all coming to haunt me! I think to be honest, the wedding is the least on my mind. The rest of the bills are kinda getting to me too. He just got 2 new cars, one for me and one for him and its like man...if he knew the call was coming a few months back you know? Too much to think about...I was so happy in La La land for a while!

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Posted by LilinBobby

OH MY GOD!!!! Sooooooo, it has always been FH's dream to be a cop and of course when he was 21 he got into the NYPD and then at the last minute when they told him to tuck in his shirt ad take out his earring he said FU and walked out. (what a butthead!)

Soooo, now he took the test again 2 years ago and guess what?? He received a letter yesterday saying that the process will begin to get him into the July 2012 class!

Ummmmm....on a base pay of $41,000 I KNOW we cannot pull off this wedding. I didn't say that of course but he freaked out. I told him that if he really wants to do it then to do it because I don't want any regrets later. I told him we could have a smaller wedding and he just looked at me like I was crazy but I really meant it. Then he says how its more than half his salary how will he pay bills! I told him we will struggle but for a few years we can do it ya know?

I told him to call the recruitment office and to be honest with them and ask questions. I told him to ask if he could take the test again and maybe he will be called in again in a year and a half or two years. I know its the NYPD and they probably dont care we are planning a wedding but the recruiters are cool I am sure and asking question never hurt anyone. Its a weird situation and if he's under 35 he can take the test again I think. I dunno...it's not freakin me out as much as it is him. I feel bad that because of a one day party (the wedding) he would give up his dream and thats so not cool to me. One day wedding and you give up the option to retire when your 45? Know what I mean? Pension, great insurance..I dunno this is what he always talks about and I feel like if he didn't have this wedding on his mind he would just do it.

Sorry just wanted you ladies thoughts on this situation because we don't want to tell family until anything is decided or not decided...thanks!

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Completely understand! When we got engaged, I didn't have a job and had just started my part time. Which I later got bullied out of. Then we both freaked. He wanted to play the stocks, and then I freaked more because it was just a really unsure time period.

I still don't have one now, but we sat down and put together a pricing plan. Asked the hall if we could do a smaller size party and then I started asking for favors from friends. Design, fashion, and horticulture students are some of the people I'm employing to help with cutting the costs. Possibly our best man will be getting himself certified/licensed to be our officiant and doing it as a gift.

It is nuts I agree about the hecticness -but when I did have a job, I had an employee who held off his wedding for an extra year (2 years engagement) so that he could pay for his wedding. He had 200+ people, made flipping burgers type of salary, and had a beautiful wedding with all the trimmings at Flowerfield. Definitely dooable

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Posted by LilinBobby

It is not insensitive...the problem is not the extras...those are easy to cancel. Our reception hall was NOT cheap...I thinkt hats what we may have to cut. LOL Thats whats hard about the whole thing. SMH...I should have eloped like I wanted too!! Damn FH and his big wedding gala!! LMAO!

I have to laugh because I really didnt want a big wedding ever and now look...I plan one and its all coming to haunt me! I think to be honest, the wedding is the least on my mind. The rest of the bills are kinda getting to me too. He just got 2 new cars, one for me and one for him and its like man...if he knew the call was coming a few months back you know? Too much to think about...I was so happy in La La land for a while!

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Yeah... that's too big for a DIY and is signed on contract - can be difficult. Contract wise, as we're so far in advance, at least my RH would let me out of my contract minus a hundred or two. Nothing if they can rebook it (likely).

However, that's not accounting for the emotions of falling in love with your RH....

I'm sorry. I've actually wary of needing a new car soon (mine is 11 years old and still looks respectable - knock on wood) but I'm hoping it will hold till after the wedding.

Is there by any chance a venue you liked/was similar but less expensive? It's hard to strike a deal with your RH after you sign the dotted line.

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Posted by jassy119

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Posted by FutureMrsSweeney

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Posted by KristyANDMatt224

Congrats!!
I agree with the other girls, Lil. FH has to take the job. You never know what situation city will be in later on. I def think your wedding is still very doable! You may need to cut back on or simplify some things though. Although basepay isnt great, it will def get better! I understand how you are feeling. We are struggling a bit with wedding payments now but afterwards everything will work out jut fine!

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I have to agree with Kristy. If this is his dream job, he should go for it. You definitely don’t want him to pass up on it for the sake of the wedding. Plus, what happens if he passes on it or pushes it back and then the city doesn’t call him again? I’m sure both of you don’t want to live with the “What Ifs” later in life.

You will still have a gorgeous wedding and you being Ms. Coupon, I am sure you will get great deals on everything.

My FH currently hates his job and is currently job searching. He may have a new job doing something he loves, but it’s a lower paying contractor position. Not having a secure job scares the crap out of me, especially with the wedding coming up. But we will figure it out! I would rather FH leave his job for a lower paying job that he loves, than be miserable in a job for the next year.

Get all of the information, talk it out, figure out your budget and take it from there. You guys can do this!!

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I totally agree with everything Kristy and Erika have said. It will all work out. Just figure out your options and see what will be best for tbe both of you. Good luck!

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I agree with the ladies! I'm on vacation so I can't write much now but the ladies are 100% right.
You have to think about it and see if even postponing it is worth it. Good Luck Hun!

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Posted by KroertGS

Tell him to take the job. If this is what he really wants to do, he needs to jump on it. The city and state are not in the best shape, and the offer may not come around again. Don't worry about the base salary. Find ways to cut corners. You guys will work it out.

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This times ten. Deferring his application is probably not the best idea. My FH is a court officer and I've seen first hand people go thorough cuts and classes get put off and so on. Def have him take it when it's offered and you guys will figure out a way to work it all out. Hope it all works out xoxo