would you be insulted??

Original post by maryb

Jul 07, 2005 09:17 PM

if you pretty much found out that you were on the B list for a friend's wedding??

its my FH's friend that he used to play baseball with in college and they are somewhat close now...

i got the invite today 7/7 and the response is 7/9 - SOOOO - i pretty much figured that out..
it doesnt bother me but its still in the back of my head... am i being dumb/childish??

Ophelia42 Posted: Jul 07, 2005 11:01 PM

Re: would you be insulted??

It would definitely depend on HOW close the friend was...

A close friend? Yeah, I'd be insulted. A not so close friend? If I knew they were having a huge wedding I'd be insulted, but if I knew they were having a smaller wedding (and I only got invited after family/closer friends declined) I would understand :)

(ETA: though, man - with dates *THAT* close - I think I'd be a little offended only because they made it so obvious that I was 'b listed' :) )

shamrock12472 Posted: Jul 07, 2005 11:19 PM

Re: would you be insulted??

Posted by Goldi1021

We only have an A-list. I think it is terribly insulting to have tiers of importance. Every person on our guest lists is invited because we want them there. If people say no, they are not replaced.

I couldn't agree more.

romameansamor Posted: Jul 08, 2005 10:11 AM

Re: would you be insulted??

I would never be insulted! It has to be understood that family comes first - We had a ton of obligation family invites we had to send out and many of them were OOT. We knew they prob. wouldn't come but we couldn't be 100% so we waited until we got some of their 'no''s back then we sent out ones to friends we really DID want there. I would never be insulted, making a guest list is a hard task and money is a big issue. I understand the obligation invites and well, that is life. I would be honored to be invited at all!

hmm8191 Posted: Jul 08, 2005 10:15 AM

Re: would you be insulted??

Life is too short. Try not to let it bother you. I mean you don't have to go!

LFitzy79 Posted: Jul 08, 2005 10:16 AM

Re: would you be insulted??

Posted by Goldi1021

We only have an A-list. I think it is terribly insulting to have tiers of importance. Every person on our guest lists is invited because we want them there. If people say no, they are not replaced.

I totally agree-it's JMO-but if you weren't willing to pay for the B-listers initially, then you shouldn't invite them at all.....

diamondgrlie Posted: Jul 08, 2005 10:28 AM

Re: would you be insulted??

I would be a little but maybe all the family were A list and friends were B list because of money reasons.

CherylBooch Posted: Jul 08, 2005 10:29 AM

Re: would you be insulted??

Not at all.
At least I'd know they were thinking of us and truly wanted us there to share their day.

I'd be more insulted if I wasn't invited at all.

Donna Posted: Jul 08, 2005 10:30 AM

Re: would you be insulted??

Don't be too insulted. My DH was still adding to his list after our invites went out
Maybe that's what happened?

My DH would remember someone and realize that he never put them on the list. Most people were very understanding

Janice Posted: Jul 08, 2005 10:36 AM

Re: would you be insulted??

I don't agree with a b list and would be insulted. Because someone's aunt isn't going to be able to attend, now you are being blessed with a golden ticket? No way, I would not go.

McSulllivan Posted: Jul 08, 2005 10:44 AM

Re: would you be insulted??

I have an 'A' list and a 'B' list.
I don't think I'd be offended.
Some people are able to invite everyone they want under the sun - good for them.
We aren't able to.

So sue me.

MissingTheBGene Posted: Jul 08, 2005 10:49 AM

Re: would you be insulted??

If I was really close with them, I think I would be a little upset. But then again, if I were really close, I would know of the situation and why they couldn't invite everyone they wanted. I don't know, I guess now that I'm planning my own wedding, it's easier for me to understand these things now.

If it was someone I was just an acquaintance with, it wouldn't bother me.

Thumballina Posted: Jul 08, 2005 11:33 AM

Re: would you be insulted??

Posted by McSulllivan

I have an 'A' list and a 'B' list.
I don't think I'd be offended.
Some people are able to invite everyone they want under the sun - good for them.
We aren't able to.

So sue me.

I agree...no one is handing us any money for any of this wedding, so if we have to have a B-list I don't think that makes us tacky or rude. I would LOVE to invite every person that we know...but Trump isn't my father...nor my mother

Jennie0898 Posted: Jul 08, 2005 11:38 AM

Re: would you be insulted??

Posted by Goldi1021

We only have an A-list. I think it is terribly insulting to have tiers of importance. Every person on our guest lists is invited because we want them there. If people say no, they are not replaced.

I agree 100%. We're doing the same thing.

Janice Posted: Jul 08, 2005 11:54 AM

Re: would you be insulted??

I paid for my wedding as well. I took my guest list number, and went to halls that I could afford to accommodate the number. It was more important to me to have everyone there that I had wanted then to go to a more extravagant level of reception hall.

AnnBrunoXO Posted: Jul 08, 2005 12:47 PM

Re: would you be insulted??

I would be insulted, like it was mentioned earlier - there are ways to not make it so obvious like sending the A list invites out earlier.....

Would it be possible that your invitation got lost in the mail - and got to you late? I know its a long shot - but I had it happen to me before.

dpli Posted: Jul 08, 2005 01:15 PM

Re: would you be insulted??

I wouldn't care, but if I only had 2 days to respond, I am not sure I would be available to go.

McSulllivan Posted: Jul 08, 2005 01:20 PM

Re: would you be insulted??

Posted by Janice

I paid for my wedding as well. I took my guest list number, and went to halls that I could afford to accommodate the number. It was more important to me to have everyone there that I had wanted then to go to a more extravagant level of reception hall.

Good for you. I tried to do the same thing.
We found a very reasonable place, but we still fall short. He wanted a wedding. Should we then have scrapped the entire idea on the off chance that we might offend anyone?

Two days is extremely short time. They could have timed it better, certainly.

Oh, and I don't exactly agree with the 'tiers of importance' thing either. I think it's 'rude and insulting' to insinuate that there are 'tiers of importance' for certain brides, when in fact, it's a financial decision.

Brides CRACK ME UP.

wood2be Posted: Jul 08, 2005 01:36 PM

Re: would you be insulted??

Posted by Soon2bMsZ

Yes. I understand the money issues but I think you can plan more carefully as to not be so obvious. ( send the A list invites out REALLY early etc.)

That's what we did. We had no choice but to have a B list. We sent out the first set early enough so that the b list went out 4 weeks prior to the wedding.

DH and I were invited to a wedding not even 2 weeks before, and it was a verbal invitation the MOB passed along to my MIL to give to us. DH's sisters and parents were invited months before. That was insulting!

bubbles Posted: Jul 08, 2005 02:16 PM

Re: would you be insulted??

I think I would be insulted also, I was planning on getting 2 different responses made up one with a later response date so that I wouldn't offend anyone, has anyone done that?