XOXO

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Posted by boobobunny

I have a cousin who is the same way...so my grandmother set up an account for her son... when ever he has a birthday or a holiday comes up we all deposit money into that account....in which my cousin has no access to. When she needs something for the baby one of us gets the $$ from the account, purchases what she needs...take the item out of its packaging and rip up the reciept...so she can't return it for the cash to buy something for herself.

its sad that we have to go to such measures...but unfortunalty it takes all kinds to make the world go round

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Posted by Janice

DH's 25 yr old sister is a horror. She has a check bouncing problem, DH got her a job where he worked and she got fired for stealing, she is a liar and manipulator, and she is now mother to our newest nephew.
It was a planned pregnancy with a 41 yr old, father of 6, guy she worked with. He is not married, and many of the children are from different women.

Since this girl was 18, I have pleaded with ILs to get her into therapy, that she is not right, those people are in denial.

Fast Foward a few months(they live in FL) and they get evicted from their apartment(at the time she was 7 months preggo) and the father of the baby sells her car.

SIL has a tatoo on her wrist that says not afraid to ask for everything. It makes me sick.

So, FIL gives her money to put down on a new place. She moves. She calls me to tell me that they do not have a carseat, and are concerned with how they will be able to leave hospital. So against DH's wishes, I go and buy her a carseat. I bought a cheap one, then felt guilty about baby's safety so I exchanged it for a 250.00 one that they can use till baby is 45 lbs.

She has the baby. Then DH and I are skiing one weekend, and I get a call that she needs 1500, they are backed on rent. I said no, DH called apartments, they are only 750 behind, so he sends check in apartments name for 750, feeling guilty that this baby can't be homeless. I know we will never see that money.

Now I hear that she is moving to MA, to live with her cousin. She isn't taking the carseat because it is too big and heavy and I should have gotten her an infant one. Now my FIL says that she wants to come see me and DH in NY so we can see baby. I don't want them in my life. I know this poor kid is going to be put through so much garbage, that I don't want to even know about it.

Should we let them visit just to see baby? I know money calls will still happen, and if we know baby how are we going to be able to say no? TIA, sorry so long

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Posted by ambersmom

[

I don't know if you are going to want to hear my opinion or not, but if I were you, I would be seeking out the advice of an attorney to see if you can get custody of this child. This child is in an unhealthy, unsafe environment.

My cousin was cut from the same cloth. She was perpetually in trouble, had a toddler she was leaving with God know's who while she did her drugs, constantly needed bailing out of one situation or another. Finally her mother had enough, got custody of the baby and cut this girl off both emotionally and financially.

If you don't take some seriously assertive action with her, she will just keep leeching off of you and this poor baby will get no benefit from any of it because she's totally self absorbed. If she's not going to do the right thing for her child now, it's never going to get better and this kid will be subjected to the sewage of the earth because water always seeks it's own level. I feel like your inlaws never did this girl justice because they could have sought intervention for her problems BEFORE this poor baby got caught up in her mess of a life. I would definitely let her come because this baby needs to know that there is someone on this earth he can count on because obviously he'll never have that stability from his mother. Good luck!!

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Posted by Janice

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Posted by ambersmom

[

I don't know if you are going to want to hear my opinion or not, but if I were you, I would be seeking out the advice of an attorney to see if you can get custody of this child. This child is in an unhealthy, unsafe environment.

My cousin was cut from the same cloth. She was perpetually in trouble, had a toddler she was leaving with God know's who while she did her drugs, constantly needed bailing out of one situation or another. Finally her mother had enough, got custody of the baby and cut this girl off both emotionally and financially.

If you don't take some seriously assertive action with her, she will just keep leeching off of you and this poor baby will get no benefit from any of it because she's totally self absorbed. If she's not going to do the right thing for her child now, it's never going to get better and this kid will be subjected to the sewage of the earth because water always seeks it's own level. I feel like your inlaws never did this girl justice because they could have sought intervention for her problems BEFORE this poor baby got caught up in her mess of a life. I would definitely let her come because this baby needs to know that there is someone on this earth he can count on because obviously he'll never have that stability from his mother. Good luck!!

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I have thought about that, but I know she will have more kids. She had unprotected sex 3 weeks after giving birth

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Posted by mark'smama

OMG it is like we have the same SIL. (or in my case FSIL).

When I met FI his mother was living with her boyfriend who had taken care of her and her kids for 20-some odd years. A year later (after we started dating) the mothers BF walked out. The mother was lost. I sat down with FI younger sister and told her 'what ever you do in life, don;t ever put yourself in the situation where you have to relay on some man'. 5 months later little sister is preggo and moves to FL with boyfriend (cause he has to leave the state) . they have a beautiful little girl. they are always moving and sometimes living in their car. A few weeks ago he walks out on his job cause she wanted to come back to NY to VISIT. They drive all the way up here with a junk car. (the timing belt was about to snap). They stay about 3 weeks (living totally off of family cause they got no $$) they leave and a few hours later the mother gets a call that the car broke down and it is going to cost $2000 to fix. and they need this $$ asap cause they have to get home. now tell me how could they have broken down and gotten an estimate on the car in the matter of a few hours? They are big time scamers.
One year she called the mother to tell her that she need $800 rent money (right before xmas) or they were going to be on street for the holidays. a few months later goes on to brag about how she bought playstaion 2 for BF for xmas.

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Posted by Janice

If she calls me for the ticket, should I still let her visit?

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Posted by Kriss2c

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Posted by Janice

If she calls me for the ticket, should I still let her visit?

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Absolutely not.

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