Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

Original post by DonnaPWhite1124

Mar 13, 2009 04:29 PM

Finally after a few months with all the drama going on with me and the church, I decided to go back to my old parish in Woodhaven.

The priest called me last night and FH and I have to meet him after Sunday morning mass (FH is gonna be but what ya gonna do)

Anyway, I dont know what to tell him about the living situation. We both live together, and I dont know if thats still a big deal because we're not celibate or whatev.

What did some of you guys say to the priest? Did he ask at all? Or should I tell him we co-habitate but we just dont do it (which to me seems wrong to lie yeah and like the priest is gonna believe me anyway)

Niccel Posted: Mar 13, 2009 05:20 PM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

Give them 2 addresses. I was concerned about it too, and when gave them 2 addresses, they didnt ask any more questions about it.

LeeAnne Posted: Mar 13, 2009 05:26 PM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

FH and I live together.

I did put our correct addresses on the forms but the priest never asked.

I didnt lie because I feel like God is watching us and I didnt want to start our marriage in a lie

azailia Posted: Mar 13, 2009 05:35 PM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

you are not the first to be living together before getting married....just tell the truth.. you wont shock them

HappyBride22 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 05:39 PM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

Posted by rbjugdarro

Im getting married in a catholic church and contrary to what most people think..the church has changed dramatically. Although we dont live together yet, my priest could care less. As long as you follow their procedures such as attend pre-cana (if it applies to you) or other classes and get the proper documents to them in time, my church could care less. Not sure if all catholic churches all the same though...

Same here..

VickiR510 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 05:40 PM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

Depends on the church & how progressive they are. My church didnt ask but they knew at Pre-cana & didnt care at all.

MrsGRod09 Posted: Mar 13, 2009 08:28 PM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

My priest kind of figured it out and didn't really care..thank goodness

KerriJohnS Posted: Mar 13, 2009 09:48 PM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

Are you talking about RA?

Hmm.. well it was different for me. FH father is a deacon and he is marrying us. Even though we aren't getting married in his parish he is still marrying us and doing our paperwork. He obviously knows we live together. But we put FH parents address on the paperwork.

I have heard about some girls having some problems with that. I think it all depends on the church and how 'old fashioned' they are.

I don't know if they always ask straight out... but they do ask for your address for the paperwork... so what if it were a white lie.. where you just gave FH address as his parents but never ACTUALLY said he doesn't live with you?

I hate telling anyone to lie... and I don't know if giving a loop hole is any better... but if you really feel uncomfortable....

Do you know anyone who was married at that church so you can ask them how modern they are?

chicky724 Posted: Mar 14, 2009 09:28 AM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

I'm having the same issue and don't know what to do about precana! When we first met with the church we put down different addresses bc we didn't live together yet... but now we do. I'm afraid if I go to precana and now say that we live together they'll think I was lying the first time.

pandafish519 Posted: Mar 14, 2009 09:30 AM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

it sounds funny but it depends on the priest. old school priests tend to be a little harder on couples who live together. when my sister got married they gave her a hard time about living together, but once they got to know them it was totally fine.

FinallyMrsB18 Posted: Mar 14, 2009 10:28 AM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

We were married in the Catholic Church, and the priest didn't ask us if we lived together. We each used our parents address for the forms that we filled out. I didn't feel this was a lie b/c techincally that is still my permanent address. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I don't think it is that big a deal. When we went to pre-cana everyone in our group except one couple already lived together. The couple leading our group was not surprised. Their own daughter did the same thing before she was married. Good Luck!!

ChrissyV729 Posted: Mar 14, 2009 11:19 AM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

Posted by DonnaPWhite1124

Posted by KYBride09

Hi there! I'm in Woodhaven too. What parish are you talking about?? FH and I live together and we had no problems with our priest. He's really nice!

HI! I am NOW getting married in St. Thomas the Apostle. How bout you?

I was originally supposed to have the ceremony at SMGH...but that changed.

ETA: you never know, churches might lurk here too.

That's my old parish to! I went to school there. Also, I am getting married in a catholic church. I have a child and I also live with my FH. My priest is very strict and worked in the diocese for 10 years. I have been totally honest with him, no problems, no judgements. He has been great. Just be honest, you won't have a problem.

DonnaPWhite1124 Posted: Mar 14, 2009 11:22 AM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

Posted by ChrissyV729

Posted by DonnaPWhite1124

Posted by KYBride09

Hi there! I'm in Woodhaven too. What parish are you talking about?? FH and I live together and we had no problems with our priest. He's really nice!

HI! I am NOW getting married in St. Thomas the Apostle. How bout you?

I was originally supposed to have the ceremony at SMGH...but that changed.

ETA: you never know, churches might lurk here too.

That's my old parish to! I went to school there. Also, I am getting married in a catholic church. I have a child and I also live with my FH. My priest is very strict and worked in the diocese for 10 years. I have been totally honest with him, no problems, no judgements. He has been great. Just be honest, you won't have a problem.

Ahh all these Woodhaven girls came out of nowhere. How exciting!

littlepixie12 Posted: Mar 14, 2009 11:53 AM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

I think it depends... My sis was getting married at our church and the priest did ask and they did make a big deal (about sex and all that) and they also asked them at pre-cana too!

toninrob Posted: Mar 14, 2009 11:56 AM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

I am also in Woodhaven and getting married at SMGH. My FH and I live together and told the deacon that we lived together. It was not an issue. I certainly wasn't going to start off by lying to the priest

DonnaPWhite1124 Posted: Mar 14, 2009 11:56 AM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

You know what, It is what it is. If I lie and say he lives at his parents house, it'll sit on my conscience.

I'm just gonna man up and tell the truth that we live together.

AlisonMZ14 Posted: Mar 14, 2009 01:00 PM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

Even though not all parishes give u a hard time i would try to avoid telling the truth bc you never know and then your out of a church!

DWKSwed Posted: Mar 14, 2009 01:49 PM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

My priest asked when he saw that we put the same address, we definitely got a long lecture about how living together before marriage can lead to divorce (the logic REALLY didn't make sense to me) and urged us to 'pray on it' and try to live separately until the wedding but I'm pretty sure he knew we weren't going to change up the situation. It can be uncomfortable for a minute but it's not the end of the world.

twoifbysea Posted: Mar 14, 2009 02:00 PM

Re: Women Getting Married in Catholic Church AND who live with their FH-I need your help please

Posted by HappyBride22

Posted by rbjugdarro

Im getting married in a catholic church and contrary to what most people think..the church has changed dramatically. Although we dont live together yet, my priest could care less. As long as you follow their procedures such as attend pre-cana (if it applies to you) or other classes and get the proper documents to them in time, my church could care less. Not sure if all catholic churches all the same though...

Same here..

This was about the same deal with our church.