OH MY GOD!!!! Sooooooo, it has always been FH's dream to be a cop and of course when he was 21 he got into the NYPD and then at the last minute when they told him to tuck in his shirt ad take out his earring he said FU and walked out. (what a butthead!)
Soooo, now he took the test again 2 years ago and guess what?? He received a letter yesterday saying that the process will begin to get him into the July 2012 class!
Ummmmm....on a base pay of $41,000 I KNOW we cannot pull off this wedding. I didn't say that of course but he freaked out. I told him that if he really wants to do it then to do it because I don't want any regrets later. I told him we could have a smaller wedding and he just looked at me like I was crazy but I really meant it. Then he says how its more than half his salary how will he pay bills! I told him we will struggle but for a few years we can do it ya know?
I told him to call the recruitment office and to be honest with them and ask questions. I told him to ask if he could take the test again and maybe he will be called in again in a year and a half or two years. I know its the NYPD and they probably dont care we are planning a wedding but the recruiters are cool I am sure and asking question never hurt anyone. Its a weird situation and if he's under 35 he can take the test again I think. I dunno...it's not freakin me out as much as it is him. I feel bad that because of a one day party (the wedding) he would give up his dream and thats so not cool to me. One day wedding and you give up the option to retire when your 45? Know what I mean? Pension, great insurance..I dunno this is what he always talks about and I feel like if he didn't have this wedding on his mind he would just do it.
Sorry just wanted you ladies thoughts on this situation because we don't want to tell family until anything is decided or not decided...thanks!
JulesMarie27
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Re: Will my wedding be cancelled???
We have a lot of NYPD friends and once he's out of the academy he will be available for overtime which is huge! Lots of $$$ in your pocket
AngieJusty
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Re: Will my wedding be cancelled???
Posted by jassy119
Posted by FutureMrsSweeney
Posted by KristyANDMatt224
Congrats!! I agree with the other girls, Lil. FH has to take the job. You never know what situation city will be in later on. I def think your wedding is still very doable! You may need to cut back on or simplify some things though. Although basepay isnt great, it will def get better! I understand how you are feeling. We are struggling a bit with wedding payments now but afterwards everything will work out jut fine!
I have to agree with Kristy. If this is his dream job, he should go for it. You definitely don’t want him to pass up on it for the sake of the wedding. Plus, what happens if he passes on it or pushes it back and then the city doesn’t call him again? I’m sure both of you don’t want to live with the “What Ifs” later in life.
You will still have a gorgeous wedding and you being Ms. Coupon, I am sure you will get great deals on everything.
My FH currently hates his job and is currently job searching. He may have a new job doing something he loves, but it’s a lower paying contractor position. Not having a secure job scares the crap out of me, especially with the wedding coming up. But we will figure it out! I would rather FH leave his job for a lower paying job that he loves, than be miserable in a job for the next year.
Get all of the information, talk it out, figure out your budget and take it from there. You guys can do this!!
I totally agree with everything Kristy and Erika have said. It will all work out. Just figure out your options and see what will be best for tbe both of you. Good luck!
If FH is called, I think he should go for it. Like you said, the benefits are awesome and he would be at top pay in five years. Things will work out; they always find a way.
BobbyDsgirl
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Re: Will my wedding be cancelled???
Good luck with any decision you make. I understand what you are going through and they only thing I can say is let him completely make the decision, it has to come from him whatever it may be because you never want him to feel as though you put him in that direction and he regrets it later if there isnt a class. My FH's dream job is working in a hockey rink and he has had a couple ppl offer him jobs that they keep saying will happen later on so now he is doing odd jobs to make cash and it isnt easy but we are getting by. Things always work out monetary with time.
bigislandbride82
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Re: Will my wedding be cancelled???
I hope everything works out for you. Sometimes you have to look at the future benefits. I think it's great that you are being so supportive of your FH's dreams Good Luck!
LilinBobby
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Re: Will my wedding be cancelled???
Well to be honest with you there is not ONE benefit for me or our family except for FH's happiness. He just thinks about the retirement...in 22 years! I was supposed to start a day care right after the wedding so I could stay home, start the day care and have kids. So its like my whole dream life is turning upside down. I told him tonight that this is reality and if he thinks he is going to make more than he does now he is out of his mind but if he is doing it because he really wants to be a cop then I understand. He makes almost 100k now with awesome benefits...want to know what he said? He's bored...you're bored? My job isn't the funnest job either. Because he sits at a computer all day. Um, you went to college for computers!! I know...be supportive. I was when I thought it was like his dream come true but he is bored? To make our family struggle for 5 years, not have kids because honestly we wont afford them on an academy or 1st year salary, cut our whole 3 year idea we've had for the day care and no longer buy a house? because he's bored? This infuriated me tonight!!
I told him to think long and hard about what he wants to do and to think about the life we have now compared to what it's going to be. I am bored too so guess what? i want to be a princess!! The benefits in the end are great! really?? Sorry for the vent but WOW! Because I'm bored!! That's crazy!
stormstryker
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Re: Will my wedding be cancelled???
that totally changes everything!!!!!! If it was his dream, then thats one thing.... but in the same token, being bored does make a person unhappy. I know that when I long for a change, ANYTHING is better than where I am at. I currently cant wait to leave Long Island and the waiting is killing me. I can understand where he is coming from, but its a problem of weighing the pros and cons.
bigislandbride82
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Re: Will my wedding be cancelled???
Yes, that kinda does change things. If he wanted to become a cop and still make the same kind of money he should have taken the SCPD test. Sorry you're going through this!
Shanti12
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Re: Will my wedding be cancelled???
Posted by LilinBobby
Well to be honest with you there is not ONE benefit for me or our family except for FH's happiness. He just thinks about the retirement...in 22 years! I was supposed to start a day care right after the wedding so I could stay home, start the day care and have kids. So its like my whole dream life is turning upside down. I told him tonight that this is reality and if he thinks he is going to make more than he does now he is out of his mind but if he is doing it because he really wants to be a cop then I understand. He makes almost 100k now with awesome benefits...want to know what he said? He's bored...you're bored? My job isn't the funnest job either. Because he sits at a computer all day. Um, you went to college for computers!! I know...be supportive. I was when I thought it was like his dream come true but he is bored? To make our family struggle for 5 years, not have kids because honestly we wont afford them on an academy or 1st year salary, cut our whole 3 year idea we've had for the day care and no longer buy a house? because he's bored? This infuriated me tonight!!
I told him to think long and hard about what he wants to do and to think about the life we have now compared to what it's going to be. I am bored too so guess what? i want to be a princess!! The benefits in the end are great! really?? Sorry for the vent but WOW! Because I'm bored!! That's crazy!
Awww... yeah that is different. If he's not 100% into it, I know the test is really hard and he may not even pass. Maybe he needs something else to get into outside of work that he is passionate about. We all go through boredom phases and he might regret anything too drastic.
teacherteacher
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Re: Will my wedding be cancelled???
You could also remind him that getting this daycare up and running, PLUS being a daddy, will solve some of that boredom! Being unhappy with where he is right now could just be due to him only seeing himself as a guy who sits in front of a computer, comes home, then does the same thing the next day. But, helping you run a business and take care of his kids with you could change that right around. I hope things work out for you!
fdnybride163
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Re: Will my wedding be cancelled???
Posted by JulesMarie27
We have a lot of NYPD friends and once he's out of the academy he will be available for overtime which is huge! Lots of $$$ in your pocket
CIty over time is my BEST friend!!
its like,. honey we need to pay the limo compnay, go work a 24 of overtime...
TAKE the position. there are soooo many people who want this job, and if he revokes it now (a second time) they may tell him to eff off a third time and take someone who really wants it. Dont let your wedding stand in the way of a career.
