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Re: Has anyone kicked out a deadbeat BM?

I think you should give her a deadline and make it VERY clear that if she doesn't take care of the dress by that date than she can not be in your BP. I know it's too late now, but for future reference, don't ask people to be part of important events simply because you feel obligated or 'it's the right thing to do.' I had my DH's sister in my BP, but I didn't ask his brother's FW. She and I are not friends and I didn't want to give her an honor she didn't deserve.

Re: Has anyone kicked out a deadbeat BM?

I wanted to kick out DH's cousin because she is a witch with a capital B, (and she set us up that is the only reason she was in the bp) but she had a fight with the rest of the bm's and my moh before I got to, she stepped out! Thank god!

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I backed out of a bride's wedding

We hadn't spoken since high school and the reason we weren't friends was because she stopped hanging out/calling, etc. once her boyfriend (now husband) came around and told her she basically wasn't allowed to have any friends anymore. Anyway, she asked me to be in it, I said yes because I thought maybe we could rekindle the friendship and for about a year straight we still never spoke. I couldn't stand it anymore, and I couldn't afford it, so I ended up backing out. I figured it wasn't right. SHe should have people that she is super close with around her for this special day. To this day, I've only heard from her once.... choose carefully!

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Re: Has anyone kicked out a deadbeat BM?

Definitely tell her that she has to order, cause she is holding up all the other girls and their dresses. I kinda agree with the deadline...dont know if i would have the heart to kick her out though (if i knew she was like this i probalby wouldnt have asked her to be in it in the first place...i hate people who are always late and cant get anything done on time or break promises!!)

Re: Has anyone kicked out a deadbeat BM?

Don't depend on your FH or his brother to handle this for you. I know it may be akward, but you really need to call her tonight. Let he know that the finalized order is going in on Friday because you want to make sure there's plantey of time for laterations when the dresses come in. Tell her you would love her to be part of your day (even though we all know that's not true) but given she is the last BM to take care of the dress you really can't continue waiting on her. Then the ball is in her court. You're being completely up front about the situation and she would have no right to say anything about not being in the BP if she doesn't hold up her end of the deal. I would wait until Friday and then be done with it.

Re: Has anyone kicked out a deadbeat BM?

It sounds like you'll be happier if she isn't involved in your wedding.

Why don't you call her and ask if she ordered the dress yet, when she says no try to make it seem like you are doing her a favor by saving her from all the wedding party duties. Tell her that you know she is busy with her family and kids and you don't want to put more on her plate and since she hasn't ordered the dress yet its obvious that she doesn't have time to be part of the wedding. Tell her that you know the shower and bachelorette party plannng will be even more time consuming than getting the dress so you are going to let her drop out....

Make it seem like its her idea so in the future you can avoid any type of family tension or drama surrounding 'you kicking her out.'

Good Luck!

Re: Has anyone kicked out a deadbeat BM?

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Posted by SeptemberBride03

It sounds like you'll be happier if she isn't involved in your wedding.

Why don't you call her and ask if she ordered the dress yet, when she says no try to make it seem like you are doing her a favor by saving her from all the wedding party duties. Tell her that you know she is busy with her family and kids and you don't want to put more on her plate and since she hasn't ordered the dress yet its obvious that she doesn't have time to be part of the wedding. Tell her that you know the shower and bachelorette party plannng will be even more time consuming than getting the dress so you are going to let her drop out....

Make it seem like its her idea so in the future you can avoid any type of family tension or drama surrounding 'you kicking her out.'



Good Luck!

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ditto..kill her with niceness

Re: Has anyone kicked out a deadbeat BM?

DROP HER!!

Re: Has anyone kicked out a deadbeat BM?

can you ask her if she's still interested in being in the BP? Let her know that if she's really not into it, you wouldn't be offended if she backed out. i've seen situations like this which ended sourly but could've been avoided if the two girls had communicated. i've been a BM ten times. i got out of two BP's b/c i knew i couldn't make the committment and yes, i am still friends with the two girls. they understood that it was too much for me and preferred that we remained friends instead of ruining the friendship over a lack of participation as a BM. try talking to her.

Re: Has anyone kicked out a deadbeat BM?

I have!!!!!!

Re: Has anyone kicked out a deadbeat BM?

I had no choice I had to kick her out. Right before I had my engagement party I told my close friend that I went to high school w/ I wanted her to be in the bridal party. Well for the past 11 months I've been having these second thoughts. First I heard she was saying these petty things behind my back.(which I know are true) Then she made some comments to me that I didn't like. But most of I went out with her and her boyfriend to have drinks. Well to make a long story short they both got drunk got into a fight. She left him and started walking to another bar. Yelling and screaming making a hug scene, I was trying to tell her calm down it will be ok and she was going nuts screaming and yelling a cursing at ME and other friends. She was also making derogatory comments to people walking by.
I was so embarrassed and upset should would talk to me that way or even others.
So I ended up having to ride home w/ other friends that were thankfully there. Also this isn't the first time she's acted this way when drinking. I haven't and refuse to speak to her. It seems like she has no class. her out.

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Re: Has anyone kicked out a deadbeat BM?

So what do you do if you're the MOH and are having problems with the bride? I know she is lying/telling stories behind my back. I've even confronted her about it and she denied it. Then a few days after I tried to talk to her, she goes and tells other people that I was wrong for saying anything in the first place and has every right to kick me out! I've known her for a long time, but this is getting out of hand. I'm really at my wits end and ready to drop if she doesn't get her act together pronto.

Re: Has anyone kicked out a deadbeat BM?

Hello FriendofBride.... go a few posts up and see what I did... I backed out. So can you! You don't have to put up with people's crap.