A pretty close friend from work (socialize alone outside of work many times, went to Fire Island together) knowingly will miss your wedding b/c she booked a vacation the weekend of your wedding. FH says who cares, but it upsets me that someone I thought was a friend (even if we started out as co-workers 2.5 yrs ago) would do that. I just rather not have anything really to do w/her other than work from now on. Since everyone here is either a bride-to-be or a recent one, I'd love your thoughts. TIA!
jcreilly
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Re: Would you be upset?
Dont worry about it we have to rememeber that our guest have other things going that maybe the best time for her to go away it, as long as she was not in your bridal party dont worry about it not ever one can always make it.
Future Mrs Roo
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Re: Would you be upset?
maybe she didnt think she was going to be invited?
Nina1010
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Re: Would you be upset?
Don't forget she did it. Be civil, but don't be as close. you save money on her plate...I wouldn't send her an invite either. I would send it to your boss and whoever else in the office you plan to invite. If she confronts you...tell her I knew you made other plans, even though you knew about the wedding, so why waste an paper? And then walk away. Be indifferent though. It can be a very sticky situation at work.
I'm starting a new job next Wed...and I don't plan on inviting everyone...just my boss. We'll see if I stick with this plan though.
sykogodezz
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Re: Would you be upset?
I dunno, maybe its just me but I dont think I could be mad at someone for not being able to go to my wedding. If it was immediate family or a really really close friend thats one thing but other than that, whatever. Sometimes people have other things to do and there is no reason to be mad about it. To be so hateful over it is unnecessary in my opinion.
SummerBride10
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Re: Would you be upset?
It is upsetting that she would do that. If she feels that her vacation is more important than your wedding, you dont need her there anyway!
JAAMS
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Re: Would you be upset?
I would be upset too, but I would ask her about it and see if there is some sort of logical explanation. And if there's no logical explanation, I agree with the girls who said it's not worth it anyway. You want the people who are there to be people who truly care!
If it makes you feel any better, I had 'friends' who didn't even say CONGRATULATIONS when FH and I got engaged! People are so rude.
Hope it all works out!
RockysGirl
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Re: Would you be upset?
yeah I understand you being a little hurt by that. I would be. I have a friend (who also used to be my co-worker) that came to my wedding. She didn't make it to my Bridal Shower though, even tho she had RSVP'd YES to my MOH. So that made me a little nervous that she wouldn't show up to the reception either (she did tho, just FYI). Now, the shower I wasn't so upset about but I could see myself feeling hurt if she made other plans on the week of my wedding. Kind of an icky situation. But it of course depends on WHAT her other plans are. Like just vacation, or is she visiting OOT family? Maybe it's a family member's birthday or anniversary which she just can't miss. She could have a legit reason, but I completely understand you being upset about it.
sophisticat13
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Re: Would you be upset?
Posted by jsha20
A pretty close friend from work (socialize alone outside of work many times, went to Fire Island together) knowingly will miss your wedding b/c she booked a vacation the weekend of your wedding. FH says who cares, but it upsets me that someone I thought was a friend (even if we started out as co-workers 2.5 yrs ago) would do that. I just rather not have anything really to do w/her other than work from now on. Since everyone here is either a bride-to-be or a recent one, I'd love your thoughts. TIA!
I would be upset also...unfortunately one thing I learned is that other ppl don't always take our wedding day as seriously as we do. There were some ppl who didn't even say congrats when we got engaged...during the wedding planning I def learned who was a real friend and who was not. I woud try to let it go if you can, but I also woudn't go out of my way for her. The ppl that are there on your day are the ones that you will remember for years to come and you never know, you might change jobs and never see her again someday
lizzie217
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Re: Would you be upset?
I think the fact the she did not acknowledge it would be very upsetting, I mean I could understand if her DH (or who ever she was traveling with had this time off to go away and they wanted to go) but she should have said something to you 'Like I am so upset were going to miss your wedding but DH has to use these days so were going away' or something like that.
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: Would you be upset?
the same thing happened to me. A good friend who I spend a lot of tiem with outside of work booked a trip to vegas. It really upset met at first but ir ealized i can't expect people to stop their lives for our weddig.. try not to let it get toyou!
sykogodezz
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Re: Would you be upset?
I guess Im out of the norm but I dont feel like she owes an explanation at all. Only if the invites were sent out and she RSVP'd yes. Other than that, I dont think there is any need for her to have to explain herself.
MJDoc12
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Re: Would you be upset?
Posted by sykogodezz
I guess Im out of the norm but I dont feel like she owes an explanation at all. Only if the invites were sent out and she RSVP'd yes. Other than that, I dont think there is any need for her to have to explain herself.
ditto
just try and remember--its hard when you're in the thick of it -- your wedding is not as important to everyone else as it is to you.
like someone else said, perhaps the person she's going with on vacation could only get that time off...and she had to jump at it. perhaps she didn't say anything to you cause she knew you'd be upset and didn't want to bring it up. but i don't think she needed to come to you and explain herself or apologize......remember its your wedding not hers. she shouldn't have to come run a vacation by you or anything--its her life.
obviously you are hurt cause she didn't say something--but like i said, she likely knew you'd be upset and didn't want any confrontation about it. for people on this thread to say she's a selfish jerk and you should now limit your friendship with her---well that's just harsh IMO. she is likely not doing it to be malicious at all. i wouldn't just end a friendship or distance myself because of that. but that's just me.
