Would you rather have a house, or be a stay at home Mom?

For my husband and I we chose a house first and then we will have children. Basically, he and I both grew up in houses (him in the suburbs and me in Queens) and we would like our children to grow up with enough space and the environment of the suburbs. We both hate city living so we decided to purchase while the rates are low.

eta: I am not sure if I will be able to be a SAHM or not.....if anything, I think I will have to work part time!

It's a shame that it has to be a choice between the 2 options now....

This is really a decision between you and your hubby. I got pregnant a month after buying our house and we were really nervous but now I am happy b/c a baby comes with a lot of stuff!!! We are using the big den as the baby's room right now and its completely full!

But this is really up to you b/c I know that I will not be able to stay home past my maternity leave. I know someone who grew up with a SAHM in an apartment and grew up very well adjusted and happy but he always wanted a backyard. It's really a toss up.

DH and I bought our home last year and now I'm pregnant. I will be a SAHM mom b/c that is how I grew up and I know that my parents sacrificed so much so my mom could stay home. My mom's parents were and still are a godsend - they are the most giving people in the world and I know that my parents and DH's parents will take care of us so that I can stay home.

Growing up I don't remember any vacations - we didn't have the money but I do remember my mom ALWAYS being there and that to me is more important. I don't need a fancy car or the latest gadgets and my kids sure as heck don't need a million toys and designer clothingto be happy and well adjusted. They need parents and love and attention.

Is it going to be tough with just FH working - you bet it is but I don't want someone other than myself and hubby raising my kids. If I need to work I'll find something at night and I don't care if its retail making $200 a week. I just want to be home and give my kids all the wonderful things my mom gave myself and my brother.

---

Posted by Sassyz75

I pick stay at home mom.

I lived in a 1 bedroom apartment with my mother (she had the livingroom, me the bedroom) my entire life. It wasn't until she remarried when I was 21 did she get a house.

And you know what- it was a FABULOUS childhood- b/c I was with my mom all the time.. we didn't NEED quality time, b/c we were together all the time... and I have to say, I think that's why i'm so well adjusted, compared to a lot of my friend's whose parents worked like dogs to give them material things but were never around...

Time is the best investment in a child's future, not a house, and nothing monetary...

---

I couldn't agree more!!!! AMEN!!!

just wanted to say that i grew up (still live) in a home in the suburbs, going on a lot of vacations. and yes, we loved being able to play in our backyard and swim in our pool AND have my mom home with us (she worked @ our school, so it was perfect, she did it so she could be home whenever we were) but these days, it's unfortunate that in most cases, both can't happen---SAHM & own a house. BUT if I had to go back and pick whether I wanted to still have the big backyard, pool, vacations OR have my mom home with us in an apartment or some kind of rent situation, i'd pick RENT situation. i feel extremely blessed to say that i can't remember a time my mom (or dad for that matter) weren't there for me or my brother. i wouldn't trade any size house for all those great summer days when my mom would pack us up with all our gear and our friends and cousins or go to the beach or the park or the movies. In fact, I was just talking to my mom about this the other day, i was saying how much i miss those days of just getting out of school, being so carefree and knowing my mom's sole purpose in life was to keep my brother and i entertained for 3 months until school started again!

As a new mom and a homeowner I would definitely choose being a mom. However, believe it or not I'm currently a SAHM and I miss working and I plan to go back to work part time (2 days) in January.
I grew up in apartment and never had a problem or any issues living in an apartment. I guess it depends what 's important to you and your husband. On the flip side I can't imagine living in an apartment with a baby, especially once he starts walking\ running. Just b\c I wouldn't want to limit my child playing because of fear of disturbing the neighbors.

I don't think there is anything wrong with growing up living in an apartment. My family lived in one and we never thought it was unfair.

We had friends that lived in the building so we had people to play with on rainy days. We had wonderful open house parties with our neighbors coming in and out of our place or their place.

There was sense of community that I have never recaptured since.

I would choose the house. I always tell people my parents taught me so much financially. One of those lessons was buy a house as soon as possible. We have been in our house a year and now so many of our friends are on the market and can't afford a thing.

As I always say renting is not a waste but its basically helping someone else buy their home. If my funds go towards any home it has to be my own.

Edited to add my parents owned the home I grew up in which was a four apt house. We lived in one of the apts and my parents rented out the other 3 apts. You don't need to buy a mansion. There are so many options. Condos, coops, townhouses, two family homes.

Look into everything before you give up.