So, one of my bm and I are getting married 2 months apart, mine is in Aug. and she is Oct. My reception is at the Hamlet Wind Watch, and one of the reasons we booked the place was because there is a hotel right next door in walking distance. We are going to have an after party and brunch the next day. I assumed all my bm would stay there, all but her are psyched! She said that since she is having a wedding 2 months later she needs to save all the money she can so she is going to have her parents pick her up. I understand, however, her wedding is in NJ and my FH and I will be spending 2 nights in a hotel for her wedding. I am being too uptight?? It is just that whenever my friends have gotten married I want to be with them the whole time, especially if I am in the wedding party. My best friend got married last year and we rented a house for 4 days!! I don't know. I am not going to say anything to her b/c I think she might be about 10x's the bridezilla I am...oh well....
eden
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Re: Would this bother you?
If this about the money maybe you can put her in a room wtih the other girls so they can split the cost?
i'm actually paying for the room for my girls. We are sharing the bridal suite and it will sleep 4 of us.
I never even thought about making my girls paying for anything 'cus i would never hear the end of it so I'm paying for their dresses, bridal party gifts, hair/makeup and pedicure/manicure the day before....
kara10152006
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Re: Would this bother you?
Personally, I would be a tiny bit irritated that she's not going with the flow but I don't think it would bother me too much. Although you are going to be staying over for her wedding perhaps your financial situations are a little different and staying over for yours would be more of an imposition for her than it would be for you. Don't sweat it too much, she probably feels bad that everyone else is staying over and she isn't... If it keeps bothering you maybe you can ask others in the bp if they would be willing to double up in the rooms with her and her fh that way she could save some money but still be a part of the after party....
Tria1110
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Re: Would this bother you?
She's got to do what she needs to do... she'll be missed but you'll still have a good time. Besides, you can't make her stay.
It is also a long time away - she might end up changing her mind.
Bridex100
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Re: Would this bother you?
I think some people have tighter budgets. I wouldn't be too offended. It's not like she isn't going to be there for you. She just would prefer to not pay for hotel if she doesn't have to.
If I were you, I'd offer to pay for her hotel.
daniebc16
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Re: Would this bother you?
Posted by Tria1110
She's got to do what she needs to do... she'll be missed but you'll still have a good time. Besides, you can't make her stay.
It is also a long time away - she might end up changing her mind.
Yeah, that is what I figure...I am not going to sweat it, I really just needed to vent a little. I would double her in a room but she is going to be with her fiance.
I also repsect anyone that is paying for all their BM's that is so great. I can't afford to pay for everyone, besides, that is not a tradition that my friends and I have had, you know what I mean. Every wedding I have been in I have paid for myself, we all figure it will even out eventually!!!
Edit: I will offer to pay for her hotel room, but she is very stubborn and probably won't let me...I will wait and see what happens...I will just really miss her if she isn't there, she has been one of my best friends since high school!!!
luvabul
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Re: Would this bother you?
oh well, it would bother me in a bit, but in the end shes the one who misses out of all the fun!
rojerono
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Re: Would this bother you?
I thik the poster who mentioned a 'tighter budget' was on the right track.
There is a huge amount of stress associated with weddings - and even 2 months before a wedding you are probably not sure exactly if there is some other cost that is going to 'pop up'.
Don't be too hard on her... she is probably really upset that she can't be there with everyone as it is.
If you CAN pay for her room - just do it and tell her it is done.
alioop4282
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Re: Would this bother you?
If it's a money issue I wouldn't be bothered at all. My wedding is in 35 days and I don't have a dime to spare at the moment and I'm only paying for the sless expensive things like favors and placecards!
Mooshyboo
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Re: Would this bother you?
Posted by Tria1110
She's got to do what she needs to do... she'll be missed but you'll still have a good time. Besides, you can't make her stay.
It is also a long time away - she might end up changing her mind.
I think she might change her mind...as she sees all the other girls will be excited to be there.....
BrideChrissy
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Re: Would this bother you?
It wouldn't bother me because she may be in a different financial situation than you. I understand your point but I also see hers.
NY031978
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Re: Would this bother you?
i do agree that you would be hurt! My hotel is the hyatt and i was hoping that all the girls would wanna stay but i know prob only 1 that will is my MOH...she lives 20 mins away but i dont think she not stay! Everyone else also live pretty close but from what i can see they will all go home b/c $$ factor or 2 of them have kids! Im doing the breakfast then next day, so i wish they all stay for it. I thought maybe they come back in the AM for it atleast, if they dont thats when id be hurt! So if this girl isnt zzzzz over bc of $$ try and be understanding i mean really its only a few hrs of zzzzzzz so let her go to her parents, do they live close? Maybe they will be willing to drive her back for your brunch!
weddingbunny
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Re: Would this bother you?
I wouldn't be hurt by that. People, please try to remember - this day is important to the people who love you, but not so important that they should go into debt for you! She probably won't have a penny to spare, possibly will already be in debt from her own wedding - if she has another place to stay that's free, I not only wouldn't be hurt if she took that opportunity, I'd encourage her to! Of course you want your friend to be there, and she probably very much wants to be there as well, but she is being realistic and knowing what her limits will be, and you need to respect that. Being a bridesmaid is very expensive without having to pay for a hotel room on top of that when you have somewhere free to stay.
debbiedee77
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Re: Would this bother you?
This wouldn't bother me at all. Maybe she can come back for the brunch. I agree with the other posters about her budget, I'm sure if she could afford it and money wasn't an issue, she would stay over. I only stay over in hotels if the wedding I am going to is a far distance. Don't make a big deal out of this, this is small stuff. My MOH stayed over but she didn't even make the brunch, she was so tired the next morning. Not a big deal, I didn't mind. As long as she's there for you on your big day, that's all that matters.
sarahradio5
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Re: Would this bother you?
I would offer to split the room with her and explain that it would just mean a lot to her if she continued the party with you afterwards and came the next day for the brunch. I can see it bothering you... I'm doing a similar thing at my hotel (actually paying extra to keep the bar open later) and am hoping that people stay for the party and brunch the next day, but people have different reasons for not being able to (especially since it's a Sunday!).
The fact that she's from Jersey just makes it so inconvenient for her parents to come out that night to pick her up, so maybe she would accept the offer to split the cost? Who wants to leave in the middle of a party?
