So, here's the story. My younger sister go engaged a little over 2 years ago and they never really planned on a wedding date. I just got engaged this past December and I'm getting married January 3, 09. I have my RH and my dress and blah blah blah. Anyway, my sister has been acting like this huge biotch everytime I bring up the topic of my wedding. Which isn't alot because we don't live in the same house anymore. But, I digress. Yesterday she calls me up and asks me if there are any questions that she should ask the banquet manager at catering halls because she's going to look at a few this weekend. So, I'm kinda happy for her until I ask her when she's planning on getting married. She tells me 'Oh, we were thinking either November or December of this year.' ***? Am I overreacting? Would you be angry?
meli722
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Re: Would you be mad?
are you angry because its close to your wedding date?
squeekietoy
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Posted by meli722
are you angry because its close to your wedding date?
Yes. That's why I'm angry. It seems like she's doing it out of spite. Almost like 'I was engaged first, I'm going to get married first.'
meli722
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Posted by squeekietoy
Posted by meli722
are you angry because its close to your wedding date?
Yes. That's why I'm angry. It seems like she's doing it out of spite. Almost like 'I was engaged first, I'm going to get married first.'
I guess I would be mad at that fact, but theres really nothing you can do about it because if shes set on that date, then shes set. I would suggest you just let her plan it however she wants, it seems like she isnt going to worry about you and when your wedding is. dont let it get to you, you have your own wedding to plan
jesca
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i dont think you're overreacting, i would be mad as well. but ask yourself, do you really see her getting married this november or december? if your sister is the type that needs total control and tons of planning time, she might not get married this year once she realizes she wont have a ton of time (not saying its not doable, but for some it isnt) and if all else fails, make snide comments about how ackward she'll look as a winter bride. lol
MsPotterhead
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I totally see how you feel, but also try to see how she must feel. She probably does want to get married first because she was engaged first. Its not such a horrible thing. You both need to just sit down and talk about how you are feeling. It will work out-- remember that you are sisters and love each other!
jen919ifer
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I would totally be mad. You should ask her why she is choosing a date so close to yours? Call her out LOL
meli722
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Posted by MsPotterhead
I totally see how you feel, but also try to see how she must feel. She probably does want to get married first because she was engaged first. Its not such a horrible thing. You both need to just sit down and talk about how you are feeling. It will work out-- remember that you are sisters and love each other!
i also think this is a big reason shes choosing december or november because its RIGHT before your wedding and she must feel liek if she got engaged 1st then she should be married 1st
BoxOfRocks
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This is a sticky situation. I am not sure what the past relationship dynamic is between your and your sister, but based on your post it appears it was her and her FH's choice to have a long engagement, but it seems she feels that because they got engaged first, they have a 'right' to get married first.
If it is a matter of showing up her sister (you), yes, I'd be annoyed she scheduled her wedding so soon before yours. Weddings shouldn't be competitive.
Don't confront her and demand she move her date. Remember, she feels that you're 'stealing her spotlight' (although I hate using that expression in this context).
If she wants to have her wedding on the date she specified, let her proceed with planning. I think the best thing you can do is continue with your own plans. Take the high road and don't engage in the competition.
Jenn04
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I just went through a similar siutation but reverse. My sister got engaged first and is getting married 10/10/08. We r older and don't want to wait a long time so we thought November would be ok. Well it caused a huge family outrage! Everyone told me I could not get married one month after her and it would be too much confusion and too many OOT guest traveling.
Well I was so upset! I thought I was being nice by waiting till after her. So anyway parents and sister finally said weddings need to be 3 months apart. I said no way am I getting married in winter and we ARE not waiting till 09. So our only choice was to push up till this summer!!!! I wasn't crazy bout it but FH dad is not healthy and had cancer so it makes the most sense. Everyone was ok with it!
But I know how you feel and think you should speak up. My sister spoke up and it was hard for me to take but I listened. Also who is paying for the weddings? That is a big burden! And think of OOT guests...they may choose one over the other!
MaggieLuvsJoe
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WOW I would be totally pissed off, that's right before your wedding and usually around the time your bridal shower would be, it seems like she's just doing it to say she was married first....
maybe you should have a chat with her and let her know how you feel, remind her how hard it will be on your family to have 2 weddings back to back.
coley1027
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i would be pisted if that were me. if she didnt put any effort into wedding planning for the past two years, and now all of a sudden shes all for it, and planning to get married a month or two before yours, i would be completely annoyed. you should sit down with her and discuss that its going to be a lot for your family.. two weddings within a month. she should really wait, because now in my opinion its like shes trying to take the attention away from you and put it back on her.
mRm2008
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I would be mad and a little hurt. I think you should talk to her and express your feelings about the situation. She may be more receptive than you think about making it after your date. I know so many things book up so soon she might not be able to pull it off before yours anyhow.
PegaLega
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I would be upset. I had an issue like this with my SIL but it all worked itself out. Was I upset-yes, but there really isnt anything you can do about it-regardless of how much planning you have done. The only thing I would be worried about is how do your parents feel about them being so close? Otherwise, take a breath and just keep planning your wedding.
bluegreen08
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I agree with everyone else... I would be upset, especially if she was doing it for spite
talk to her
Smde39
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I think I would be angry also. I dont blame you at all
vmystique33
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I would absolutely be annoyed !!!! I would have a little chat with her and ask her nicely to postpone it IMO
madseason
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honestly. IMO you shouldnt be mad. There is going to be soooo many more things down the road worth ur energy.. this isnt one of them.
I dont think she is doing it out of spite. Perhaps you planning your wedding has prompted her to move ahead with her own plans. If it wasnt you, it would have been someone else. We are brides...we dont own dates, years, colors, halls, or limos. We get stressed and bring this negative energy on ourselves. I would congradulate her and look at this as an oppertunity as sisters to bond over planning ur weddings together. You can share in the stress. complain about mom.
Just congradulate her and drop it. Theres nothing u can do. Be the better person. Everyone in July 2009 is still going to be all about you!
Im a Pepper
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Posted by Jenn04
I just went through a similar siutation but reverse. My sister got engaged first and is getting married 10/10/08. We r older and don't want to wait a long time so we thought November would be ok. Well it caused a huge family outrage! Everyone told me I could not get married one month after her and it would be too much confusion and too many OOT guest traveling.
Well I was so upset! I thought I was being nice by waiting till after her. So anyway parents and sister finally said weddings need to be 3 months apart. I said no way am I getting married in winter and we ARE not waiting till 09. So our only choice was to push up till this summer!!!! I wasn't crazy bout it but FH dad is not healthy and had cancer so it makes the most sense. Everyone was ok with it!
But I know how you feel and think you should speak up. My sister spoke up and it was hard for me to take but I listened. Also who is paying for the weddings? That is a big burden! And think of OOT guests...they may choose one over the other!
i was in a similar situation. FH's BIL is getting married in August 09. we didn't want to have a wedding to close, but i'm starting my accelerated BSN degree in september. if we didn't get married before aug 09, we would have had to wait until the end of 2010 when school was over. we asked the b&g that are getting married in August and they were TOTALLY cool with it. i'm so happy they were so understanding because it's easy to feel sort of territorial about your wedding date!
longislandlibrarian
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Re: Would you be mad?
I would definitely be a little annoyed esp if she got engaged so long ago and did nothing for sooo long! and now all of a sudden because you are getting married she is in overdrive----Iwould definitely be mad!
