XOXO

Oh Chand, I'm so glad you wrote this. I was feeling the EXACT same way when I first started planning. And sometimes still do.

Wedding planning is overwhelming - especially when you have bride brain 24-7, even in your sleep. You think about little things too - STDs, menus, placecards, colors, BM dresses, etc.. There are so many choices, so many options, you get a little 'oooooooh, I like this, but I like this, but I also like this.' And you're trying so hard for everything to be perfect and happy b/c let's face it, everyone you talk to says 'oh wedding planning is so much fun, enjoy this time!' And sometimes it's not so fun. AT ALL. So wedding planning starts to stress you out and then something else will stress you out (like FMIL) and it's the worst thing in the world! Take a deep breath and put things in perspective. Like you said, it seems like you're leaving something out in your post - you're probably not. It doesn't seem so bad right? It's overwhelming but nothing that can't be handled.

You and your FH seem like you're perfectly capable of dealing with his FMIL. You both feel the same way and you're both adults, perhaps you can compromise with her and say you'll visit after Christmas or something.

Your friend, well, live and learn. People can be mean and jealous and whatever but you'll be OK. I mean do a search n 'jealous BM' and you'll get a gazillions posts.

And losing friends and growing apart from friends is definitely part of growing up. At least you have us who you can vent to and talk flowers and raunch and future monster-in-laws. Hang in there!

I'm sorry this is so long when all you probably wanted was hugs!

wow jen (or is it 2 n) well either way u said it perfect!!!

i was getting so stressed out from the wedding planning that i havent done a thing in over a month and ya know what i feel GREAT and i cant wait to get started again but im holding my ground and not doing anything till jan!... also we all have one jealous BM i have one and you just have to laugh it off.. my cousin insists on getting married before me and you know what LET HER.. our wedding were saving the best for last!!!! i know its not easy but try and just say 'who cares our will top their' and make sure u dont let her see that ur upset cuz then she knows she got what she wanted!!.... also Monster-in-laws... we all have them but sounds like u have a great FH who feels the same way u do which makes it easier cuz its his mommy... id say do xmas eve with one family and christmas day with the other.. thats how we do it and it works out great!!... good luck and im always hear if u need to vent!!!!

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

wow jen (or is it 2 n) well either way u said it perfect!!!

i was getting so stressed out from the wedding planning that i havent done a thing in over a month and ya know what i feel GREAT and i cant wait to get started again but im holding my ground and not doing anything till jan!... also we all have one jealous BM i have one and you just have to laugh it off.. my cousin insists on getting married before me and you know what LET HER.. our wedding were saving the best for last!!!! i know its not easy but try and just say 'who cares our will top their' and make sure u dont let her see that ur upset cuz then she knows she got what she wanted!!.... also Monster-in-laws... we all have them but sounds like u have a great FH who feels the same way u do which makes it easier cuz its his mommy... id say do xmas eve with one family and christmas day with the other.. thats how we do it and it works out great!!... good luck and im always hear if u need to vent!!!!

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meg, on the 'ours will top theirs'. I AM SOOOO THINKING THAT! .. lol i already know our wedding will be topping hers off because she's paying 26.50 for a buffet style dinner for 3 hrs and a 3 hr open bar. lol.. her own brother said 'chand im leaving after the bar closes!!' lol

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

i didnt even see u said go to vegas... i so agreee i wanna get on a plane and go TOMORROW!!! screw the wedding... VEGAS HERE I COME!!!!... do whats going to make u happy.. if u wanna have a big wedding DO IT or if u wanna go to vegas do that too!!! getting married is all about whats best for the 2 of u!!!!

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lol, yesterday we went to the irish coffee pub and spoke to my moms friends (he owns it, and the bellport cc) and he's saying 90 for the ICP and 120 for the BPCC. So on the way out the FH and I said nope. not neither of them. And my mom got all bent out of shape, so i said 'phuck it, lets go get married in vegas and just plan a reception' and Justin said 'ok lets go!' my bro said 'hell yeea!!' and my mom just bitched. lol which the FH and I both said if both mothers dont listen, we may just do that.

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Posted by BellaLaz

And my friends, well, that's why I'm going to try and come on here more, maybe I'll become closer with some of you girls (if we ever decide to meet in person) and become friends since we have things in common.... Instead of dealing with the kids who just can't put down the maryjane pipe for a quick second and focus on life. although, that pipe might calm my nerves down. hahahaha .. lol.. sorry moment to myself there..

anyway, thanks again!!!!! :):):):):):):)

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honeslty i understand i have 2 really good friends that i still talk to from HS... one goes away to school and one just never really has time to spend with me... but wheneer the one thats away comes home we all get together bu thats only around the holidays.. so anyother time is spent with FH cuz i dont really have friends.. i just rekindled(sp?) a friendship with an old friend from HS but shes also away at school in boston so i dont really have anyone here!! so i totally understand.. i hand out with FSIL alot and i just love her to death and her freinds are so welcoming to me.. its nice!!!! so im willing to meet u and hang out and be friends!!!! no worries!!! well do lunch!! (i love lunch plans!)

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Posted by BellaLaz

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

i didnt even see u said go to vegas... i so agreee i wanna get on a plane and go TOMORROW!!! screw the wedding... VEGAS HERE I COME!!!!... do whats going to make u happy.. if u wanna have a big wedding DO IT or if u wanna go to vegas do that too!!! getting married is all about whats best for the 2 of u!!!!

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lol, yesterday we went to the irish coffee pub and spoke to my moms friends (he owns it, and the bellport cc) and he's saying 90 for the ICP and 120 for the BPCC. So on the way out the FH and I said nope. not neither of them. And my mom got all bent out of shape, so i said 'phuck it, lets go get married in vegas and just plan a reception' and Justin said 'ok lets go!' my bro said 'hell yeea!!' and my mom just bitched. lol which the FH and I both said if both mothers dont listen, we may just do that.

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see thats how i feel EXACTLY!!!! i wanted to get married just nick (FH) and i ... i HATE that people will be there watching us say our vows the most sacred thing to us and it really bothers me and he said i wanna do it in front of the world.. so he won and im still crying about it!!

Wedding planning can be so stressful it's ridiculous! I'm stressing right now too, so I feel your pain! Between school, work, and wedding planning, I have enough stress to last me for a while.

I hope everything works out. Just take a deep breath, take a nice warm bath, and set a night aside just for you - do something for yourself, not for anyone or anything else.

Feel better!