XOXO

Hey there...
As someone who just did this very thing to move back to NY II would go for it!
That being said...definitely play hard ball to negotiate your salary! If you're making 80 grand...taking half of that is probably not an option...go back with 65 and make sure they know what you're making now!!!
Good luck!!

I would say look for more money in NYC, you are coming from VA to NY (where it is $$$ to live apposed to VA).

This offer may not come around in once you are married. I say go for it. You would have to do it sooner or later.

Everything happens for a reason, there is a reason this job offer came around

HTH - Good Luck

Do it

NY rocks

I hope u have been saving money all this time though!!

This is an important and hard to make i think and only you can make it. You really need to think this out thoroughly and look at what youre losing and what youre gaining.

You basically need to ask yourself this: Is it worth it to me to give up my high paying job and my home in VA to live in NY and be with my FH to do something i would love while living a much lower financial lifestyle?

Good Luck

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Posted by cookieling

my biggest concern about all of this is affording a place to live on my own for a while (until the wedding). And since I have dogs, I need a place preferably with a yard. Someone mentioned checking craigs list, but since I am not familiar with LI, I wouldn't know where anything is or if it is in a good location.

If I thought I could afford a place with a yard, I think I'd take the pay cut.

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Well you could always post here or FM someone from the boards with the locations you're looking at and we can tell you the kind of neighborhood and what not.

I say you hafta follow your heart. You don't want to move here and then resent your FH for the lifestyle change. And you don't want to pass up on it and regret choosing money over being close to your man.
Either way it's a very hard choice. Can you ask for more time??

so, how good is the possibility of you advancing within the next year or 2, and getting promoted and having a better salary?

I'm a scientist, and frankly, I'm accustomed to having to 'pay my dues' to get a job I really like.

Fine, you'd be living in a small apartment ( a decline in quality of life), but you'd be experiencing a career change which potentially would make you much more happy (increase in quality of life).

The biggest thing is that you'd get to be with FH.... which is extremely important to your quality of life...

I'd say go for it, as long as you both wouldn't sink like stones due to the drop in income... you'll be living in close quarters, but you'll be really happy at the same time....

You are making 80K in VA - and the cost of living is less in VA. But you are offered 40K in NY - with a MUCH higher cost of living. You have a wedding coming up in 6 months and your FH is starting his own company.

Don't leave.

It is 6 months. Stay for at least 5 months and scrimp and save every dollar. Save every penny. No more pizza nights, no more happy hours at Chili's, cut back on cable and any other extraneous expense. First of all - because once you come to NY and take a pay cut those things will not be options as much anymore... so you will kind of be putting yourself in training. NY BootCamp.

While you are saving and living in VA - send out resumes. A lot. Resumes to companies who aren't advertising and companies that you never thought would hire you. Send as many as you can via fax and e-mail. Here is why - if you are making 80K in VA, it seems to be pretty evident that you are well educated and that you have a lot of experience in your field. You should not be expected to take such a drastic cut if you are a well qualified candidate. Keep trying until you hit the right company who offers you the right pay.

If you still don't get something closer to the appropriate salary range in 4 months - than you can start looking to accept something for less money. But you will have a nice little savings from all the money you saved while you were on your NY style budget for the past 4 months.

I know it is not popular opinion - but seriously living in NY is HARD on 40K - and when you are coming from a place where you were making double and the cost of surviving is less... it's going to be even HARDER. And financial difficulties and stress are NOT something you need to be sweating 6 months before your wedding. Moreover, that kind of pressure can really damage your relationship with your husband to be. Petty arguments about how much you spent on dog food and why do you need to have that particular brand of shampoo when Suave is so much cheaper... it can lead to anger and resentment and jealousy - and a host of things you probably do not want to deal with on the eve of your wedding.

Just my opinion... I hope it helps!

I really like what rojerono said. I wouldn't be able to make this decision in 1 day if I were in your position. Six months is a good amount of time to keep looking, and worst case scenario you accept a job you don't love in NY closer to the wedding and just keep looking from up here.

But, should you decide to move sooner rather than later, check out places all over Long Island and New Jersey within a commutable distance to the city - just make sure you account for your commute cost because sometimes it's more worth it to live in the city. Also look at areas in Brooklyn, Queens, Hoboken and Jersey City because when you add your train to your rent you may actually end up spending less on a monthly basis.

Good luck!