would it be rude....

falguni61 Posted: Aug 31, 2005 08:06 PM

would it be rude....

so ladies...my finance is from london. I'm moving there forever right after the wedding. Would it be rude to put on the invitations...monetary gifts only or no boxed gifts please??? Or should i fine a store that is here and in london and do the registry from there? If thats the case...then i can't find any store that london and NY share that i can put as a wedding registry!!!!

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Aug 31, 2005 08:15 PM

Re: would it be rude....

Thats a tough call, but I think generally it would be considered a faux pas to ask for money... perhaps you could include your new address for guests to ship their gifts to?

AmyMarie Posted: Aug 31, 2005 08:17 PM

Re: would it be rude....

Absolutely not.

Moving to another country is such an exception to the rules. To be honest, any person in their right mind would understand your inability to register for gifts as well as the added expense to ship all those gifts are two very reasonable exuses to ask for money (in a tactful way, of course)

Good luck.

falguni61 Posted: Aug 31, 2005 08:20 PM

Re: would it be rude....

what if i put 'monetary gifts only due to relocation'???

AmyMarie Posted: Aug 31, 2005 08:34 PM

Re: would it be rude....

maybe something like 'monetary gifts appreciated since we are moving overseas'

sarahthegreat Posted: Aug 31, 2005 08:37 PM

Re: would it be rude....

i think to ask for monetary gifts only is rude. i understand the situation - but, if i got this invitation in the mail i'd think to myself, 'my god, who does she think she is.' and i'm sure not everyone you are inviting is aware of you moving to london. and frankly, they wouldn't care. they are not financing your life in london. i know this sounds way rude to you, but its an honest opinion

AmyMarie Posted: Aug 31, 2005 08:43 PM

Re: would it be rude....

They are not asking to be financed....the fact of the matter is:
1. do you have any idea of the cost to ship boxes overseas.

2. any electrical gifts (blenders, small appliances, vacuums, etc) are not going to work there...the outlets are completely different.

3. shipping crystal and china down the block is hard enough without breakage...try over an ocean.

4. the styles that are big in london are not necessarily the styles that are big in US.

I just don't think that this situation calls for people to over react and get miffed. As long as they clearly state they are moving 'overseas' and not to another state..it should not offend.

sarahthegreat Posted: Aug 31, 2005 08:56 PM

Re: would it be rude....

Posted by AmyMarie

They are not asking to be financed....the fact of the matter is:
1. do you have any idea of the cost to ship boxes overseas.

2. any electrical gifts (blenders, small appliances, vacuums, etc) are not going to work there...the outlets are completely different.

3. shipping crystal and china down the block is hard enough without breakage...try over an ocean.

4. the styles that are big in london are not necessarily the styles that are big in US.

I just don't think that this situation calls for people to over react and get miffed. As long as they clearly state they are moving 'overseas' and not to another state..it should not offend.

i would have a hard time asking for only monetary gifts...and i understand her situation, but if she wants to do it word of mouth, rather then on the invite, that would be a little more socially acceptable.

steflily Posted: Aug 31, 2005 08:57 PM

Re: would it be rude....

I don't think rude is the correct word, but it might be inappropriate. You might want to make sure that your shower invites have something to that affect though. Since it is not coming from you, as the wedding invites will, it might be more accepted. Ask them to do a 'moving to London' theme. Hopefully people will get the idea.

AmyMarie Posted: Aug 31, 2005 09:12 PM

Re: would it be rude....

I think having a 'moving to london' theme is a great idea...and then just stress to your family to spread the word that money and gift cheques (like Amex or something) would be a perfect idea for the above mentioned reasons.

Believe me ...if you haven't noticed..I feel strongly that getting gifts when this situation is happening is just a massive headache.
In the end it makes all the hard work and money that people spend on getting you a gift almost in vain (not that the thought doesn't count) but really being overseas ..really renders typical shower gifts useless.

Good luck...

SummerBride06 Posted: Aug 31, 2005 09:28 PM

Re: would it be rude....

how about this...when people RSVP for your shower, have your mom/MOH politely mention that money for the shower and wedding would be the most appropriate gift and then they can say why. that way it's not coming from you directly and they can hear an explanation.

if not, have your mom/MOH/BMs call everyone they know and somehow during the conversation they can slip it in nonchalantly

lcherian Posted: Aug 31, 2005 09:38 PM

Re: would it be rude....

okay i'm guessing you are indian from your LIW name...but please excuse me if i'm totally wrong!!!! i know its not proper ettiquette to request no boxed gifts on your invites, but indians dont follow proper ettiquette (at least down south), so i think its okay to put 'due to relocation out of the country, we kindly request no boxed gifts'

sarahbelle Posted: Aug 31, 2005 09:40 PM

Re: would it be rude....

I think your families should spread the word for you. If you have a website, you can put a note there. JMO but you should not mention gifts of any kind on the invitation.

DUCKS2001 Posted: Aug 31, 2005 09:41 PM

Re: would it be rude....

WOW THATS HARD.... UNLESS THAT STORE IN LONDON HAS A WEBSITE.... AND THEN YOU CAN DO 1/2 THERE 1/2 HERE..... THATS A TOUGH CALL...

CaMacho Posted: Aug 31, 2005 09:45 PM

Re: would it be rude....

Posted by lcherian

so i think its okay to put 'due to relocation out of the country, we kindly request no boxed gifts'

If you do write anything, this is very good wording!!

ssdbk Posted: Aug 31, 2005 11:24 PM

Re: would it be rude....

It would be rude to write anything about what type of gifts you expect. You can conspicuously note that you will be moving overseas and hope that people realize that their gifts may not come with you.

wendyz06 Posted: Sep 01, 2005 12:23 AM

Re: would it be rude....

Posted by ssdbk

It would be rude to write anything about what type of gifts you expect. You can conspicuously note that you will be moving overseas and hope that people realize that their gifts may not come with you.

I just don't think that logic will come into everyone's mind. I think spreading the word will be good - I mean I know it would work among my invitees.

Good Luck!

Soon2BeMrs2006 Posted: Sep 01, 2005 07:37 AM

Re: would it be rude....

its a tough call, but i dont think you should word it like that on the invitation. maybe you can hint at it saying due to the move there will be no registry because of fragile items. then maybe have your family spread the word.

SIBride06 Posted: Sep 01, 2005 08:25 AM

Re: would it be rude....

Posted by AmyMarie

maybe something like 'monetary gifts appreciated since we are moving overseas'

I think that would be appropriate.. Most people will understand. I never give boxed gifts as wedding presents anyway.., however, thats just me. Word of mouth is USUALLY the most reliable, especially if you dont register.. chances are people will just give you cash anyway.

HTH