DH and I have been secretly married for 2yrs(immediate family and the kids know)on June 2nd. We have been together for over 6yrs. Known each other for 7-8yrs. Okay, now here's why Im upset.... DH never ever buys me a gift on holidays including both wedding anniversaries. I have tried talking to him about it and always get the same answer, 'Well I didnt think we could afford it'! Okay so my thing is if you can afford to go out to dinner numerous times during the year and go on vacation twice a year then why cant you put alittle bit away throughout the year to show me you've thought of me. I do every year and I make nothing compared to him. My gifts may not always be extravigant but I will also get him alittle something from the kids. It has gotten to the point that I have even told him that my birthday is coming, our anniversary is coming, etc, etc. and I hope that we wont have a repeat of last holiday and he tells me, Dont worry about it I got it covered and then the holiday comes and nothing just the same old excuse so now I get furious because he doesnt even get me anything small from the kids on my birthday or at christmas. When we were dating he used to come home with just because gifts. Im at a loss but he is about to have one lonely Fathers Day!! It truly does hurt my feelings though. Thanks for letting me vent***My birthday was 4 days after our anniversary and I figured after telling him yet again on our anniversary how I felt I would atleast get something for my birthday but NO, so it's been festering for abit and I finally felt like I had to explode because my coworker wanted to know what me and the kids were doing for him for fathers day!
Espo22
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yes i would be upset too...It doesn't have to be something big, i mean even a card to show hey i remembered this day, flowers, a little something or taking you out to dinner
nifheim
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yea that sounds like an icky situation. My fh gives me presents but typically silly toys or candy which i don't get why he gives me after i tell him i don't like this stuff. It is one of our big stinky points in our relationship. I am not a present whore but i rather someone spend the same amount of money on one nice thing then give me 2 dvd's and 20 var. 99 cent crap.
You will have to evaluate if this is a breaker for you. Its not going to get any better most of the time as the relationship moves on in time the more people tend not to care about presents or cards so being that is the case for you now it might move to something else that he will drop the ball on.
meggles808
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I would be upset too! At least a card would be nice!
giannismomma05
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You have ever right to be upset .. Thats not right even if its the littliest thing it would mean something to you. he really needs to think of that . My fh never forgets a hoilday and even ifs its little or the biggest thing its a special time i feel bad for you and i hope things change .
cherish83
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Re: Would you be upset...
Id be upset at the fact that he cant do a lil something. It so happens that around every one of my birthdays or christmas, FH loses his job or something happens. So i never really get a gift. But it doesnt really bother me because he's made me gifts and bought me cards. Its all about the thought, not the actual gift, IMO.
LoveRocks
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I would be upset too. It doens't take a lot of money to acknowledge a special day and esp. since he knows how much it means to you. Personally, I would write him a letter explaining how it makes you feel.
LuckyMe
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Ya know maybe your right. Maybe putting it down on a piece of paper it might sink in more. He has bought me cards but I think there should be just a small something else and the cards are bought after he see's someone else buy me one, all of the sudden he has to run to the store.
DnellD809
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aww I would be a little upset too...I mean even flowers which don't cost much just show..hey, I'm acknowledging the day! Some boys just DON'T thinK!!!!
bemyyoko
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i would be upset too. my fiance actually bought my annisversary gift with spare change he'd been saving all year. It's the thought that counts, and while it doesnt have to be something big, i totally understand wanting the acknowledgment. i don't think it's materialistic or anything like that. your feelings are totally valid.
florezpeeps
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Please DON'T buy him a gift for the next umteenth holidays!...something tells me that he will be upset when he tastes his own bad medicine, he has been spoiled regardless of the size of your gifts.. I am not saying to change your detail oriented nature, but put it on hold for a few to see how he feels
ourday08
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Yeah, I can understand why you would be upset. Trying sitting him down and REALLY talking to him about it!
dancinmyazoff
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Awwww I'm sorry to hear that. I would honestly not buy him anything for this fathers day (just a card) and see if he makes any comments. Or maybe he will just realize. It's kind of spiteful but sometimes you need to be harsh lol
LuckyMe
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Thanks Girls!! Just another example last night he was looking up Limos to go look at (for the wedding)and he found one that did Stadium Tours(Yankee Stadium and dinner) and was so excited because he wanted to do it. If I had said oh that's great lets go he would've booked it. Can you imagine all I kept thinking about was,'HELLO LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND BEFORE THAT OUR ANNIVERSARY AND YOU COULDNT AFFORD A GIFT REMEMBER BUT AGAIN THIS WE CAN, ENOUGH TO ENTERTAIN THE IDEA! ' Im having a real hard time not reminding the kids about fathers day and having the little ones make him something but Im determined to let the holiday just pass as well as his birthday in Dec.(I know it's a ways away but Im hoping I have enough strength to do it )Thanks Again for listening girls.
MrsD71208
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I would be upset and I'd talk to him about it. Maybe telling him it hurts your feelings would work. If not, ask for $$$ and tell him you'll go shopping! lol That'll get him to buy something.
KarinAmanda
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i can understand both points of view - i know that I would deff be upset, maybe a little bit let down. its not the money or the gift - but the thought
jgl
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it would bother me a lot. Its not about the gift its about the thought. when they get you something, no matter how small, it makes you feel that you are loved. FH will always buy me a random card because it has a squirrel on it (we have an ongoing joke about them) and it just makes me feel happy that I know he was thinking about me. so to not get anything like you havent.. it must be a terrible feeling.
honestly im not a tit for tat person but maybe he needs a taste of his own medicine. I wouldnt get him anything and see how he reacts. I know guys are different in these situations but maybe he will understand how that feels.
like I said, im not the type to do things like that, so if you dont do that than you need to sit down and have another talk about this.. being very clear about how that makes you feel
GL
ItalianBride428
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Re: Would you be upset...
i would be upset as well....but perhaps you need to talk to him about it. Guys sometimes ( not that I am making excuses) really have no idea that it bothers you. Perhaps you can work out something? Like pic an extra special holiday and save for one gift a year if he is concerned about the money....HTH.
LuckyMe
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Believe me I wouldnt be so upset if it wasnt for the fact that I have been talking to him, screaming at him and finally just getting so pissed that I dont speak to him for days. Then like I said my birthday was the 6th our anniversary was the 2nd both of this month and you get me nothing for either. You know I said something when I didnt get anything for my anniversary and then 4days later you still get me nothing that's basically telling me you dont give a cr**. Also like I said before the babies were born he would come home with random I remembered you mention this or I saw this and it reminded me of you type gifts. I dont know if he'd even care if the kids didnt get him anything on fathers day. He has bought me cards before but like after everyone else has given me a card he has to run out all of the sudden and then I get a card and that is always supposed to be good enough.
Espo22
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Re: Would you be upset...
Posted by LuckyMe
Believe me I wouldnt be so upset if it wasnt for the fact that I have been talking to him, screaming at him and finally just getting so pissed that I dont speak to him for days. Then like I said my birthday was the 6th our anniversary was the 2nd both of this month and you get me nothing for either. You know I said something when I didnt get anything for my anniversary and then 4days later you still get me nothing that's basically telling me you dont give a cr**. Also like I said before the babies were born he would come home with random I remembered you mention this or I saw this and it reminded me of you type gifts. I dont know if he'd even care if the kids didnt get him anything on fathers day. He has bought me cards before but like after everyone else has given me a card he has to run out all of the sudden and then I get a card and that is always supposed to be good enough.
well if he doesn't want to get you anything for special occasions, then maybe hold out on things for him
