Would You Still Marry FH

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Posted by jteach711

Sweetie, marriage is in sickness and in health. If there really is something wrong, I am sure your fh would rather be nowhere else than by your side helping you fight to get healthy.

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Just that phrase, 'in sickness and in health' gets me all emotional. And jteach, your post got me all choked up.

I hope whatever it is that is 'bad' that the neurologist has found is able to be treated and you will be ok. And just think that your FH is marrying you because he loves you for who you are. Illness is never easy and I'm sure your mind is spinning right now. My advice would be to be completely honest with your FH and tell him everything that your docs said, if you haven't already. Explain what it means, do a lot of research, ask a million questions and don't stop until you get your answers, and allow FH to help you rather than push him away. If I'm reading you correctly from the bit of information you posted, it sounds like you would want to protect him from heartache as you go through this illness.

As for my FH, there's no doubt in my mind that if anything happened to me, FH would be right there by my side. I told him on our 2nd date that I'm a childhood cancer survivor and that I have medical issues that trace back to my treatments. I got it all out in the open right away, was very honest, answered any questions he had, and it actually brought us closer.

FH knows all of this and loves me for who I am. I could still get sick again at any time, or have certain organ systems fail me from treatments I had long before I knew FH, and yet he's marrying me, going into this knowing all of this. Marriage means being there for each other through everything, good and bad. I'd take one thing at a time and let him help you through this. I pray that everything is ok for you. Please let us know how you're doing.

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Posted by CC11208

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Posted by jteach711

Sweetie, marriage is in sickness and in health. If there really is something wrong, I am sure your fh would rather be nowhere else than by your side helping you fight to get healthy.

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Just that phrase, 'in sickness and in health' gets me all emotional. And jteach, your post got me all choked up.

I hope whatever it is that is 'bad' that the neurologist has found is able to be treated and you will be ok. And just think that your FH is marrying you because he loves you for who you are. Illness is never easy and I'm sure your mind is spinning right now. My advice would be to be completely honest with your FH and tell him everything that your docs said, if you haven't already. Explain what it means, do a lot of research, ask a million questions and don't stop until you get your answers, and allow FH to help you rather than push him away. If I'm reading you correctly from the bit of information you posted, it sounds like you would want to protect him from heartache as you go through this illness.

As for my FH, there's no doubt in my mind that if anything happened to me, FH would be right there by my side. I told him on our 2nd date that I'm a childhood cancer survivor and that I have medical issues that trace back to my treatments. I got it all out in the open right away, was very honest, answered any questions he had, and it actually brought us closer.

FH knows all of this and loves me for who I am. I could still get sick again at any time, or have certain organ systems fail me from treatments I had long before I knew FH, and yet he's marrying me, going into this knowing all of this. Marriage means being there for each other through everything, good and bad. I'd take one thing at a time and let him help you through this. I pray that everything is ok for you. Please let us know how you're doing.

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That's beautiful too & almost made me cry. so true

I wish you the best

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Posted by Celest

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Posted by CC11208

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Posted by jteach711

Sweetie, marriage is in sickness and in health. If there really is something wrong, I am sure your fh would rather be nowhere else than by your side helping you fight to get healthy.

---

Just that phrase, 'in sickness and in health' gets me all emotional. And jteach, your post got me all choked up.

I hope whatever it is that is 'bad' that the neurologist has found is able to be treated and you will be ok. And just think that your FH is marrying you because he loves you for who you are. Illness is never easy and I'm sure your mind is spinning right now. My advice would be to be completely honest with your FH and tell him everything that your docs said, if you haven't already. Explain what it means, do a lot of research, ask a million questions and don't stop until you get your answers, and allow FH to help you rather than push him away. If I'm reading you correctly from the bit of information you posted, it sounds like you would want to protect him from heartache as you go through this illness.

As for my FH, there's no doubt in my mind that if anything happened to me, FH would be right there by my side. I told him on our 2nd date that I'm a childhood cancer survivor and that I have medical issues that trace back to my treatments. I got it all out in the open right away, was very honest, answered any questions he had, and it actually brought us closer.

FH knows all of this and loves me for who I am. I could still get sick again at any time, or have certain organ systems fail me from treatments I had long before I knew FH, and yet he's marrying me, going into this knowing all of this. Marriage means being there for each other through everything, good and bad. I'd take one thing at a time and let him help you through this. I pray that everything is ok for you. Please let us know how you're doing.

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That's beautiful too & almost made me cry. so true

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so after that nothing i say is going to compare. and i totally agree im sure he loves you and theres a reason your getting married.. hes going to want to be there with you thought sickness or health so dont push him away embrase that he will want to go though this with you!

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Posted by jteach711

Sweetie, marriage is in sickness and in health. If there really is something wrong, I am sure your fh would rather be nowhere else than by your side helping you fight to get healthy.

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That is a perfect way to put it.

Just think if the roles were reversed, you would want to be by your FH's side and still marry him right.

I hope everything turns out OK

Thank you all for your comments. I'm just very nervous, and I don't want to mess up his life having a sick wife. There is just so much going on in the next few months, and now this. I'm in a cast and I went to the neurologist to find out why I am not healing and then I get this situation. It's just pretty damn scary, and he is not here . He moved to PA IN Nov and I am here working and doing all the wedding planning. It's just a lot.

But I appreciate everyone's good wishes.

Thanks
Alyssa

i cant imagine how much stress your under and the fact that hes not here right now to support you im sure is very hard, but talk to him and try not to push him away, he loves you and im sure wants nothing but the best for you! I hope everything works out for the best! keep us posted and if theres anything we/ i can do please let us know!

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Posted by bonbabs

Thank you all for your comments. I'm just very nervous, and I don't want to mess up his life having a sick wife. There is just so much going on in the next few months, and now this. I'm in a cast and I went to the neurologist to find out why I am not healing and then I get this situation. It's just pretty damn scary, and he is not here . He moved to PA IN Nov and I am here working and doing all the wedding planning. It's just a lot.

But I appreciate everyone's good wishes.

Thanks
Alyssa

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I don't think it would mess up his life - he loves you and wants to marry you! I had major major health problems in the beginning of our relationship (the first year we were dating I was constantly in stomach pain, hugely bloated, etc and it culminated in my appendix RUPTURING and my being diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, a chronic gastro-intestinal illness). Luckily I didn't know about the appendix until after I was out of surgery. I expected him to run but he stood by me through all of it. He's been amazing when I'm not feeling well and it really showed me what a good person he is.

I hope everything is OK -- you can FM me if you want to talk more.

FH helped me get through cancer and we dont know if it will come back, but he proposed to me and I know he will be with me through sickness and in health.

Dont worry about it.

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Posted by bonbabs

Thank you all for your comments. I'm just very nervous, and I don't want to mess up his life having a sick wife. There is just so much going on in the next few months, and now this. I'm in a cast and I went to the neurologist to find out why I am not healing and then I get this situation. It's just pretty damn scary, and he is not here . He moved to PA IN Nov and I am here working and doing all the wedding planning. It's just a lot.

But I appreciate everyone's good wishes.

Thanks
Alyssa

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Prayers and hugs for you, Alyssa. Mary MOB

i would still marry him, sickness and in health, that shouldnt change his mind about marrying you either, obviously he loves you so much or he would not have asked you to be his wife.....i hope everything turns out ok with you and your wedding, but something like that would definately make me want to marry him even more....especially if he is the one i want as my rock.....gl with everything

Alyssa just get as much information from the Doctors to educate yourself on whats going on. Please tell FH everything and I'm sure he will be supportive and loving right through your wedding day and many years beyond. I will keep you in my prayers

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Posted by mjay

IM NOT REALLY GETTING THIS QUESTIONS,, WHAT KIND OF SICK ARE U REFERING TOO???>?

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if you read a few posts up she said it...


I would think that he woudl want to be with you now more than ever in your time of need. I would never be able to not have him in my life, especially if I needed some suport and comfort... Your in my thoughts