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dream426 Posted:

Re: FILs and parents fighting - long

I think you need to talk to FH. Will he become all defensive if you bring it up? I know I would want it fixed and I would want FH to talk to them. He needs to sit down and talk with them.

missigreg Posted:

Re: FILs and parents fighting - long

ahhh this is a hard thing. i have so many family issues like this it is rediculous. You have to jsut pick and choose which things are important to get upset about.

You can not control people, nor their actions.
I would personally, speak to your parents privately about things when it comes down to a fight, and have FH talk to his parents about. He would know how to handle it better with his parents.

However, with you and FH. if something is really bothering you with his parents, just let him know. Be honest about it, make it clear that you do not want to make it a problem between the two of you, but jsut can not have this kind of fighting. Between the two of you, there has to be a solution you can come up with.

You can not try and make peice on your own it just will not happen. We all like to think we can cchange situations, but I have finally come to the conclusion that i can not fix any of my family problems. I have learned to accept them over lots of time, and now pick and choose what is worth saying something about.

i am not sure if this has helped you or not, but i hope you can take a little somehting out of it.
Jesses Girl Posted:

Re: FILs and parents fighting - long

funny but my parents and his never speak. its 2 totally separate fams. the only time they will prob get together are things such as weddings.

im sorry i cant help.
Mizzdimple Posted:

Re: FILs and parents fighting - long

We would all love to see both families blend well no? Sometimes its just best to keep the mingling to a minimum. Talk to your parents and tell them what FH's family is going through....I'm sure they will understand and try to be sensitive to them during the engagement.

Julybride08 Posted:

Re: FILs and parents fighting - long

Yes I think you need to talk to FH. It's the only way things will get settled. He has no idea what is going on ANd he should know.

JeanetteandSteve Posted:

Re: FILs and parents fighting - long

Posted by Jesses Girl

funny but my parents and his never speak. its 2 totally separate fams. the only time they will prob get together are things such as weddings.

im sorry i cant help.


i'm in the same position...i'm sorry that you're going through this, i really think you should talk to your FH and tell him what's going on. i'm sure he doesn't want you stressing about this on your own...you shouldn't have to and he should know.
ant n tilde Posted:

Re: FILs and parents fighting - long

Honestly, FILs and my parents have been in the same room a whopping total of four times ( junior prom, senior prom, HS graduation, engagement party) lol

but one thing FH and I have always done - and it works for us is:

he deals with his family and i deal with mine. If we have a problem we make sure we deal with our OWN families - that way there isnt any tension . . .and everyone just knows how to talk to their own parents and how to say certain things

good luck!
ourday08 Posted:

Re: FILs and parents fighting - long

I agree, you should speak to FH about it and he needs to address the situation with his parent. Maybe he will be able to get to the bottom of what bothering them. I'm sure everything will work out!

bonch20 Posted:

Re: FILs and parents fighting - long

Our parents have never met. Hoping to take everyone to lunch in a month or so. Should be interesting!

KickinDandelions Posted:

Re: FILs and parents fighting - long

I, too, agree with all of the above. Perhaps you can talk to FH and try to word what you say in a way that won't make him defensive. I'd probably say something like ....'I'm not sure if my parents are being sensitive or not, but sometimes the way your parents say things or react in response to something they say is hurtful to my parents. There have been a couple occasions where they've expressed to me that they feel as if they are being misunderstood and maybe we can all figure out a way to communicate respectfully so that neither of our families feels like the other is being rude. I know my parents enjoy your family's company, so I'd really like to see if we can work things out so that everyone's happy.'

I dunno if that sounds cheesy or not...but it works for me!!!
sassygirl9 Posted:

Re: FILs and parents fighting - long

def. talk to FH and tell him how you feel and how your parents feel. And let him talk to his parents. Don't get involved cause them you will come off like the B$%#@ DIL

ILOVEBRIAN2008 Posted:

Re: FILs and parents fighting - long

def talk to fh about how u and your family is feeling..im sure he'll understand knowing that his family is going through a hard time right now..but like others said sometimes its best to keep the contact to a minimum especially since fh's family isnt being the nicest..

at least thats what i sort of do except its my family not his that im worried about ( my mom can be crazy at times)

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