Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)*Updated- he called at 10:30

Sunny Posted: Aug 16, 2003 10:22 PM

Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)*Updated- he called at 10:30

Fh is in Florida. He has a history of going away and not calling me. I think I should get at least one call a day- he sometimes waits a couple of days.
Every time he does this, we brawl.
He left thursday, called me thursday to make sure all was well with the blackout and everything, and called me last night.

I have not heard from him today, and I know I probably won't because he was going out tonight.

We have been together 9 years, and this happens every time. Do I start another war when I hear from him, or just realize things never change and get over it because i know he loves me and is just an idiot.

HearzBellz Posted: Aug 16, 2003 10:24 PM

I would be mad, but I would probably be wrong.

I have a really short fuse, so I may not be the best person to give this advice. Try doing exactly the opposite of what he expects & see if he doesn't change his habits (or at least apologize for them.)

JMO..... but I would really be mad

Sunny Posted: Aug 16, 2003 10:25 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

He will not change. So that is why I am thinking just let it go.

I just don't understand why he knows how mad I get and he still does it. Is it that difficult to pick up the phone once a day?

allure Posted: Aug 16, 2003 10:26 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

I would be mad also
But you know him better then any of us ever will
I guess you have found a way to deal w/this
I go through similar problems so i know

HearzBellz Posted: Aug 16, 2003 10:28 PM

I had an ex who was like that.... he actually went to Cancun for 10 days and never called me. That p*ssed me off.

I don't know why he would not call when he knows it bothers you. Maybe he thinks its silly to call everyday, even though you & I think it is perfectly reasonable.

allure Posted: Aug 16, 2003 10:30 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

Sunny Fm

Sunny Posted: Aug 16, 2003 10:33 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

I have not found a way to deal with it- that is my problem.

I know he doesn't do it on purpose, he is just stupid.(I know that sounds mean but I am mad right now)

You would think he would call just to avoid a fight! It is not like he is away with all his friends- he is visiting family and I could call him (and usually do to avoid this) but I missed him and he went out.

So he'll either not call tonight at all or call and wake me when he gets home, which also makes me mad.

The Original 2nd-time-around Posted: Aug 16, 2003 10:35 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

Don't mean to add fuel to your fire, but I'd be bothered

Sunny Posted: Aug 16, 2003 10:37 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

I am bothered. I am trying not to because I am so sick of having this fight over and over and over.....

anna Posted: Aug 16, 2003 10:41 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

Steph, I know what you mean, about sometimes they never change . John will either NOT call me if he knows im 'out and about' because he says what if im driving, he doesnt want the cell phone to distract me (ok, decent excuse ) but then on the other hand, he will call me on the way home from work and talk my ear off, as im cooking and watching the baby to make sure he doesnt break anything , so I'll say 'Ok, tell me when you get home, you'll be home in 15 minutes!!' and he gets annoyed

So I'd go with the 'men are stupid' justification.

and when he wants to babble, hey tell him, you gotta run and get things done or gotta run and go out with the girls =)

Dont take it personally (and tell him this is the last of his 'singles' vacations

Let boys be boys, dont let it get to you

Sunny Posted: Aug 16, 2003 10:43 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

Yes, that is true.

It is not really a singles vacation- his dad just moved to florida (and so did the rest of his family) and I am glad he went, he has been so down because he misses them.

swags1016 Posted: Aug 16, 2003 10:59 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

Steph when he calls just play indifferent. He is probably expecting you to be ****ed and just uh huh and yes everything when he calls. He will get the message without a brawl!

nehaliasz Posted: Aug 16, 2003 11:00 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

I understand how you would be upset, and I would too. Of course, when I go away I check in everyday. When FH goes away on business, I hopefully get an e-mail a day, but when he goes to visit home or friends it sometimes is every other day when I hear from him. It bothers me and I get kind of short with him on the phone when he finally does call. He's going to Vegas with some of his friends next weekend... ugh! Hopefully he'll think of poor me missing him.

allure Posted: Aug 16, 2003 11:00 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

Great advice Jamie

Sunny Posted: Aug 16, 2003 11:07 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

Ok- he just called. Now I feel guilty for all that Bit*hing I did about him!

swags1016 Posted: Aug 16, 2003 11:10 PM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

Ah don't sweat it! Frankie takes too long in the bathroom in the morning and I am sitting here cursing under my breathe and then he comes out and I was like- ah that wasn't so bad what am I complaining about!!

It is natural, plus you are not happy today!

kmcwed Posted: Aug 17, 2003 11:26 AM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

Sunny, I have the opposite problem!

When my DH goes upstate to work on his house, or when he occasionally goes skiing with his friends for a few days, I tell him he doesn't have to call me everyday. I just want him to let he know he got there safely. Other than that, I don't expect him to check in with me every day. But he does, EVERY time! Sometimes twice a day! His house upstate doesn't even have phone service, so he drives to the local pay phone! (No cell service up there either). I don't think it's necessary but that's just me.

I've told him many times to just go and have a good time, and don't worry about calling. But he does anyway. So you and I have opposite problems! LOL!

Sunny Posted: Aug 17, 2003 11:29 AM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

That is sweet that he does that! I would be so happy!

MrsTC Posted: Aug 17, 2003 11:51 AM

Re: Would you be mad if you were me?(advice please)

I would be mad - it's not that hard to pick up the phone once a day - especially since he knows how much it bugs you ! I don't mean to upset you more than you already are but that's my opinion I have many friends whose BF, FH, DH do the same.....it just doesn't cross their minds how much it bothers us and they don't think it's a big deal!