Would you return the bling?????

I ended an engagement. I gave him back his ring. I wanted nothing to do with him, or anything that reminded me of him. yuck.
Sorry that you are dealing with this, I know how bad it hurts. I really do.

I would sell it

If I ended it, definitely return the ring. If he ended it, I'd most likely return it too unless:

-He cheated or did other douchey things I wasn't aware of. Then I'd sell the ring and probably whatever else of his he had lying around!

In all seriousness, if the break up was amicable, I'd give it back. It feels wrong not to.

Been there - done that and I returned the ring.

After all, when it's all said and done it's a symbol - nothing more nothing less. I broke off the engagement and gave him back the ring - but even if he had done it, I still would have given it back.

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Posted by jetersgirl216

I would sell it

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I had a very bad breakup and I honestly don;t remember who actually said the words to break it up. But he put me through h*ll...absolute h*ll. I kept it on the advice of everyone I asked, and I sold it. I was a wreck and he cheated too (I am almost sure). If that's wrong, then so be it. I made the decision that was right for me at the time.

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Posted by mybabylovesmoi

If I ended it, definitely return the ring. If he ended it, I'd most likely return it too unless:

-He cheated or did other douchey things I wasn't aware of. Then I'd sell the ring and probably whatever else of his he had lying around!

In all seriousness, if the break up was amicable, I'd give it back. It feels wrong not to.

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ITA!

Mine was a christmas present....looks like that sucker is mine :)

I actually went through this before......I did not want the ring but i ended up keeping it as randsom lol until he sued me for it

By law if you dont get married you have to return the ring to him (stupid law)

I had to give the ring back (which i didn't care bc i didn't want it neway) but through the lawsuit I was able to get some (not all) of the money he borrowed from me and that I put down on the wedding

in the state of New York, by law, the ring must be returned since it is considered a breach of contract because the contract was not fulfilled. I.E.the wedding never took place and that is the whole point of the engagement.
trust me, my last engagement was canceled and i work for an attorney who does this for a living. i had to give the ring back, not that i wanted it at that point anyway.

the only way you can keep the ring inthe state of New York is if he gave it to you as a present like on a holiday. so if he gave it to your on christmas, or your birthday, it doesn't qualify as breachof contract since it was a gift.
and made up holidays don't count, like april fools and nurse's day, lol

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Posted by CantWaitMrsH

legally ... if the female breaks off the engagement the ring is to go back. if the male breaks off the engagement the ring does not.

there are always stipulations especially if it was mutually bought.

there are cases all the time in small claims court. just awful! sorry you are going through this!

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that is NOT TRUE.....doesnt matter who breaks it off.....legally it has to go back to guy

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Posted by NellieBellie32

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Posted by CantWaitMrsH

legally ... if the female breaks off the engagement the ring is to go back. if the male breaks off the engagement the ring does not.

there are always stipulations especially if it was mutually bought.

there are cases all the time in small claims court. just awful! sorry you are going through this!

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that is NOT TRUE.....doesnt matter who breaks it off.....legally it has to go back to guy

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Yes, that's true, the ring is not considered a gift, unless it was given on Christmas or something. In NY state, the ring is the property of the person who bought it, usually the man, and is supposed to be returned if the marriage doesn't happen, regardless who called it off. In my opinion, it is a stupid law.
I know, I went through this last year. My FH called off the wedding 12 days before we were to be married last September. I still have the ring. No, I don't want a remembrance, and of course I can never wear it again, but it was an expensive ring and the day might come when I might need the money. In my case, he called off the wedding with no reason. He was the most wonderful guy and treated me like a queen. His mother was a huge problem. He still want give me a reason, so I feel like that ring is mine for all the sh#t he put me through b/c he couldn't stand up to mommy.

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Posted by MrsBlueRibbon

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Posted by NellieBellie32

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Posted by CantWaitMrsH

legally ... if the female breaks off the engagement the ring is to go back. if the male breaks off the engagement the ring does not.

there are always stipulations especially if it was mutually bought.

there are cases all the time in small claims court. just awful! sorry you are going through this!

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that is NOT TRUE.....doesnt matter who breaks it off.....legally it has to go back to guy

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Yes, that's true, the ring is not considered a gift, unless it was given on Christmas or something. In NY state, the ring is the property of the person who bought it, usually the man, and is supposed to be returned if the marriage doesn't happen, regardless who called it off. In my opinion, it is a stupid law.
I know, I went through this last year. My FH called off the wedding 12 days before we were to be married last September. I still have the ring. No, I don't want a remembrance, and of course I can never wear it again, but it was an expensive ring and the day might come when I might need the money. In my case, he called off the wedding with no reason. He was the most wonderful guy and treated me like a queen. His mother was a huge problem. He still want give me a reason, so I feel like that ring is mine for all the sh#t he put me through b/c he couldn't stand up to mommy.

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I wouldn't rely on the ring for too much money...you'll probably only get about 1/10th of what it was originally worth.

As to the OP...I would keep it. I would want a reminder of my past mistakes so I would know not to make them again. I kept and continued to wear a ring my ex boyfriend had given me until DH gave me one to replace it (not my ering)...I knew I could let go of it because I had learned from my past mistakes and had found DH

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Posted by SquareandPea

You can not start a marriage with a negative attitude. The stress just escalates once you are married and things will and do get worse. If you have any bit of uncertainty, I think you should delay your wedding and try to work things out or let it go. Divorce is TERRIBLE and very very expensive and a LONG/painful process. I have many friends who have been through it and it is absolutely awful.

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Well said. I think I am just surrounded by so much of negative energy - but you are 100% right.

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Posted by MikesBride2B

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Posted by MrsBlueRibbon

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Posted by NellieBellie32

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Posted by CantWaitMrsH

legally ... if the female breaks off the engagement the ring is to go back. if the male breaks off the engagement the ring does not.

there are always stipulations especially if it was mutually bought.

there are cases all the time in small claims court. just awful! sorry you are going through this!

---

that is NOT TRUE.....doesnt matter who breaks it off.....legally it has to go back to guy

---

Yes, that's true, the ring is not considered a gift, unless it was given on Christmas or something. In NY state, the ring is the property of the person who bought it, usually the man, and is supposed to be returned if the marriage doesn't happen, regardless who called it off. In my opinion, it is a stupid law.
I know, I went through this last year. My FH called off the wedding 12 days before we were to be married last September. I still have the ring. No, I don't want a remembrance, and of course I can never wear it again, but it was an expensive ring and the day might come when I might need the money. In my case, he called off the wedding with no reason. He was the most wonderful guy and treated me like a queen. His mother was a huge problem. He still want give me a reason, so I feel like that ring is mine for all the sh#t he put me through b/c he couldn't stand up to mommy.

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I wouldn't rely on the ring for too much money...you'll probably only get about 1/10th of what it was originally worth.

As to the OP...I would keep it. I would want a reminder of my past mistakes so I would know not to make them again. I kept and continued to wear a ring my ex boyfriend had given me until DH gave me one to replace it (not my ering)...I knew I could let go of it because I had learned from my past mistakes and had found DH

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Thats deep! Congrats btw!