Wish me luck...UPDATED

Well, I just got back from 'the dinner'...she's going to be a BM.

Since she drove, I decided I better booze it up, so after I was feeling loose enough, I just asked her what her feelings were about the wedding. She got kind of clammy, asking if I meant the wedding or the marriage, and I said both. I told her that it seems when I bring things up, she doesnt seem excited or happy about it. She said that its hard for her to get excited about a day that's 'so far away', and that she's happy and excited that I'm getting married, but that she's not involved or planning it herself it's hard for her to understand. She also went on to say that she doesn't get excited for weddings because it's one day, but rather what the wedding stands for, the marriage and commiting yourself. Which is fair enough, I can give her that.

So I pressed her a little more, saying but are you happy for me? She then repeated like 10 times that she just doesn't like weddings, she's not into them, she doesnt like the pomp and circumstance and 'hooplah', and that she has a small family and doesn't really get involved with many weddings. So I said, well, I would have liked for you to be my bridesmaid...and then she cuts me off before I even get to finish the sentence to say yes!!!

Like, is that an unexpected response or what???

So I said that given the fact that she hates weddings so much, that if it's not something that she feels comfortable with that I wouldn't want to put her in that situation. She said that she would do it for me, so I was like gee thanks, but she said that it was a compliment because if anyone else had asked her to be a BM she would tell them no, but she would do it for me, and that she does feel happy for me, but she thinks she'll be more excited as it gets closer. She's just too pragmatic, and dare I say, waspy to really get excited about things, so I can accept this, so long as she genuinely is happy for me and gives her blessing.

Then when I told her that my second point of not wanting her to do it if she's going to be uncomfortable is that one of my other BMs is in the party, and they had the falling out in college. She said that she would be perfectly civil to her, and that as far as they're concerned they're strangers, so she won't have a problem. That's comforting....

So all in all I think it went better than expected and that she didn't get too offended. I can understand her point that it's more about the marriage than the wedding, and after all is said and done, maybe we could all use that grounding once in a while.

Im glad that it went better than you planned!! Congrats on your new BM!!

the first thing i thought of when reading that was that maybe she has been wondering this whole time 'why hasnt she asked me to be in her wedding?'

hopefully this will be a new start!

I'm glad that it went well...maybe as the wedding gets closer and since she is involved and not just a guest she will see how important it is to you and really enjoy the experience.
I'm so happy for you that she wants to be a part of your day and that she took it as an honor...thats great

I'm glad it went well...

good, im glad it worked out.

---

Posted by LeeAnne

the first thing i thought of when reading that was that maybe she has been wondering this whole time 'why hasnt she asked me to be in her wedding?'

hopefully this will be a new start!

---

I was just thinking the same exact thing/