XOXO

Deleting just in case - thanks for your help, ladies, I truy appreciate it

Melissa, I strongly advice that you speak to your dh and tell him what his mother said. I have to deal with fh's family and it's hard, but I just keep him in the loop. Make sure he understands that

1) you don't doubt the veracity of your friends statements for one minute

and

2) you WILL NOT let this go. you will speak to her, with or without his presence or permission.

She has been a train wreck to deal with and you should not let her think for one minute that she can malign your parents the way that she has. your parents are D's 'parents' now too, and they should be treated with NOTHING but the UTMOST respect. It's his task to make sure of that as well as yours.

I am so sorry sweetie.

I would talk to your husband about it.... Bring it up nicely, so that he doesn't get defensive- something like 'this has really been bothering me and I am not sure how to deal with it'... go from there and see what happens..

I think you need to take the info to DH and let him know how hurt and upset you are by what was said.

He should be the one to set his mother straight.

Sweets

you need to speak to your hubby first. I dont know what he will say,but he could be hurt too with you MIL and offer a good suggestion. That stinks. I am sorry. They say MILs get nuts when they are losing their sons to beautiful women. It's what I hear

You're all so right - I should tell him. I just don't want him to take it as me attacking him, so I'll have to work to be careful in how I approach it - we are all so protective over our parents. Either way, you're all right and I have to tell him.

I agree that you should talk to your DH first but your MIL should NOT get away with that. Who does she think she is...I swear, people are so nasty !!!

good luck

Oh hon, I am so sorry you have to deal with this!! I know you have complained about your FMIL's actions, but this really takes the cake.

I agree with the others in approaching FH about it first, but let him know that if he doesn't approach your FMIL about her comments, that you will.

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Posted by miss_qiana

I would talk to your DH before you confront your MIL. Maybe he can talk to her about the comments she made.

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I agree.....Tell DH first. I think it should be his place to discuss this with his mother and come to your family's defense.

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Posted by MissingTheBGene

Talk to DH first. I'm so sorry you learned of this, that is just so wrong.

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I agree. If something upsets you, you should talk to DH. Regardless of whether it his monster- uh- mother.
He will be the best person to get advice from.
Good luck, it Sux that you don't have a nice MIL.

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Posted by miss_qiana

I would talk to your DH before you confront your MIL. Maybe he can talk to her about the comments she made.

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I definetely agree! I am so sorry that you are going through this

same thing, different location, happened to me. my MIL loves drama. in the asian culture the man's family has seniority. same goes for eldest. but i could give a rat's azz. i did speak to my husband first. scott knows of how manipulative she can be. he says leave it alone and it'll run its course and die out. it still peaved me. one day we had to go over to her place to drop something off. she has always wanted me to call her MOM but with all her unruly ways.. tell me. why should i? there are two titles in chinese you can call a MIL. 1 - mah which means mom or 2 - lai lai which means MIL. i called her lai lai and that was the end from there. we had a huge screaming match.

this occurred maybe half a year ago and we're still under rocky terms. i screen my phone calls now. DH is always walking on egg shells. i have nothing but bitter feelings for her and she always tries her best to look good in front of others. you know.. manipulating.

what i'm trying to say here is pick your battles. lick your wounds and yeh.. hope she'll come around. i know it may be hard to swallow and there will be times where you would like to throw precaution to the wind but *sigh*. don't get me wrong. i don't regret lashing out at her. but i do regret making the whole family walk on egg shells whenever my MIL and I are in the same room. I don't want to compare MILs either but this is what i'm going through at the moment. just make sure it's worth it.

good luck and i do hope she'll come around.

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Posted by miss_qiana

I would talk to your DH before you confront your MIL. Maybe he can talk to her about the comments she made.

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i agree

talk to your husband first maybe she is a b***h i am so sorry to hear that... your new in laws how cruel. you need to tell him how you feel and he needs to confront her... he needs to express to her that you are very upset by this.