I've posted about this ex before. He's engaged but overseas right now. He's contact me (through facebook primarily w/a phone call here and there) numerous times after i've told him not to. Everytime he does stuff about our past comes up and afterwards I ALWAYS feel like crap. I refuse to change my # during wedding planning and I don't even answer the phone when his area code comes up (his # is deleted). The last time he friend requested me he called me and told me to deny it cuz his fiance would be mad he's talking to me b/c of everything I did to him . Well, he friend requested me again, then took it back and said he thought it would be ok his fiance called him and was very angry.
Now i'm very angry. So my question to you. Would you want to know if your FH was contact his ex constantly? a BIG part of me wants to tell her. 2 things will happen.. a. she'll know who she's marrying, b. hopefully that'll give him a kick in the head and he'll stop contacting me and making me feel like cr@p. If i just tell him to stop I know he won't. He knows my cell #, my personal email (which i've had since 9th grade), and who knows what else.
SerenityEthereal
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
I would want to know. FH and I have a really great relationship and make jokes about my ex that even still, constantly hits on me lol. But at the same time, I may go crazy and choke a beetch if she was saying stuff that got him upset. Dang pregnancy hormones!! lol i would block his email, block his FB and MS if he or you have one, and then after wedding stuff is over (or even before) block his number if possible.
I personally wouldn't tell her Does your FH know about this?
ETA: How is that he makes u feel like crap exactly?
DnT2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
i personally wouldnt tell her. i would block him on facebook, not answer his calls and not respond to his emails. eventually it will stop. let her make her own mistakes. as long as your FH knows what is going on and you are open with him i dont see a need for it to go any further.
you know how it will end... YOU will end up being the bad guy. just like when a guy cheats.. the girl always gets mad at the other girl..
DWKSwed
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
I would threaten to tell his fiancee if he doesn't stop contacting you. Then after that you can make your decision based on whether or not he stops. Or you could always get FH on the phone with him too if he won't listen to you.
BriansWifey
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
i would definitly want to know if FH was contacting an ex! especially if it was secrative, thats not cool. its seems suspicious from my point of view. but obviously in ur case ure definilty not into him and he's just a weird, obsessive guy. i say tell her! hopefully thatll be the kick in the A s s he needs.. gl.
JillandJoe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
I would want to know....there is no reason to contact ex's..jmo
joctorre
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
If his fiance is already getting upset, she's not going to appreciate your telling her about it. She's going to take it the wrong way and maybe even tell him 'she's not over' and all that mess....
Obviously you want to get him to stop, but I think you just have to block him from everything. Why does she know that he friend requested you anyway? Did you accept it? Block him, you definitely don't need him on fb. But telling her is getting involved in their relationship, and that can't come across the way you want it to... no matter what. It's not like she's a good friend of yours and you're protecting her.
I would want to know in a way, but not from an ex of his... esp one I don't want him being fb friends with...
GL. Let us know what you decide....
Clover23
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
I would want to know, but I wouldn't suggest that you be the one to tell her...
MikesBride2B
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
Put FH on the phone with him the next time he calls. That's what I'd do...I don't know if your FH is like mine, but mine is very sweet and caring until you back me against the wall...then his claws come out.
runnerbride1023
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
honestly, I wouldn't get involved. Its not your place to tell her, and she probably wouldn't believe that he is calling you and would accuse you of stalking him.
I know FH's ex calls him randomly (and got engaged a month after we did) and he lets me know that she calls most of the time, and other times I just have a 'feeling' and ask if he's heard from her, and he says yes. It doesnt totally bother me b/c i know she is calling him and he isn't interested. Point is - make sure your FH knows the situation, b/c you don't want him to get upset in the long run.
jcreilly
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
I would want to know if it where my fh! BUT I would not tell her, honestly just ignore him and its best not to get involved with anyone else relationship unless you where really close to her!
Jna2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
id want to know if fh's ex was contacting him.... but i wouldnt tell my ex's fiance anything the last thing you want to do is get involved in someone elses drama, i would stay far away... if he doesnt stop calling you let you fh answer next time and if it still continues its time for a restraining order
soontobecruz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
I wouldn't tell her. I mean I know it is tempting bc then MAYBE it would stop but dont get involved in them. It's her issue if she already knows and chooses to deal with it. Block him on FB and don't respond to anything. If anything Threaten to tell her but I wouldn't in the long run. Or like other's have said put Steve on the phone with him
FutureMrsKuehne
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
I'd tell her!!
Because he is harrassing you!! Call him out on it!
If it were one phone call 'hey how you been?' then NO of course dont tell her
but this is nuts now he needs to leave u alone...and its not like u'd be trying to ruin a relationship, you would just be telling her 'Hey, we're both getting married, it's time he forgets trying to get in touch with me....MOVE ON!' ur not gonna call and say 'UR FIANCES IN LOVE WITH ME HAHA' u know what i mean?
so its not like you'd be hurting her, if she gets upset, which she may, all the more reason for her to know! she can address it with him and hopefully you won't be harrassed anymore!
OMG if that was my ex, he wouldnt have the chance for me to tell his fiance, cuz FH woulda knocked his teeth out already!! LOL
AdriandSteve
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
Yeah.. FH knows about all of this. He hates the guy but my ex also hasn't lived in NY since we broke up (he's in the military) so what's he gonna do. I don't live with FH so whenever my ex calls he's never around. It's just weird, like.. my bf from hs is in N.C. for vet school and they ran into each other. All of a sudden I see him being 'friends' with her and her little brother and leaving messages on her facebook wall. She doesn't respond. Then he tells me, 'yeah.. if i wasn't engaged I'd get with her. I have no obligation to you anymore.' It's like really, why are you telling me this? And he sends random msg's to my sister who doesn't wanna bother with him either!
ugh
FutureMrsKuehne
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
well i know most people disagree in telling his fiance....but hes friggenWACKED! he needs to leave all u innocent bystanders alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
craziness....u gotta go something I think...you definitely can start by not answering ANYTHING of any sort from him, and tell ur sister not to either
MrsC2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
Posted by Clover23
I would want to know, but I wouldn't suggest that you be the one to tell her...
ITA...
brittndave
Posted:
Member since
Re: Would you want to know?
i would want to know, but don't you think she already does if he said she got mad at him for fbing you? i wouldn't tell her yet though, i'd threaten to tell her and see if that gets him to leave you alone first!
