FH getting on my nerves just a tad. He's the more laid back one and takes pride in being modest and humble. I am the more chatty, bubbly one that walks into a place like, here I am! Opposites attract and honestly, another person like me would be annoying and vice versa.
Thing is, every time we talk about our wedding FH has to add, 'The ceremony is what I am about. That's the important part for me.' In the beginning, I figured he's a guy trying not to sound into the girly stuff. However, I am starting to feel like saying, 'yes, I am the superficial one' as if I loss sight of the ceremony significance and only care about flowers and the like. Sounds like he's implying that he is better than me regarding values and that I am superficial and into nonscence.
Any thoughts? Do others find this insulting?
Uck! Hopefully it's wedding stress!
AwaitingAugust
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Re: Would this piss you off a little?
yes, i'm sure it's wedding stress
i actually agree with your FH that the ceremony is the most important thing ... BUT that doesn't mean you should have a crappy reception!
to answer your question though, yes it would piss me off a little too if my FH didn't really have opinions about the wedding.
HSsweethearts
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Re: Would this piss you off a little?
I honestly don't think it's insulting. Especially if he's not a really outgoing party planner kind of person, it's not surprising to me when a groom isn't that interested in party details. In fact FH is the same way. He's mostly concerned with the ceremony, and doens't care about the party details.
I don't think you should take offense at ALL. I don't think he's saying you're focused on the wrong things, I think he's just letting you take the reigns on the reception stuff. Whether you're planning a simple or extravagant event, and even though the ceremony is the most important part SOMEONE has got to plan the party, and be glad he's letting you do it --no arguments!!!
Lsorrent
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Re: Would this piss you off a little?
He probably is thinking just like my FH. The MARRIAGE is the important part.....not the big party.
I got into a big fight with FH one day about this, and then realized that all this time, his concern is the MARRIAGE, and mine is the WEDDING. I've been making them one in the same, feeling like everytime he doesn't care about something with the wedding, it means he doesn't care about the marriage. But it's just the opposite.....he doesn't care about the wedding.....he cares about the MARRIAGE AFTER the wedding.
Iluvpoodles
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Re: Would this piss you off a little?
It's not insulting. I'm like him bc I tell FH all the time I would be happy getting married at city hall and am not really looking forward to the whole big party aspect of it. He loves parties being thrown for him, I don't ,so I guess that's why he was into having the whole big wedding thing more then me. We're both sorta shy and quiet. When I say this stuff to him, I don't think he thinks I'm saying it to be mean or anything.
halfbaked
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Re: Would this piss you off a little?
It's definitely wedding stress. I don't think he means it as a dig at you or that's he better or anything like that. Maybe he just honestly is more worried about the ceremony. Just try not to let it get to you!
AdriandSteve
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Re: Would this piss you off a little?
FH says this to me too but in another way. FH's aren't really too involved in the wedding planning and really could care less if your color was plum or eggplant or violet. There ceremony to them is the whole point of the wedding reception.
piscescutie2002
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Re: Would this piss you off a little?
Posted by jilliibabii
II don't think he means it as a dig at you or that's he better or anything like that. Just try not to let it get to you!
Wow. Great feedback from everyone. Yes, I am seeing it as a 'dig at me' but most likely it's that he feels funny not knowing so much of the details or the register/bridal shower process when talking to others. Now that I think of it, he's saying it so he doesn't sound uninterested so he stresses that the ceremony is the thing important to him.
OK. Thanks everyone. Needed talk/forum therapy. I guess he doesn't like to look stupid.
Tracey1979
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Re: Would this piss you off a little?
My DH said the same - ceremony is most important. I think that for my DH, he thinks that gave him the freedom to show no interest in or help with all of the other logistics.
cherryblossom
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Re: Would this piss you off a little?
FH also likes the use the 'I' when he gives advice to me.. and sometimes I also find it insulting. Maybe FH sees you getting stressed and wants to remind you that it just isn't that important. Sometimes we get caught up in silly things and lose sight of the true meaning of getting married.
jackieee
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Re: Would this piss you off a little?
Nope. It wouldn't piss you off. Honestly, the ceremony is the most important part. I don't think he is saying to you that you are superficial; he probably just doesn't care about colors or flowers, and honestly most guys don't!
piscescutie2002
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Re: Would this piss you off a little?
Posted by Tracey1979
My DH said the same - ceremony is most important. I think that for my DH, he thinks that gave him the freedom to show no interest in or help with all of the other logistics.
That's a good one!
Realized I haven't been smart in figuring out my FH. It's hasn't been 2 years even that we've dated. I think he just doesn't want to seem uninterested, uninformed etc about the reception details or any of the other stuff so he emphasizes the ceremony. So, I shouldn't see it as a dig and take it personally.
For the record, I realize the ceremony is the important part and the reception is merely just a celebration but there is so much planning for the reception part and other stuff with BM's, registering etc. Someone has to do it and I kinda enjoy it! :)
Curious George
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Re: Would this piss you off a little?
He's just chillin out! Maybe he's just reminding you that he's in this for you, not all the hoopla! It's important not to lose site of what should be most important, which is starting a life together and supporting one another through it all!! Just plan away darlin'!!
