XOXO

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Posted by M&LSept1606

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Posted by coopersmom

What is bothering everyone about a 45 year old woman adopting a child? What about those women who have children later in life and not when they are 18?

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my thoughts exactly. My mother was 42 when I was born and my Dad 46. I am FORTUNATE because they taught me a lot about life that younger parents couldn't have taught their children.

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Do you mind me asking what things your parents taught you that younger parents cant teach their children??? I think thats a huge assumtion. I am a young parent and everyone is different. Personally I know parents of all ages and some are better then others.

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Do you mind me asking what things your parents taught you that younger parents cant teach their children??? I think thats a huge assumtion. I am a young parent and everyone is different. Personally I know parents of all ages and some are better then others.

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sure, I don't mind. I'm not trying to prove a point here just answering your question honestly. (It's a little going off tangent, but what the heck)

They taught me about 'old school' living, (they're from Italy, and went thru world war II) my Dad is over 70 now....and was a little boy, etc. I learned a lot about death too. My mom passed away over 4 years ago. So, what most people deal with when their grandparents go-I learned at 19, firsthand caring for my mother who was dieing of cancer. I learned a lot about politics from my old parents...because more young parents don't get involved with politics, some might not even know who our vice president even is. I can go on and on. But I won't, when my parents were a 'younger' older couple they were vibrant, and happy and intelligent and loving. A lot of 'younger' parents I've come across can't even offer their time because they work to support there family. My Dad was retired by the time I was 10 and it was GREAT. oh, and they had more money than the average younger parents, simply because they had worked for more years. So, we went on vacations to Europe..etc.

hope you get what I meant now. sorry so long.

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Posted by M&LSept1606

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Do you mind me asking what things your parents taught you that younger parents cant teach their children??? I think thats a huge assumtion. I am a young parent and everyone is different. Personally I know parents of all ages and some are better then others.

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sure, I don't mind. I'm not trying to prove a point here just answering your question honestly. (It's a little going off tangent, but what the heck)

They taught me about 'old school' living, (they're from Italy, and went thru world war II) my Dad is over 70 now....and was a little boy, etc. I learned a lot about death too. My mom passed away over 4 years ago. So, what most people deal with when their grandparents go-I learned at 19, firsthand caring for my mother who was dieing of cancer. I learned a lot about politics from my old parents...because more young parents don't get involved with politics, some might not even know who our vice president even is. I can go on and on. But I won't, when my parents were a 'younger' older couple they were vibrant, and happy and intelligent and loving. A lot of 'younger' parents I've come across can't even offer their time because they work to support there family. My Dad was retired by the time I was 10 and it was GREAT. oh, and they had more money than the average younger parents, simply because they had worked for more years. So, we went on vacations to Europe..etc.

hope you get what I meant now. sorry so long.

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I get what you mean I just took some offense to it. My Son gets to experiance young and loving parents. My DH earns enough money for us to live comfortably and for me to be a SAHM. He also gets everything you mentioned and then some from his still young grandparents - who also came here from Italy years ago. His grandparents are only 56 and 64 retired and have all the time in the world for him. So my son has everyting 2 fold. He gets the best of both worlds.

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Posted by WedHead

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I have read a few of her posts about her mom... and its more the mentality her mother seems to have... if she was 18 or 100 I think its more of an attention thing then a wanting to be a parent thing. Just my opinion from what I have read.

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Maxine - you're wise That is the problem. I hate to say this, but she didn't do such a great job the first time around and my fear is that she's taking on another child to fix past mistakes - but she has not attempted to fix them with us 3 yet. If she hasn't dealt with that yet, I'm sure she'll repeat the same mistakes (for example welching on her word to me).

I know it is an exciting time for her - but it's adoption - there's no reason she couldn't put it off until AFTER my wedding. There will still be kids to adopt then. And even if she does insist on starting the adoption process now, why does she have to announce it when she told me she wouldn't??

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Yes I am wise beyond my years
I don't mean to talk 'badly' about your mom I was just going by what I have read from your posts. I have also seen it a lot and as I told you about my friend Sandra... Went through that with her and saw what it did to her. Your mom actually sounds just like sandras. And I can relate b/c I have similar mom issues.
I really feel like maybe someone should suggest counseling to her before any definite decisions are made...
Does the adoption agency do that automatically?

I don't think they do that in Kazakstan

sorry I offended you. I didn't mean it to seem like having young parents stinks! just trying to say 45 isn't too old to have a baby- in some cases-
I don't know WedHead's mother obviously-but I just wanted to get my point across that it won't effect her day-or attention to the wedding.

Of course she can vent and be pissed that's what we're here for.

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Posted by M&LSept1606

sorry I offended you. I didn't mean it to seem like having young parents stinks! just trying to say 45 isn't too old to have a baby- in some cases-
I don't know WedHead's mother obviously-but I just wanted to get my point across that it won't effect her day-or attention to the wedding.

Of course she can vent and be pissed that's what we're here for.

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Its ok!
Its just a sore spot for me so I get easily offended on the subject.

I think often times young parents get a bad rap... when really anyone at any age can be a good OR bad parent.
People are just so quick to look at my and judge.... I got plenty of looks when my son was a newborn and it drove me crazy! I turned my life upside down and inside out to be the best mom I possibly can. I can actually say I think I am a better parent then my mom was to me and she was much older and more 'Ready' to be a parent then I was.

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Posted by WedHead

Another example of her selfishness that contributes to how I feel like I'm not her priority - when we were told there was a limited at the food tasting, she said, if her husband couldn't come, she wouldn't. So instead of being there for me, as MOB, she would stay at home with her husband - and he's a good guy, he would have understood it was something she should partipate in. They let us bring an extra person, but it hurt when she said that.

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OMG my mom would have done the EXACT same thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really know how that feels.

My mom will literally call me and complain she hasn't seen my son in awhile. So I tell her Ok do you want me to come over for a little while' and she'll say ' Come over around 7 when 'bob' gets home ( 'bob' being a fake name for her boyfriend)
Ummm you just complained you havent seen your grandson... instead of getting in a couple of hours of quality time in with him you have to wait for your boyfriend is around?????