Would you be pissed...

Original post by htkp

Dec 14, 2011 07:02 PM

if your fiancee bought a car for himself and didn't tell you until after the fact?

kaygrease Posted: Dec 15, 2011 09:16 AM

Re: Would you be pissed...

Posted by Bride2Be78

I would be pissed. I agree with the ladies on here. Big purchases should be discussed.

This!

aef3333 Posted: Dec 15, 2011 09:33 AM

Re: Would you be pissed...

Posted by htkp

if your fiancee bought a car for himself and didn't tell you until after the fact?

This is so funny u said this because my fh just did this last week!! He had been talking about it but I didn't think he'd actually go out and buy one. I was a little upset bc we are saving for the wedding but we don't have a combined account yet. He's been beyond helpful with planning the wedding and paying for a lot of costs. But I def felt a little pissed but kept it in bc I didn't feel it was worth starting an argument.

FutureMrsGTL Posted: Dec 15, 2011 09:38 AM

Re: Would you be pissed...

I would be pissed... thats not a purchase you just go and make without discussing first.

MrsCtoBe5512 Posted: Dec 15, 2011 11:10 AM

Re: Would you be pissed...

I would be very angry-- not because of the finances because we have both joint and separate accounts and not everything is merged yet, but i would just think it was so weird that he wouldn't tell me he was getting a car or discuss his options with me or ask for my opinion on it all.

JenL Posted: Dec 15, 2011 11:36 AM

Re: Would you be pissed...

My initial reaction is yes, id be totally pissed. But depending on how long you've been together and where u are as far as merging finances should also be a factor. That being said, I would think he would have at least told you he was thinking of buying something that big. I think its strange.

TheLadyJ Posted: Dec 15, 2011 11:40 AM

Re: Would you be pissed...

I would be upset. He needs to understand that these things effect the both of you. Especially if he's taking on a huge monthly payment that will become part of the household budget when you get married.

FH just got a new car in October. They were willing to take some money off of the price if he went into financing with a huge balloon payment (like $9K) after 5 years. He was all for it, and I basically told him I really have no idea where we'll be in 5 years and if we are going to have $9k laying around with the possibility of 2 kids being in the picture.

So yes, you have a right to be upset.

linda_art Posted: Dec 15, 2011 12:00 PM

Re: Would you be pissed...

Maybe pissed for all of one minute and then I'd be INCREDIBLY and EXTREMELY hurt. Im sorry if this happened to you. thats terribly disappointing if he didn't think to even discuss it with you first, not even for your 'approval' but just as a discussion. You are a team, at least thats how we must operate for our relationship to work through good and bad times. Thats also a commitmment- car payments, insurance payments, etc... What if you decided all on your own that you were gonna have a baby without discussing it with him. Sure its not the same thing but it is an investment and something that can't be returned. I hope you can both work this out. For me it would make me question his trust and respect for me as his partner, his equal.

christinajimmy06 Posted: Dec 15, 2011 07:53 PM

Re: Would you be pissed...

Posted by ChristineNorah

I would be concerned, since in our relationship we have an agreement that we discuss together before making any large purchases.

Agreed!

FutureMrsK2012 Posted: Dec 15, 2011 08:14 PM

Re: Would you be pissed...

I deff would!
You guys are not just dating anymore, you're agreeing to spend the rest of your lives together and your decisions affect one another. God forbid he loses his job and can't make the payments or something, the car then becomes your responsibility bc I'm sure you wouldn't want your husband to have bad credit - that would affect the two of you as a couple. ITA with the other ladies here...big purchases should deff be discussed.