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Would you return the bling?????

HopelessRomantic Posted:

Would you return the bling?????

X

schnookie56 Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

yes. I dont care what other people say but legally it should go back. An engagement ring is considered a conditional gift, the condition being the marriage.

Unless of course you bought your own engagement ring..then it should be yours to keep.

I never did understand why girls who were no longer with their (ex)fiance wanted to keep the ring..

this is just my opinion...
RFutureBegins2day Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????



I had this discussion with some people the other day. My answer was that it really all depends on the situation.

For example, if FH did something horrid to me causing the break up, I don't think I would want the ring because of the constant reminder. I would give it back.

However, some women said they would keep it as a gift for putting up with the crap.

This is a tough one. Did he ask for it back? Do you wanna give it back? I'm sorry you are going through this.
soontobmrsmike Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

delete

soontobmrsmike Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

i guess it depends on your situation. I do not think my FH would want it back truthfully if god forbid anything were to happen.. but legally i do not know the laws behind it.

Sorry you even have to go through all of this,..
CantWaitMrsH Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

legally ... if the female breaks off the engagement the ring is to go back. if the male breaks off the engagement the ring does not.

there are always stipulations especially if it was mutually bought.

there are cases all the time in small claims court. just awful! sorry you are going through this!
Im getting Married Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

I took a class years ago run by a NYC lawyer. If I remember correctly if the woman ends the engagement she must (by law) return the ring. If the man ends it she is entitled to keep it.

I know there were different circumstances that went along with this but that was the general answer.

ETA: I didn't answer your original question. If it was me who broke it off I would give it back. If he did it than I would probably give it back.
Chanwich Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

I'd 'keep' it if he ended it.....and then turn around and sell the thing!

If I ended it I'd give it back, that just doesn't seem right.
smashingsiren Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

Posted by schnookie56

yes. I dont care what other people say but legally it should go back. An engagement ring is considered a conditional gift, the condition being the marriage.

Unless of course you bought your own engagement ring..then it should be yours to keep.

I never did understand why girls who were no longer with their (ex)fiance wanted to keep the ring..

this is just my opinion...


ITA

In my case, the ring is a family heirloom from his father's family. It would be absolutely ridiculous and cruel for me to keep....he put it into a new setting for me (because the last one was very big/50's art deco and I have little hands- 4.25 ring size), so I think it would be very sad to see that setting as a reminder of where we were in our lives and what we lost. I love that I feel my ring has extra special meaning, being an heirloom. However, even if it was one he bought brand new for me, I couldn't (and wouldn't want to) keep it. I would want to put it back into his possession before he ever even had a chance to ask for it.


Edit: I guess there must be situations where the guy is a complete, unbelievable jerkface, in which case I would understand the girl wanting to keep and sell the ring (that he bought...not an heirloom) for $$$...but I would hope that would be rare... :/
LaBellaVita622 Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

I think I would..I would feel bad to keep it but that's just me I always feel guilty for everything..lol

wenR Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

Hypothetically speaking If i ended the engagement I would give it back, if he did I would sell the ring.
SquareandPea Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

You can not start a marriage with a negative attitude. The stress just escalates once you are married and things will and do get worse. If you have any bit of uncertainty, I think you should delay your wedding and try to work things out or let it go. Divorce is TERRIBLE and very very expensive and a LONG/painful process. I have many friends who have been through it and it is absolutely awful.
spdy540 Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

When my ex fiance mother called off the engagement the ring went back to that idiot. Only because the law in ny for today ( it changes almost yearly) is that it is aconditional gift unless it as given for a birthday Christmas gift but if he let's u keep it then that's up to you. My current fiance said he would let the girl keep it.

miamimerger Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

i think i'd give it back unless there was an extreme circumstance. i think the only way i'd feel comfortable keeping it is if we were already married--after that, you can do what you want with it. everyone is different though, so don't take what i would personally do to heart!
rpdixygrl Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

100% yes.

Even if he chaeted.

Even if he was in Jail.

Even..anything.

Beside the fact that its his family heirloom I would want nothing of his promise he made to me and breached.

Even if we just grew apart. Yes. 100% yes.
halfbaked Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

Yeah, I wouldn't feel right keeping it and I wouldn't want the constant reminder.

Soon2BMrsJoeBear Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

Posted by schnookie56

yes. I dont care what other people say but legally it should go back. An engagement ring is considered a conditional gift, the condition being the marriage.

Unless of course you bought your own engagement ring..then it should be yours to keep.

I never did understand why girls who were no longer with their (ex)fiance wanted to keep the ring..

this is just my opinion...


Yea, I've heard this too... that the e-ring is his until you get married... then it's yours. Not sure if that's true, but that's what i heard...
spdy540 Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

Posted by Soon2BMrsJoeBear

Posted by schnookie56

yes. I dont care what other people say but legally it should go back. An engagement ring is considered a conditional gift, the condition being the marriage.

Unless of course you bought your own engagement ring..then it should be yours to keep.

I never did understand why girls who were no longer with their (ex)fiance wanted to keep the ring..

this is just my opinion...


Yea, I've heard this too... that the e-ring is his until you get married... then it's yours. Not sure if that's true, but that's what i heard...


IT'S true my engagement was called of 7/9/08 and attorneys got involved bc I work at a law firm to get some money back but the engagement ring was his because I didn't receive it as a birthday/ Christmas gift and I didn't put money on it. I would have sold the ring otherwise because his mother called the wedding off not him and u wanted some of my money back
Ivansgirl Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

Before I met my amazing DH I was previously engaged and return the ring. after calling it off the ring meant nothing to me and I want that reminder and negative energy away from me.

April_Luv Posted:

Re: Would you return the bling?????

I would return it. If i dont want him, i dont want his ring... i'd move on....

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