My FH and his cousin are very close,,,in age and everything and I guess they've always been pretty competative like brothers. Anyway his cousin announced his engagement to a girl that was still in highschool three years ago..anyway. We just got engaged 24/Dec 06. Over the last couple of weeks we have been researching RH's and the church we basically set a date - we are penciled in both the church and the RH. Well....today his cousin and his FW announced that they are getting married the same weekend!!!. Since they technically were engaged before us does that mean that they get the date.../?? Mind you this is the first we or any other fam members are hearing of them even setting a date yet!!! They haven't even gone to RH or church yet! (I know b/c she was out of the country and just got back on Friday) Am I out of line???
jteach711
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That is messed up and just b/c they were engaged first doesn't mean anything. Thay have been engaged for 3 years. If you booked yours first I would tell them they NEEDED to change their date. When I booked my wedding I found out that my fh's cousin was getting married the same weekend in Maryland. Thay were engaged first but they also booked their hall months ago. So b/c of that we changed ours until 2 weeks later. I would not accept that.
Autumn08
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Did they know you had set that date? That would irk me! But maybe she started putting pressure on him!
carolinebr
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Call me passive aggressive, but I would say to the bride 'are you sure you want to do that? Your wedding is a really big deal and after all the money & planning that goes into it all, don't you want the family's undivided attention? If you have your wedding the day before or after our wedding, people won't make as much of a fuss over you. Not to mention the inconvenience & strain it'll put on everyone. It's a lot to ask the family to attend 2 weddings in 1 weekend.'
ETA: Since you are looking at a Saturday wedding, I would also say to her 'if you have it the night before, we won't be attending and neither will some family b/c we'll be at thje church & then hosting our rehearsal dinner. We already booked with the church.' That oughta do it.
There IS a slight possibility that since she's 21, she doesn't 'get it.' Maybe her FMIL & can explain to her why its inappropriate.
Mooshyboo
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Wow that is weird ~ that would make me upset if they knew when your date was ~ I would wait and see when they start looking for churches & RH's ~ the places might not be available for the same weekend...
Ilovebriani
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yes it would piss me off....but, they prob didnt realize that you already booked your date. sine they did not book anything yet then i would just let them know and they will probably change it. if not, then i would be pissed.
I Love my bear
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Exactly I think that's what happened b/c she was out of the country when we announced ours and now as soon as she's back they have a date?? They always seem to have to have one up on us....apartments, cars, EVERYthing...funny thing is that we're pretty close with them..talking like we go out to dinner a lot and we see eachother football Sundays and all....but please...she's not even 21 originally they were going to wait until she was done with college and now this all of a sudden. I seriously feel like throwing up. Should I call her and ask her what the deal is???
Kara and Todd
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Posted by carolinebr
Call me passive aggressive, but I would say to the bride 'are you sure you want to do that? Your wedding is a really big deal and after all the money & planning that goes into it all, don't you want the family's undivided attention? If you have your wedding the day before or after our wedding, people won't make as much of a fuss over you. Not to mention the inconvenience & strain it'll put on everyone. It's a lot to ask the family to attend 2 weddings in 1 weekend.'
I confess I'd probably do the same thing.
Munchkn16
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I'd be thoroughly pissed off. How dare they ?!? Competition is one thing, utter stupidity is another. They're putting your FH's family in a very awkward position. If they go through with this, do they really intend to make his family choose which wedding they attend??
Maybe all the RHs will be booked for their weekend...
Good luck!
edited b/c i can't spell... as usual
I Love my bear
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It's stupid and immature..Please we are all adults here almost...ahem but anyway. The thing I dont' know is if they knew our date but something tells me they did b/c just the other night I was on the phone w/FMIL and told her we were just at the RH and we penciled in that date!!!! so why would they announce this out of nowhere??
2Be1
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Wait a minute did they set their date first . . . or did they hear about your date and spitefully set their date simultaneously with yours?
Chrissywish
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Posted by carolinebr
Call me passive aggressive, but I would say to the bride 'are you sure you want to do that? Your wedding is a really big deal and after all the money & planning that goes into it all, don't you want the family's undivided attention? If you have your wedding the day before or after our wedding, people won't make as much of a fuss over you. Not to mention the inconvenience & strain it'll put on everyone. It's a lot to ask the family to attend 2 weddings in 1 weekend.'
ETA: Since you are looking at a Saturday wedding, I would also say to her 'if you have it the night before, we won't be attending and neither will some family b/c we'll be at thje church & then hosting our rehearsal dinner. We already booked with the church.' That oughta do it.
There IS a slight possibility that since she's 21, she doesn't 'get it.' Maybe her FMIL & can explain to her why its inappropriate.
this is defnitely how i would start....if it came down to it and the refused to switch...i might switch mine...but i dunno...once someone tells me i can't it makes me want to more
DanNette
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YES! Regardless of when you got engaged, you picked your date first!!
MattandTricia07
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Yes this would be piss me off!!!! You have every right to feel the way you do.
FH's cousin and boyfriend decided to get engaged this past summer because she felt they should be married before us because they 'have been dating longer' so they got engaged, set a date and booked a place in a week. I was upset because I thought it was 'my time' in his family (his other cousin got married last summer) I felt as though I was being selfish, but I was just ready for it to be my year. She is getting married 5 months before me and I've come to terms with it because our weddings are going to be nothing alike.
I hope this girl reconsiders! And I would tell them everything is booked and that there are 365 days in a year..pick a different date!!
Kimbalina
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I am sorry that they 'stole' your weekend! I would do it after them,,, and show em up! Have the better party!
N.Y.bride
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Same date or same weekend? If its the same weekend it might almost work out for the Out of towners?
madseason
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If they are just saying they want to get married that weekend and youve actually taken steps to book vendors...then out of respect for you they should pick another date!
Princess Cut Bride
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Posted by carolinebr
Call me passive aggressive, but I would say to the bride 'are you sure you want to do that? Your wedding is a really big deal and after all the money & planning that goes into it all, don't you want the family's undivided attention? If you have your wedding the day before or after our wedding, people won't make as much of a fuss over you. Not to mention the inconvenience & strain it'll put on everyone. It's a lot to ask the family to attend 2 weddings in 1 weekend.'
ETA: Since you are looking at a Saturday wedding, I would also say to her 'if you have it the night before, we won't be attending and neither will some family b/c we'll be at thje church & then hosting our rehearsal dinner. We already booked with the church.' That oughta do it.
There IS a slight possibility that since she's 21, she doesn't 'get it.' Maybe her FMIL & can explain to her why its inappropriate.
Well said!!!!
If they haven't really gone looking at places yet...chances are they might not be able to get your weekend!!
People are just so inconsiderate!!!
luvabul
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i would be furious what does your FH feel???
snydl40
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I would be Pi$$ed!!!!!! Personally, if I were you, I would pick the weekend before.
