Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
nrvbrd
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Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
I ask this question because:
My DH had developed a great friendship with this guy he was so cool. However the guy's wife does not like me or my husband(long story). So the wife pretty much gave the guy an ultimatum. So now my hubby and the guy do not speak.
I personally think that the guys could have continued their friendship, however we the wives would not have been included which would be fine with me.
Would you do this to your husband? Normally I would say no, but in the past I have to put my foot down when it came to my hubby's female friends who were disrespectful, but other than that I would NOT tell my DH that he could not be friends with someone.
ILT1221
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
I would say no. I would only intervene if something really bad happened and the friendship wasn't healthy (for lack of a better word). I wouldn't just say to hubby don't talk to this person if there wasn't a strong or valid reason.
Samanthas Mom
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
I would never, either would DH he may tell me he doesnt like when I talk to someone but he would never say you cant be friends w/ them
Latina511
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
NEVER!!! Enzo has told me before I don't like that person too much but has never said anything else.
Jordan
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
Neither myself nor Chris would ever tell the other who we could and couldn't be friends with. We may express our opinions on someone...but never would I say - you can't be friends with him/her - and vice verse.
AtticaQT
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
I havent told FH that - came very close to once (this girl (friend of FH not mine) told FH that she saw me out with another guy - meanwhile she didnt even come up to me and say hi - turns out I was out wiht my brother and his girlfriend - who she actually knows!! ) -
I've made it very clear that I dont like her - and left it up to FH on whether he still wants to be friends with her -
avesur
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
No, no, no! I would hate if he asks me to stop talking or seeing one of my friends, so I would never ask him to break his friendship with someone else!
Xelindrya
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
The best man in our wedding is my FH's best friend of all time. Going way back.
Personally I think he's an egotisical, whining, useless, stuck up, self-righteous idiot. Thinks he's all that and newsflash he ain't nothing.
I am willing to get along with ANYONE (other than my mother & stepmother) so I kept my thoughts to myself. But finally got tired of him dissing my father and my father's career in the Navy. There's only so much a Daddy's girl can take.
I told him flat out to keep his opinions about that to himself. I made it clear it was thin ice with me and that as a friend of my FH I'll put up with a lot, but not that. So we let it pass. We agree to disagree and no further discussion is allowed on it.
Still think he gets 'going' when he starts talking, but *sigh* my FH idolizes this guy. Who am I to come between them. FH knows how I feel, but knows I'll sacrifice putting up with the man to make my FH happy.
The things we do.... heh
jannshari
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
I would never tell him that he can or cannot be friends with anyone, but I am also not shy about telling him how I feel about people. The bottom line is that if I'm not comfortable around someone that he's friends with, I'll let him know and he won't force me to be in a situation that I don't want to be in, and vice versa. It does make it difficult sometimes when one of us is making plans with someone the other doesn't care for, because then one of us is bound to be uncomfortabe - either because we'll go along to be supportive of the other or because we'll have to go on our own, knowing why the other is not there. This is not a common occurrence at all, but when it does come up, it stinks. But again, neither of us would ever tell the other who to be friends with, unless it became seriously detrimental to the health or safety of either or both of us.
trixie
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
Posted by nrvbrd
Normally I would say no, but in the past I have to put my foot down when it came to my hubby's female friends who were disrespectful, but other than that I would NOT tell my DH that he could not be friends with someone.
thats the only time... and it has happened mainly with some exes. With FH there is only a friend of a friend who is disrespectful and grabs any mans 'member' (including FH)... so he's not allowed within arms reach of her!!! LOL
But to not be friends with a guy just because I didn't like them!!! thats some nerve! FH wouldn't even stand for that! (so this guy has no balls huh?)
nrvbrd
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
Trixie, this guy has no balls, exactly.
He is the non confrontional type and he does not like to make waves with the wife no matter how strongly he feels about something.
prncssrachel
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
NO. Definitely not. And the only time I ALMOST asked him to, was when he was still friends with his ex girlfriend. But then she had the balls to tell JT's bestfriend that she was SURE that his relationship with me wouldn't last and that him and her would be back together soon. JT promptly told her to get lost when he heard that. Someone taught him well
ChristineC68
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
No and nor would he ask me to do that. If we had friends that the other disliked, we would either suck it up if it wasn't true animosity. See them alone and not subject each other to people they don't like.
trixie
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
FH has friends I don't exactly care for... but I suck it up and deal with it. the only time i would get nasty with them is if they get nasty with me (happened only a couple times). But you figure you only have to spend a short amount of time with them. (in our case anyway... since no one lives near enough to us to see all the time)
btrflygrl
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Re: Would you ever tell your mate that he cannot be friends with someone or vice versa?
I don't think I'd ever do this (I did do it in the past as a teenager...didn't work well-learned my lesson). The only time a person would bother me, I'd tell FH and hopefully we could come to a resolution.
