Would you be mad?

Original post by squeekietoy

Feb 09, 2008 12:11 PM

So, here's the story. My younger sister go engaged a little over 2 years ago and they never really planned on a wedding date. I just got engaged this past December and I'm getting married January 3, 09. I have my RH and my dress and blah blah blah. Anyway, my sister has been acting like this huge biotch everytime I bring up the topic of my wedding. Which isn't alot because we don't live in the same house anymore. But, I digress. Yesterday she calls me up and asks me if there are any questions that she should ask the banquet manager at catering halls because she's going to look at a few this weekend. So, I'm kinda happy for her until I ask her when she's planning on getting married. She tells me 'Oh, we were thinking either November or December of this year.' ***? Am I overreacting? Would you be angry?

stacey23 Posted: Feb 09, 2008 03:17 PM

Re: Would you be mad?

i definitely would be mad......

JennNicole Posted: Feb 09, 2008 03:45 PM

Re: Would you be mad?

I get the feeling that you feel she is UPSTAGING You. However, she might feel the same.

It does stink that it turned to this after she had no date planned from the get go - but l@@K at it from from this perpective - since she is going first Learn from her experiences what to change and not to change for your wedding. Anotherwards use her as your ginny pig

Don't express any feelings of anger just go w/the flow and be smarter. You have a good chance at perfecting things better now since she is going first.

*Also did you know that you will be the 'BRIDE' for the time after your wedding and she won't!She will just be a Newlywed ! Does that make you feel better?

As the saying goes Still 'the Bride' until the next gets married in the family.

Dontcha just LOVE It???

squeekietoy Posted: Feb 09, 2008 04:07 PM

Re: Would you be mad?

Thanks ladies. I brought this up to my mom and she definately said I should sit down with my sister and talk about this. If she's doing this out of spite, IDK. But, I intend to find out what her reasoning is.

bemyyoko Posted: Feb 09, 2008 04:23 PM

Re: Would you be mad?

I get why you're upset. But if I were you I wouldn't let it get to you too bad because after the weddings are over you'll still be sisters and you'll still love eachother.

Perhaps she had a long engagement, but that doesn't mean she should have to make it longer just because you set a date. There is plenty of time in 08 for her to plan and have her wedding, maybe she didn't want to push it off until 09, and won't have the time/money to have it earlier this year.

As brides we need to remember that only 1 day out of the year is actually 'ours'

Is it inconvenient to plan the weddings so close together, absolutely.
Sent out STD's and hope people make plans to come to yours, that way if they have to decide which to go to, you had 'first dibs'

Also, if it makes you feel better, and the family weddings I went to this year EVERYONE came up to me and said 'You're Next!!' all excited and what not. Their weddings did not take away from mine and mine was not taking away from theirs.

Maybe she is doing it b/c she was engaged first, so what?
A lot of brides come on here and have the other side of the coin, and say 'I've been engaged longer than my sister, we hadn't officially set a date and then she picked a time that's really far away and expects me to wait until after her wedding. Is that fair???'

In those cases 'we' all tell her, no, it's not fair, talk to her and tell her you don't want to push it that far back...

you know what i mean? It's okay that you're upset, and it makes sense that you're upset. Just don't let it ruin your relationship with your sister.

DiamondPipa Posted: Feb 09, 2008 05:01 PM

Re: Would you be mad?

Posted by bemyyoko

I get why you're upset. But if I were you I wouldn't let it get to you too bad because after the weddings are over you'll still be sisters and you'll still love eachother.

Perhaps she had a long engagement, but that doesn't mean she should have to make it longer just because you set a date. There is plenty of time in 08 for her to plan and have her wedding, maybe she didn't want to push it off until 09, and won't have the time/money to have it earlier this year.

As brides we need to remember that only 1 day out of the year is actually 'ours'

Is it inconvenient to plan the weddings so close together, absolutely.
Sent out STD's and hope people make plans to come to yours, that way if they have to decide which to go to, you had 'first dibs'

Also, if it makes you feel better, and the family weddings I went to this year EVERYONE came up to me and said 'You're Next!!' all excited and what not. Their weddings did not take away from mine and mine was not taking away from theirs.

Maybe she is doing it b/c she was engaged first, so what?
A lot of brides come on here and have the other side of the coin, and say 'I've been engaged longer than my sister, we hadn't officially set a date and then she picked a time that's really far away and expects me to wait until after her wedding. Is that fair???'

In those cases 'we' all tell her, no, it's not fair, talk to her and tell her you don't want to push it that far back...

you know what i mean? It's okay that you're upset, and it makes sense that you're upset. Just don't let it ruin your relationship with your sister.

I agree with this 100% percent.

wundmoretime Posted: Feb 09, 2008 05:51 PM

Re: Would you be mad?

I would be irrate if I were you. Having a wedding in Jan, after the holidays, is tough for people to afford to attend. To add another wedding before the holidays then yours right after would probably be too costly for OOT guests. It will be hard for people to get off from work for both. If you won't have many OOT guests, then this might not be too much a factor except for the cost of gift giving. It will affect the immediate family financially. My FBIL's got married last year 4 months apart. The FMIL lives in Fla. You can't wear the same dress to both weddings, esp that close. I suggest sending STDs so the family knows that you have this planned already. Then they will know your sister's was planned after yours. I have a cousin that did that to my sister. IMO, you will also get a smaller gift from the relatives that will attend both. Going through it months apart last year, we felt it financially. We opted to not stay at the hotel to cut some costs.

AugustBridein09 Posted: Feb 09, 2008 06:23 PM

Re: Would you be mad?

I would be FURIOUS and I would send my STDs NOW so OOTs have your date first.

I'm evil.

Aug07OFCbride Posted: Feb 09, 2008 07:26 PM

Re: Would you be mad?

Sounds like your planning may have been a kind of a wake up call for her to get her butt in gear in planning. She may also be a bit jealous or trying to beat ya too it..but to be honest, does it really matter?? It can be annoying granted...but it doesn't take anything special away from your day, ya know? And she has just as much of a right to get married whatever day as you had in choosing yours.. so I wouldn't be mad. Your day is going to be so nice and special. And its about you and your husband, no one else. Hopefully your wedding day and marriage is more than a
game to beat someone in.

Sorry youre feeling upset! Its only human to have some reaction but try not to let it really get to you!!!

Best wishes!

BunnyBears Posted: Feb 09, 2008 07:26 PM

Re: Would you be mad?

i am one of the few but i do not think its a big deal... they were engaged first and its not that close to yours..

hope everything works out!

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Feb 09, 2008 07:37 PM

Re: Would you be mad?

So what? I wouldn't let it bother me unless it was like the same exact day. She probably won't do anything anyway, don't waste the energy being mad at her. I know we'd all like to think that our weddings are the only wedding people care about, but it just isn't that way. Don't let it ruin your relationship with her....she's probably jealous and won't really do anything. And if she does, then she's just spiteful and there's nothing you can do to change her.