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WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

Original post by LuvMyAlfonse

So everyone kept telling me (and us 08 brides who got engaged 06 or sooner) that our long engagement would fly.

Well, it hasn't for me. And I'm mad that I booked everything so quickly. I had all my major vendors booked within 5 months of our engagement.

I feel like the long engagement made me more stressed - I was pulling my hair out for the 9 months - thinking of DIYs, thinking I needed so many little things, thinking how I needed to get vendors booked right away b/c all the good ones would be taken and now I realize it was bull b/c there are SO MANY good vendors, you know?

So anyway my vent is - especially after reading the married brides advice and regrets - is that the little things that usually cause the most stress don't really matter. And MOST of my stress is wedding related and it's unimportant in the grand scheme of things. It won't matter if my flowers are wrong, or if it rains, or if my DJ plays a 'do not play' song, what matters is that Alfonse and I are getting married, starting a new chapter.

And I'm done with thinking about 'we do' letters and cry packs and customized aisle runners and slipper baskets.

Sorry for the long vent, I just needed to get that out. And forget telling friends or family, they're like, whatever Jenn.

So thanks ladies. For being here.
LuvMyAlfonse Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

Posted by cherish83

Jenn I have been feeling the SAME way!! By the time Brian and I get married, our engagement will almost be 3 years. And like you, I swore I need to book when I did because they wouldn't be available if I waited any longer. For example, I 'NEEDED' to have Velvet Studios. Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets in booking them and am happy I did, but if I waited and didnt, there would've been TP, Blue Daisy, and so many others I could've chosen from.

I love LIW and you girls, but I think its the site that gets us all caught up in the lil things. I love some of the lil things other brides are doing and told FH we NEED to do it too, but we REALLY dont

When we all start to get stressed out about weather and songs and guest lists, I think we all need to think about the man we're marrying and the life that will follow.


Yes Megan - EXACTLY!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!
cherish83 Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

Posted by cherish83

Jenn I have been feeling the SAME way!! By the time Brian and I get married, our engagement will almost be 3 years. And like you, I swore I need to book when I did because they wouldn't be available if I waited any longer. For example, I 'NEEDED' to have Velvet Studios. Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets in booking them and am happy I did, but if I waited and didnt, there would've been TP, Blue Daisy, and so many others I could've chosen from.

I love LIW and you girls, but I think its the site that gets us all caught up in the lil things. I love some of the lil things other brides are doing and told FH we NEED to do it too, but we REALLY dont

When we all start to get stressed out about weather and songs and guest lists, I think we all need to think about the man we're marrying and the life that will follow.


Yes Megan - EXACTLY!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!


No problem. I just started realizing this. I know there is a certain time frame that you probably have to order your dress, but I'm not looking foward to getting it yet because after that, there isn't anything else, that too me, makes a big difference anymore.
ant n tilde Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

i am just getting to responding to this now but i read it earlier and i was thinking about it all day

my engagement will be two years and i am totally over it! unlike you though, i am glad that i booked early bc i am so totally over it

i joke around all the time with FH if i had to book vendors N O W - we would be driving to the wedding, taking pictures on our digital camera and singing karaoke to our guests - bc i dont feel like doing ANYTHING

i have a few little things left to do and i am trying to hard to finish them before i completely lose all hope

so for you!
Chrissywish Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

Oh Jenn....i feel the same way. Although I haven't booked all of my vendors yet, I had so many things on my list of 'must do's.'

Now...I need the basics (which aren't even technically basics because those are just me, mikey, a liscence, and someone to marry us) and everything else I can do beyond that that is not ridiculous I will try to do!!!!
nifheim Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

Your vent is the major reason I keep saying things to girls who were later on in the 08 year and they were in a panic and it was only March of this year. You need to be pacing yourself. You don't need to order everything or do tuxes more then a year in advance - its honestly silly because as I am suffering from I can't do anything more until Dec/Jan anyway. I have to wait to do this and wait to do that - its stupid. If I just paced myself things would of been in little spits and spats so that I didn't seemed strung out.

Yea on the DYI and everything. Yea I am doing stuff but I am not doing it at 100% of what I know I could do. My stuff is not costing more then $350 and that includes my invites. I am a graphic designer I should pick expensive paper and exotic inks and sparkly crap to put on it but you know what - PEOPLE DON'T CARE!!!!!

Care about you and fh as a couple - f the damn party aspect.. that is what I am at now. I just want to send the invites out and get stuff done and have the day here all ready so I can settle into my role officially as wife and that is that
jgl Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

So everyone kept telling me (and us 08 brides who got engaged 06 or sooner) that our long engagement would fly.

Well, it hasn't for me. And I'm mad that I booked everything so quickly. I had all my major vendors booked within 5 months of our engagement.

I feel like the long engagement made me more stressed - I was pulling my hair out for the 9 months - thinking of DIYs, thinking I needed so many little things, thinking how I needed to get vendors booked right away b/c all the good ones would be taken and now I realize it was bull b/c there are SO MANY good vendors, you know?

So anyway my vent is - especially after reading the married brides advice and regrets - is that the little things that usually cause the most stress don't really matter. And MOST of my stress is wedding related and it's unimportant in the grand scheme of things. It won't matter if my flowers are wrong, or if it rains, or if my DJ plays a 'do not play' song, what matters is that Alfonse and I are getting married, starting a new chapter.

And I'm done with thinking about 'we do' letters and cry packs and customized aisle runners and slipper baskets.

Sorry for the long vent, I just needed to get that out. And forget telling friends or family, they're like, whatever Jenn.

So thanks ladies. For being here.


I hear ya!! Although FH and I are taking our time getting stuff done I agree that I dont think all those little things are going to matter - I really dont think MOST people notice them - I know I don't and its not going to affect how great my day is and it just stresses us out.
LJ2008 Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

i know its frustrating, at one point we were getting annoyed that no one wanted to help us. But you know you spend all this time and money making sure things go right and it all flies by, all of us have one thing to look forward to the one day we get to the be the princess and we embark on a new life with our new husbands! So dont stress it good luck with everything!

Mrs. V 2008 Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

thats soo true jenn! i honestly at this point don't care if anything goes wrong at the wedding, what matters most is that im marrying the person i love the most in this world!

JavyL008 Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

This is so nice to hear as I have been engaged for a month and am marrying in October of '08 and all I hear is how quick I need to book vendors and I'm so overwhelmed to get something wrong...I feel like any day/night I'm no researching or scheduling is hurting my wedding....and you are all right it's really just about getting married and living happily ever after
Princess Cut Bride Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

That is sooo true...the most important part is that you are marrying the man you love!!!

Soon2beAlberti Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

YEAH!!!

thats how I'm feeling right now. Why tf am i spending a years salary to get married? I'm so sick of keeping up with the joneses. I'm so sick of the whole 'Imagine your dream wedding with...' bs. I just want to marry Joe...I wanna be able to get pregnant without worrying that I'm not married and what will his parents think. I want to start the next chapter and promise myself to him forever. Thats about it. all that other stuff is fluff. do i want a good dj? sure! beautiful pictures would be nice too...but it pisses me off how us NY brides get raped with wedding markups...makes me wanna cheap out and DIY the whole thing.
Teamhurldon Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

this is why ive only done llike one thing a month and still have soooo much to do with 191 days left.... j/k its only because i dont have enough money to plan everything all at once I hear ya tho, dont even get me goin on cry packs yadda yadda, im not gonna assume anyone besides me (im a huge sap) will be in need of a cry pack at my wedding.... hmmmm is there a 'laugh pack' i want people to laugh.... whoopie cushions for everyone!
Future Mulligan Posted:

Re: WR vent! Sooo long, get a coffee and pull up a chair.

i see what you mean....FH and I got engaged in July 07 and we booked JT in August.....then we booked our photographer Angelica Glass and our DJ a few weeks later.....that is ALL we are doing for now! I feel like our wedding is so far away (December 08) and i don't want to book everything and ruin it for myself.....i rather wait until it gets a little closer to the wedding to start booking things like the officiant, and the florist, the limos, find my dress, etc. I feel like if I did all those things now I'd have nothing to look foward too.....i want to be able to do it slowly and enjoy it all :)

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