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edited bc i am paranoid he he but my girls helped me out with this one!
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XOXO
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Re: SWR: an FFIL vent. sorry so long
Listen you are saving money up for your own space and having a setup like that is a god send and your FFIL should be thankful that you have been given that opportunity. Doesn't he understand if you were living in the city that type of apartment is normal sized if not larger for a average working couple starting out. Doesn't he understand that the house prices of LI are not compatible with new couple who are working class individuals or just starting out in careers.
I get annoyed at **** like that. I would of been insulted just like you. Yes its nice to entertain large qty's of people and have some space not seem on top of each other but guess what I have lived in a studio apartment since moving back home 8 years ago and I have entertained up to 9 people. Yes its not the best you have to sit on my bed, pack onto the couch, sit on the computer chair and floors but we have fun!
Ignore him he is obv. delusional to think that everyone can afford a huge spread and be able to save up enough money to purchase a better living space. This is why this country is in so much debt - we buy/purchase more then we save and this isn't healhty.
I get annoyed at **** like that. I would of been insulted just like you. Yes its nice to entertain large qty's of people and have some space not seem on top of each other but guess what I have lived in a studio apartment since moving back home 8 years ago and I have entertained up to 9 people. Yes its not the best you have to sit on my bed, pack onto the couch, sit on the computer chair and floors but we have fun!
Ignore him he is obv. delusional to think that everyone can afford a huge spread and be able to save up enough money to purchase a better living space. This is why this country is in so much debt - we buy/purchase more then we save and this isn't healhty.
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Re: SWR: an FFIL vent. sorry so long
I think that what your parents are doing for you is so nice. And they understnd tha tit's going to be so hard the first few years and are willing to help out. I would ignore your FFIL. My FMIL told my FH last night that she though it would be a good idea to buy a new car!?!? WTH is that....were trying to save. I think people just don't think before they talk. I think that living in the apartment above your parents is a great idea. No matter how small it is!!! It's yours and you will make it your home. And too bad if it's to small for them. If it's to small why don't they come up with something better then. Then complaining about it.
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Re: SWR: an FFIL vent. sorry so long
though i think he could of said it a lot better ... he does have a point ... if you guy s dont live together now it is going to be very hard to live together for the first time ... it will not be easy they will most likely be some fighting ... but just because you have a small apt. doesnt mean you still cant have space apart ... you can stay in the bedroom and he could go in livingroom ... i think you FFIL was just trying to make you relazie how the situation might get but he def. should of said it in a nicer way ... if its rent free for 2 year i would def. stay there i wish i didnt pay rent ... also if you really dont like it its not like you cant move out sooner ...
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Re: SWR: an FFIL vent. sorry so long
I believe that if you two are content with your situation and it helps save money for 2 years I say go for it. Its a sacrifice you two are willing to make. Every parent wants more for their children but if thats what you guys choose he should support it. Unless he wants to pay $1000 to $1500 to have the home he wants you two to have for 2 yrs!
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Re: SWR: an FFIL vent. sorry so long
If you guys are willing to work together and live in the attic apartment then do it!!! Unless hes willing to pay up the money to pay your rent for two years while you guys try to save then in my opinion its none of his business...I think its awesome and really kind of your parents to do that. Right now me and fh are living at my parents house to save money for the wedding and a house... yeah it definitely is tough but we are saving a ton... its definitely worth it... Sorry you had such a tough time.
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Re: SWR: an FFIL vent. sorry so long
As someone who was brought up living with grandparents i can tell you it was a living hell for my parents especially my mother and it was her parents.
I do understand how you want to save money etc, but to have your own space, and your own privacy and your own private life is goign to be so important especially when you are first married. especialy if you have never lived together.
I think your FFIL is trying to warn you that its going to be very hard.
If my parents didnt live with their inlaws, and sucked it up and rented their own place I am positive they would still be married today. It was an awful situation that tore our family apart.
My best friends sister and her husband and her 2 children live in the same house with her parents and it is just a living nightmare.
I do understand how you want to save money etc, but to have your own space, and your own privacy and your own private life is goign to be so important especially when you are first married. especialy if you have never lived together.
I think your FFIL is trying to warn you that its going to be very hard.
If my parents didnt live with their inlaws, and sucked it up and rented their own place I am positive they would still be married today. It was an awful situation that tore our family apart.
My best friends sister and her husband and her 2 children live in the same house with her parents and it is just a living nightmare.
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Re: SWR: an FFIL vent. sorry so long
ok tilde i have to agree with YOU. We too are planning on living with my parents in their new home. Its NOT BIG its 2 rooms... a bedroom and the other room will be a small kitchen/ living room. we have a full bathroom upthere as well. We are 21 will be 23 when we get married. with out paying rent for those 2 years we could SAVE so much money to move out and BUY a home. if we move out now or as soon as we get married we would be unable to buy anything. since i will NOT be working full time. im still in school and will be untill 2 months before the wedding. I could not be more greatfull to my parents for allowings us to live there. Of course i would love to get a 2 bedroom apartment with a a dining room and all the works or anyting of my own but its just not realistic right now since im not working and paying for the whole wedding ourselves!
FILs are not happy about this. they have been askig me many ?'s about it and i can see that they are not happy. but heres the kicker. They have a full finished apartment with a private entrence. they have not offered it to us. they do currently rent it out but we offered to pay it also since it was VERY affordable about 650 a month. and still they said 'no' so i feel they have NO SAY!.
just listen and smile and nod. i know its hard but its only for a short time and then you will have a beautiful home! and can entertain as much as you want!... i know its annoying to hear their crap but things are not the way they used to be things are not very affordable now-a-days
i know this is really long but i hope this helps and you dont feel so alone since im doing the same thing!
FILs are not happy about this. they have been askig me many ?'s about it and i can see that they are not happy. but heres the kicker. They have a full finished apartment with a private entrence. they have not offered it to us. they do currently rent it out but we offered to pay it also since it was VERY affordable about 650 a month. and still they said 'no' so i feel they have NO SAY!.
just listen and smile and nod. i know its hard but its only for a short time and then you will have a beautiful home! and can entertain as much as you want!... i know its annoying to hear their crap but things are not the way they used to be things are not very affordable now-a-days
i know this is really long but i hope this helps and you dont feel so alone since im doing the same thing!
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Re: SWR: an FFIL vent. sorry so long
Listen, unless he is going to pay your rent, i wouldnt let it bother me - that is a HUGE savings!!!!
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Re: SWR: an FFIL vent. sorry so long
Rent is super expensive and if you can save yourselves from paying it by living in a smaller apt for a few years, what's the big deal? It's actually smart! You can get an even bigger house when you're ready to buy one because of the money you saved by living in a small apt! Try using that one on ur FFIL!! Anyway, I lived in a tiny condo with my sister and my father and my mother for 23 years so a small apt with only 2 people doesn't sound so bad to me.
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Re: SWR: an FFIL vent. sorry so long
you shouldnt feel like a loser bc u cant afford place and u two are paying for the wedding, im in the same situation...but..unfourtantly i will not be living rent free for two yrs and will be stuck in syracuse with fh for two yrs for his job but thats another story ![]()
...its great that ur parents are so generous and giving you two this opportunity but maybe ur ffil feels a lil jealous or something because of this and took it out on you the wrong way. i totally agree with you and i disagree with something somebody said above about this ruining your relationship or marriage because i think u expect to fight and you two have been together for nine yrs and even though u havent lived together before im sure u two practically live together--as in sleeping over and being with each other all the time and im sure u two fight all the time---and if u dont then shutup ![]()
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bc i have been with my fh for 8 yrs and we have been an old married couple since we got together ![]()
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i think u should just ignore what ur fh said and look at the future where at 26/27 u will be able to buy your own home and not that many young couples can do that and if u ever feel the need to vent we are here!!
