Well excuse me for venting .... to all the girls who understand and have been there (i read your posts and fm's...) Thank you You know what this board is about.
to the rest who have resorted to name calling .. i am sorry if thats what it takes makes you feel superior??(if thats your goal)
I was just being honest- shame on you for being nasty
LisaT
Posted:
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Re: Help.. Big problem & need answers
this isn't going to be what you want to hear...
but did you just invite them for the $$? You chose to have an expensive engagement party - that was YOUR choice, and its not your guests responsibility to pay for it. This is your engagement, NOT your wedding. What did you expect for gifts?
You should invite people you WANT at your wedding based on your relationship with them. NOT because of what kind of gift they can give.
peabody
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Re: Help.. Big problem & need answers
I totally agree with Lisa T.
I am sorry, but the whole reason you had an eparty was to celebrate your engagement, not make $$. You chose to have an expensive eparty.
Did you register? Some people would rather give a gift rather than $$.
We went to a eparty about a year ago and then the wedding and they did not register, basically they wanted $$.
Personally, I like giving a gift at the eparty and money for the wedding. I don't like feeling I have to give $$.
Yes you can not expect this. You may be really pissed at your wedding then
I had a few couples not cover their plate at my wedding, but I was glad they came.
jpdagame
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Re: Help.. Big problem & need answers
That is a ridiculous amount of $$$ to spend on an engagement party. How can you expect these people to give you that much money for your engage. party and than also have to buy gifts for the showere and the wedding?? JMO-You're being selfish!!
jpdagame
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Re: Help.. Big problem & need answers
it shouldn't be about the money and if that's what its all about, then you're the one thats not a good friend!!!!!!! Some people dont even pay that much pp for their wedding!!!!!!!!
holly231
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Re: Help.. Big problem & need answers
we got some really generaous money gifts at our e-party, as well as some less generous ones...and a lot of gifts that we registered for..whether it was a $50 gift or $20 gift...a gifts a gift...and we registered for it...we also had ours in a private room of a restaurnat...to me, it was just a party...etiquette and all taht other stuff did not come into play because it was just a fun party...to celebrate our engagement!
Well if you feel that you should not invite them at all, then you are going to take the chance of ruining whatever relationship you may have with them. And by you not inviting them then it is not about the relationship, it is completely about the money. If you are okay with taking a chance with the gifts then go ahead and invite them. maybe not everyone had the money? maybe they were just strapped financially that week? does it make them horrible? it is quite possible that the wedding will be nothing like that. There was one person that showed up to my bridal shower and did not give me a gift. And my mother told me that bridal shower was pretty expensive per person. I was not mad. I think it is not very classy or appropriate to show up without a gift. but it is not the end of the world. That is not all it is about. I just let it roll off my back and forgot about it. I had a wonderful time and enjoyed everything and appreciated everything despite that one person. i am sure you did too at the engagement party.
MindyL28
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Re: Help.. Big problem & need answers
I don't mean to be rude but is this a serious post?
I'm sorry- I'm just confused- guests are supposed to give the couple cash to cover their plate at an engagement party? I've just never heard of that before in my life... Most people give a gift if they want to give anything- In my experience, not everyone even gives an engagement gift so to expect a certain amount is strange- don't you think? I agree with the above comment- it was your choice to throw an expensive party, not their's. So, if you wanted to throw that type of party, you shouldn't have expected them to pay for their share.
Most people have an engagement party to celebrate their engagement- not to make money- no matter how much the party costs. We had a more imtimate enagement party- the purpose was not to get gifts. We thanked those that gave us gifts and didn't think twice about those that didn't give us anything. That's not what it was about.
Maybe you should rethink your expectations of your friends and family. If this is seriously a problem for you, then maybe you should indicate how much you expect per person if they come to your wedding. That's completely outrageous but it will certainly get the message across what you expect.
peabody
Posted:
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Re: Help.. Big problem & need answers
I think you need to re-read the threads, I never called you spoiled. I wouldn't do that. Someone else called you spoiled.
hmmm maybe i am just upset for now, we did have an amazing time and everyone was really happy for us. It was just those few that were a bit of a disapointment~ ah i guess you cant be happy 24/7.. with everything and everyone...
swags1016
Posted:
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Re: Help.. Big problem & need answers
I hope you are not expecting wedding gifts to cover the cost of the wedding. You will be lucky if you make back half.
I understand your shock, but that is done. I agree with SP04. If you are all about the money then don't invite them. But if you understand that a wedding as well as an engagement party is a party celebrating your love then have them. I look back on the people that were there and I am grateful and happy that they were there. I only remember what two people gave because they were exquisite gifts. I couldn't tell you what everyone else gave because it doesn't matter!! Weddings are about celebrating your love.
I don't think you can really not invite people to the wedding who were at your engagement party - thjat was done to me (after I had bought a really nice engagement present for the couple) and I thought it was really tasteless that I was suddenly not good enough for the wedding. I am having my engagement party this Sunday and if I get great gifts - wonderful - but the point is celebrating my engagement with family and friends. I don't think any of us can assume other's financial situations - and if someone gives a small present or money amount - you should be happy that they were at least there to celebrate with you! JMO...
Yeah it was just the heat of the moment, i am going to have them at my wedding, i would rather them be there anyway now that i really think about it...the bottom line is that i know that they love us and are happy for us.... Up to this point i have to thank GOD that we have been so blessed, i really can not complain... the e party was awesome and everything went smoothly..i am just lacking sleep......
I cant hurt anyones feelings and not invite them over a stupid thing like this their friendship really is more valuable to me.
JZNCK
Posted:
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Re: Help.. Big problem & need answers
Hey Million04, It's ok, you were venting, it's very hard to spend SO MUCH $$$$$$$ it's stressful and you might say things you don't mean... These boards are for VENTING.i did hear that your not expected to give gifts at an engagement party... so maybe people weren't sure.. Lets all make-up we're here FOR EACHOTHER!!!!!!!!!!
