Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
suven
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Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
I'm in quite a sticky situation. Stupid Rutgers Law did not accept me. (I have my BA and Master's from Rutgers).
So far, the only school I got accepted to is 125 miles away from our new home. We've talked about me either quitting my job and driving to school and back everyday.
Or, I'd still have to quit my job, but I could stay in a dorm during the week and come home on the weekend.
My mom is freaking out, saying this is a horrible thing to do during a new marriage. But, if I skip law school, I'll never be happy with myself and my marriage would probably fail anyway.
Fi doesn't seem to care what I do, as long as I go to law school. But, he says that now- I still live with him. I don't think he'd feel the same way once I really moved away.
Moving is not an option for him...
sophie78
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
I would definitely try re-applying next year. I would not want to put so much strain on a marriage during the first year.
NYCHICK
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
ooooooooh that is a tuffie..........I really couldn't say which one, I see your mom's point but i absolutely believe in pursuing your dreams............... to you
eta - couldn't you just reapply later...lol........what am470 said
luvsun27
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
Posted by am470
I would definitely try re-applying next year. I would not want to put so much strain on a marriage during the first year.
I agree. Aren't there any other law schools you can apply to? In Manhattan...or somewhere closer to your new home? Maybe take a year off...work FT and apply for next year? What does FH think about you living away from home during your first year of marriage???
gaby25
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
I am so sorry to hear that!!!!! I didn't get into one of the law schools I applied to either. I don't want to move away so I never even applied to an out-of-state school. I am staying local for now. Was Rutgers the only local school you applied to? This is a real hard situation. I am sorry I can't offer you any 'real' advice but whatever you decide don't give up on your career. I am sure something will come up and things will be better.
Donna
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
I agree with the ladies. Apply again next year to a closer school or even to Rutgers again. I don't think newlyweds should live apart unless they absolutely have to, but you have a choice in this matter.
fallinlove04
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
I would try to reapply next year. maybe there are some other schools you could try as well. it took me a long time to get into the program that i am in now, but i was persistent. i think that there is a good chance it would put a big strain on the both of you. i'm not saying not do do it, but maybe just wait a little. will rutgers let you take some classes or do you need to be fully matriculated?
steph4777
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
So sorry you have to make a decision like that. Is there any way you can apply next year or to another school nearby?
My FH is in law school, but part-time. Knowing how his schedule can be, I can tell you that it will definitely put a strain on your relationship. Luckily, I am getting my MBA so we spend a lot of time in the library together. Otherwise, we wouldn't really spend time together.
The reason why I say this is that right now it seems like coming home every weekend is possible, but it's not. You will have sooooo much studying to do. The first year will definitely be the toughest bc you will be trying to get used to the riggers of law school - cuz it ain't no joke.
I just say that you really need to prepare yourself for the reality that you won't have time to spend as much time with each other as you would like. As long as you are mindful of that anything is possible
Good Luck
Bebalina
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
i say if FH can support u, quit ur job, and commute back and forth everyday if u really want to do this...but living in a dorm as a newlywed...just doesnt sound rite to me...
Pookiesangel
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
Posted by am470
I would definitely try re-applying next year. I would not want to put so much strain on a marriage during the first year.
I agree
ssdare
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
I'm in kind of a similar situation. My husband is changing his career track and is applying to a very specific Master's program and only applying to certian top programs - one of them being in San Francisco which so far is the only one he's been accepted at. We're still waiting for a couple more local schools. The Master's program in SF is 3 semesters (1 1/2 years). So it may be likely that we will be bi-coastal while he does this program. I have a very good job here in NY so it's not practical for me to move to SF as my husband plans to come back to NYC to work after the program. It's definitely not ideal but I think we will work through it.
125 miles is not that far away. First year of law school is the toughest (I am an attorney) so I wouldn't recommend commuting during the week. You should also make sure that your fiance is agreeable to come visit you at school too. You shouldn't have the sole burden to keep the relationship strong through visits. You could also considering transfering after the first year to a school that's closer. Another thought is that you wait to apply again for next year.
As long as you two are committed, have the maturity to understand each other's needs and maintain focus on your career goals, I think you can make it work.
aliciahelene
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
I went to Rutgers too!! I like the idea of reapplying next year..I was told that the law school wants alot pf experience on yoru resume before they will accept you, so try again and then make your big decision, it is ALOT of pressure on a new marriage..but I do understand that this is something you need to do. Im working ona 64 credit master's ( family Therapy and addictions counseling) and have been interested in Play therapy, of course the instititue is out of Dallas, I would loove to go and get certified and bring it here for my practice, but it would mean being away for awhile..so Ill wait and see if I cant find another program closer for me to do a post masters in, so i know what ya mean, its a dream and a great goal, dont give up on it, but a new year of marriage is incredibly vulnerable and it would be hard on you both. Im not saying it couldnt work, but it would be hard. Have you asked what they look for in order to get accepted? ..maybe you can do the things they look for, get them on yoru resume and reapply and get accepted! I did have afriend a few years ago apply, didnt get accepted, and a few years later reapplied. Hes n Florida now, never went! Good luck in yoru decision!!
xjulietx
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
I think you should reapply next year. I don't think the first year of marriage should have any added stress. My FH was going to go for a fulltime MBA program, but he didn't get in. I hate to say it, but I was relieved when it happened because I was dreading being the breadwinner and not having him around much...
Wait a year. You'll be more stable in your marriage and have a better chance of getting in.
patti08
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
If you live on LI or in the area there are a ton of good law schools nearby. I agree with the other girls who said to re-apply for next year.
I think a separation like that is a very difficult way to start a marriage. (Especially with the stress of Law School)
Good luck, no matter what you decide it's not an easy decesion.
Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
absense makes the heart grow fonder, you are both adults who will visit weekends whenever possible, Lenny (my FH) is away all the time, (USMC) and we do just fine, yea there are lots of tear filled goodbyes and sad nights in between visits but the visits are awesome and its possible, if law school is your dream you have to do it.
Have you applied to Hofstra Law or Turro Law or any other Law schools closer by?
Bride626
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
I really think it is a bad idea. I am a lawyer and know the pressure and time constraints that law students, especially 1st years, face. What other schools did you apply to? RU is becoming increasingly more competitive but there are so many schools in the area.
Also, while I am glad I make a lawyer's salary, it is a really tough lifestyle and I cannot definitively say that I would go to law school had I known 6 years ago what I know today. So, be absolutely sure you want to work like a maniac before you make the final decision and commitment.
Good Luck!!
Annieb
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
I am an attorney, and I can tell you that during the three years I was in law school, even though I was local, time was tight alot of the time.
I think a very important question to ask yourself is how important is this in your life. Is this school worth it? What school is it? Often, if it is not a top law school, it is harder to get a job from an out of state school. It may not be worth it to go there if you won't be able to find a decent job here when you come back. It may be better for you career wise to wait it out, take the lsats again or do whatever it takes to get into a school here. I have friends that went to not so great schools out of state and, now, after $100,000+ they are not making anymore than they were before.
JMO but, I wouldn't think it was work being away if you ended up right where you started.
JP&EP
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
Have you truly exhausted all of your law school options in your home area? Hopefully you can still get into one that doesn't involve a separation.
Good luck on this one, It must be tough.
bridzilla
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
I have a friend who has been married a little over a year, and now her husband is in B-school in MASS. They visit eachother on weekends, and it is woring very well for them. I considered doing a year away in Paris for school, but that would have been crazy. Good Luck, I know this is a hard decision for you to make.
MegLehner
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Re: Would you move away from your husband to pursue a degree in another state 2 months after your wedding?
Going home on the weekends during your first year of law school will not happen (that is if you want to get good grades). First year of LS is so time consuming that you will probably be disappointed about the little time you will be spending with FH. Also transferring after 1st year is harder than applying in the first place. Why cant FH relocate? (its only 3 years) FH followed me to Indiana - Where I am a 2nd year law school student at Indiana University School of Law. IMO I would go even it FH couldnt - you have to be happy in order to have a happy marriage.
