Would you be upset..

becks23 Posted: Nov 30, 2004 02:50 PM

Would you be upset..

If almost halfway into your planning one of your best friends - who you share a lot of mutual friends with - is tossing around the idea of getting married a few weeks to a month after you?

thanks.

tray831 Posted: Nov 30, 2004 02:56 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

Honestly, Yeah, I probably would be.

KimberlyBride Posted: Nov 30, 2004 02:56 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

Yes I would be upset and even more upset if it was a few weeks before.

Pookiesangel Posted: Nov 30, 2004 02:57 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

Posted by KimberlyBride

Yes I would be upset and even more upset if it was a few weeks before.

Ditto!

CubanBride Posted: Nov 30, 2004 02:58 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

No. Why? It's after, so whats the problem? I am not getting it.

hbradio Posted: Nov 30, 2004 03:00 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

If it was AFTER my wedding I would not care - before I WOULD care.

Marisa M Posted: Nov 30, 2004 03:06 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

as long as she doesn't do it BEFORE you -
But that's kind of inconsiderate to all of the mutual guests .......esp if there are a lot of them !
I would be annoyed. But unfortunately, there's nothing you can do

o17range Posted: Nov 30, 2004 03:09 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

I honestly think it would depend on the circumstances....if your friend had a good reason for planning it in a similar time frame then I'd just be happy for her. If she's doing it just to get married (would anyone actually do that?) and just wants the attention, then I probably would feel slighted.

becks23 Posted: Nov 30, 2004 03:15 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

Thanks for the responses

It's not that I am just upset bc her wedding day might be right after mine, but bc if it happens, I will be on my honeymoon leading up to hers - therefore potentially not being able to particpate in pre-wedding events...bachelorette party, etc. as well as last minute help for her. On the flip side, with her wedding right behind mine, I doubt she will be able to be super involved in helping me either in the weeks leading up to my wedding. It just stinks bc we are best friends - she is my BM - and to not be able to be fully involved in each other's weddings is upsetting me. To me, the wedding is more than just the day - it is also the shower, bach party and other related special days that I will remember and would want my best friend to be a part of, and that I would be a part of hers.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Bebalina Posted: Nov 30, 2004 03:20 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

Posted by becks23

Thanks for the responses

It's not that I am just upset bc her wedding day might be right after mine, but bc if it happens, I will be on my honeymoon leading up to hers - therefore potentially not being able to particpate in pre-wedding events...bachelorette party, etc. as well as last minute help for her. On the flip side, with her wedding right behind mine, I doubt she will be able to be super involved in helping me either in the weeks leading up to my wedding. It just stinks bc we are best friends - she is my BM - and to not be able to be fully involved in each other's weddings is upsetting me. To me, the wedding is more than just the day - it is also the shower, bach party and other related special days that I will remember and would want my best friend to be a part of, and that I would be a part of hers.

Thanks for letting me vent!

i wouldnt stress it...if shes dumb enuff not realize you'd miss out on all that thats her problem...besides tell her needs more time to plan...

CubanBride Posted: Nov 30, 2004 03:21 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

hmmm, I don't think you should worry yet. Actually, you should probably bring it up to her. Explain why you think it will be a poor decision to make t so close. I am sure she would agree.

bluesashbride Posted: Nov 30, 2004 03:36 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

one of my BMs got engaged last month and is getting married a month before me. my FI is mad but i'm OK with it. kinda sad for her, she's less a part of my wedding planning, and all of my friends think its wrong, but whatever. she's still one of my BMs and i expect her to help my MOH with the shower.

lauren16 Posted: Nov 30, 2004 03:37 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

Yes I agree...you should just say that you wish you could be more a part of her festivites and vice versa, since it will be difficult if they're so close together. Hopefully she didn't actually mean anything negative by it but it will probably make you feel better if you talk about it with her. At least then you'll know.

GoingNutty Posted: Nov 30, 2004 03:53 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

One of my friends got engaged about 7 months after us and is getting married 2 months before. I'm not upset, just a little jealous...

azoodie Posted: Nov 30, 2004 04:02 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

i could understand why you'd be upset if you're going to be missing out on her events. i would just bring up this point with her and ask if she wouldn't mind doing it after....i'm sure she'd understand your reasons! plus if she's just 'toying with the idea' it probably won't happen once she realizes how much planning is involved!

FTRBRIDE Posted: Nov 30, 2004 06:41 PM

Re: Would you be upset..

If it makes you feel any better...

FI and I got engaged last Feb 04, and booked our wedding for sept 4, 05. A few months later my brother got enaged, and is getting married 2 months later (nov. 6). A few weeks later one of my bridesmaids got engaged, and is getting married 6 weeks after me (in NJ) (Oct. 16). We're about 98% sure my best friend is getting engaged for x-mas, and has told me she wants a Summer or Fall 05 wedding if she does. Last weekend FI's step-brother got engaged- planning a Fall 05 wedding (in CA, where her parents are from). AND my childhood best friend got engaged last weekend....we're praying she tells us it's a 2006 wedding!

Anyway, i'm not the least bit made/upset about any of it. The only thing I'm concerned about is the possibility of having to choose whose wedding to go to if they should book the same day, and spending tons and tons of money on their weddings when we're trying to save for a house.