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Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

Munchkn16 Posted:

Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

My FH has a ot of female friends, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. Two of them are married with kids. I knw them both and like them. One is younger than me, single, and very cute. I know he loves me, and I trust him. But still, it's kind of strange for me to hear him say that he's going to hang out with them, particularly the young single one.

Am I nuts? Not sure how to aproach this, if at all.
angl2001 Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

100% fine with it!!

i have ALOT of guy friends and i let him know aout that from day 1 some of them are people i have dated or 'hung out with' in the past others are just friends. He accepts it he knows im not gonna do anything behind his back ! he likes most of them. He hates the fact i still talk to my EX alot ( the EX right before him) but if he shows up where we are he says hi and walks away,,,,he showed up at the bar for my birthday and FH was really good about it!!! we trust eachother 120% so there is no problem!
Mrs. V 2008 Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

100% ok with it..i have a bunch of male friends so its fine..i trust him!

xXxNovember08xXx Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

Posted by Munchkn16

My FH has a ot of female friends, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. Two of them are married with kids. I knw them both and like them. One is younger than me, single, and very cute. I know he loves me, and I trust him. But still, it's kind of strange for me to hear him say that he's going to hang out with them, particularly the young single one.

Am I nuts? Not sure how to aproach this, if at all.


i used to be liek that ... same situation.. FH woudl always hang out with her...

5 years later shes in the wedding party as a BM!

shes been in FH's life since forever... is great friends with FH, FBIL, and all FH's friends... sehs 'one of the guys'.... i get it.. bc i was liek that when i was growign up also...

love her
PP424 Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

FH has a bunch of female friends and I love them. They accepted me as their friends right away. So if anything I gained more friends and they are great! So no complaints here.

Sunset Renee Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

I used to have a tun of guy friends but FH was not okay with it - they went in a bad direction anyways, so whatever - I think if they are old friends then no biggie - but we definitely don't need any new comers!!!

madseason Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

this is a hard question. Think of what your boundaries are - what makes u comfortable.

When I met FH he was just out of a very dysfunctional relationship and he was very screwed up by it. He had a lot of female friends. I have boundaries. He did things - he NEVER cheated - but my boundaries were crossed, and sometimes the girls crossed them, so those stopped. if people cant respect your boundaries and the boundaries of a relationship, then i dont feel a relationship like a friendship can continue = bc there has to be mutual respect all around. I have to respect and trust they are just friends, and the girls have to respect and trust that I come first, that we are in love, and he has to respect that I come first and to not do anything that makes me feel uncomfortable, and respect me enought that if something does arise, he act accordingly.

FOr instance, he had a friend that has alil boy. He kept the friend ship with her, and was nice to the son. One day he was over and she tells him she knows hes ENGAGED, but loves him and wants him to be the father to his son. So that ended right away. I knew she was going to do this, but FH had to see it for himself.

Those are my feelings. FH has some female friends, but not as much as he used to. thats the honest truth. I have male friends too, but not as much as i used to - but my male friends are his friends, the ones he had first. his best friend is practically mine too, u kno?
smplynluv Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

I have alot more guy friends than girl friends and wouldn't wanna give fh that double standard. I would never think of doing anything with them and vice versa. I wouldn't want fh telling me that I can't have or hang out with my guy friends so I wouldn't tell him he can have girl friends. It was somewhat an issue when we first started dating but once he met them he realised he had nothing to worry about.

zoe282 Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

I think it depends on the female friends. FH has been friends for years with some girls...and I know them and like them alot....that being said I think I would have trouble with 'new' female friends such as....hey i'm getting drinks with a co worker and it's a girl....or something along those lines. I haven't been in that situation yet i just think i would be a little bothered.

zoe282 Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

I know i'm going to get attacked for this one....i'm prepared..lol....but i honestly don't believe guys and girls can be 'best friends'. ok i'm ready for it! lol I think that one person always wants something more....that's meaning that 1 or both are single. If both are in a relationship i guess it's a little different, but i just don't believe it's natural. I think someone always wants more...

jessnstu08 Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

Posted by PP424

FH has a bunch of female friends and I love them. They accepted me as their friends right away. So if anything I gained more friends and they are great! So no complaints here.



Same here ! although i would be a little weary of new female friends coming into the picture
Autumn08 Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

I'm fine with FH having female friends. In fact his friend Jen is also a good friend of mine now and is in the BP. Just the fact that a friend of his is female or a friend of mine is male doesn't mean anything is inappropriate or suspicious.

Soon2BDoubleL Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

I'm also fine with FH having female friends. I also am in the situation where one of FH's female friends is now one of my good friends and is in the wedding party.

Future Mulligan Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

it depends on the situation....i have guy friends that if i went and hung out with alone it wouldnt bother FH at all and vice versa BUT i do know that sometimes a guy and a girl can be more than just friends - how do i know this? well because i've had guy friends that were 'just a friend' but were really more than that and i've also been the girl that was 'just a friend' but was really more than that, sometimes really close friendships between a guy and girl get tested, tricky and strange this is not always the case but from experience i know it can happen - FH and I don't do a lot of hanging out alone with the opposite sex, i kind of stopped that once we got serious - now we hang out more in group settings anyways

bemyyoko Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

I didn't pick any of the survey choices b/c it depends on the situation.
I'm lucky, b/c DH and I 'ran with the same crowd' in college, so his friends, are either my friends or people I know really well.
Girls he's known for years don't bother me as long as they respect our relationship b/c I trust DH.
It's not even about not trusting the girls, b/c even if they tried to make a move on DH he wouldn't go for it, but if they make a move on him, that's disrespectful to me and our relationship.

There was a girl who crossed the line and DH and I had to confront her about it, I told her that I had no problem with her as a person, heck, we were friends! But DH told her that if she couldn't get over the fact that we were together, she had to go.
That was that, they are no longer friends.

Now, hanging out with some 'new chick' from work or anywhere else... that would bug the hell out of me, I'm not gonna lie.
GinaZ Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

Mine has friends that are girls. But not like he spends alone time with them. I guess it depends. one of the girls is a good friend of us both and she was one of the people who introduced us. they grab dinner sometimes and Im always welcome but sometimes I cant go. I never thought of him eating dinner with her different than going out with one of his guy friends. But I understand tehir relationship. There was a girl he used to work with that was in a bad relationship and I didn't know her. And she started calling him alllll the time freaking out. And I got mad finally and said she neded to stop calling all the time. She was calling on weekends while we were out with family and it was just weird. He got her to stop. i dunno what he said to her. haha then I met her and she was like 8 years older than us! I was like ummmm grow up and make friends so you have someone else to bug!

LuvMyAlfonse Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

I don't know...

My FH has two girl friends and they're awesome.

On the other hand - I feel like I can't have male friends - which I do. I have two friends from college that I kind of avoid. I feel terribly but I know Alfonse wouldn't be cool with it.

Double standard, I know.

However - if he JUST became friends with a girl (say a girl from work or the gym or something) - hell no that ain't happening. Trust or no trust - I wouldn't randomly become friends with a man - what would be the point?
bemyyoko Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

Posted by Future Mulligan

it depends on the situation....i have guy friends that if i went and hung out with alone it wouldnt bother FH at all and vice versa BUT i do know that sometimes a guy and a girl can be more than just friends - how do i know this? well because i've had guy friends that were 'just a friend' but were really more than that and i've also been the girl that was 'just a friend' but was really more than that, sometimes really close friendships between a guy and girl get tested, tricky and strange this is not always the case but from experience i know it can happen - FH and I don't do a lot of hanging out alone with the opposite sex, i kind of stopped that once we got serious - now we hang out more in group settings anyways


Ditto.
LuvMyAlfonse Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

Posted by zoe282

I know i'm going to get attacked for this one....i'm prepared..lol....but i honestly don't believe guys and girls can be 'best friends'. ok i'm ready for it! lol I think that one person always wants something more....that's meaning that 1 or both are single. If both are in a relationship i guess it's a little different, but i just don't believe it's natural. I think someone always wants more...


I totally agree.
angl2001 Posted:

Re: Would you be ok with your FH/DH having female friends?

Posted by zoe282

I know i'm going to get attacked for this one....i'm prepared..lol....but i honestly don't believe guys and girls can be 'best friends'. ok i'm ready for it! lol I think that one person always wants something more....that's meaning that 1 or both are single. If both are in a relationship i guess it's a little different, but i just don't believe it's natural. I think someone always wants more...


not attacking....but i have heard Alot of people say the same thing......one of my best friends is a guy. we have been friends since kindergarten and never has anoything other than a friendship....he lioves in oregon now and is married with a baby on the way....we have shared a bed ( not sexually lol like i said we never did anything) seen eachotehr practically naked but have always been friends hes more like a brother and people never believe that we have always JUST BEEN FRIENDS but it can be done lol....i can definatly see why people say you can't be! but there are some people who can

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