XOXO

The best idea is to have your mom or bridal party or FMIL casually spread the word that you would like boxed gifts to be sent directly to your house because it would be hard for you to take them home, but you were hoping for cash anyway.

If people ask you what you want you can tell them the same. In NY it is very common for almost everyone to bring a card to the wedding. Outside of the state, not so much. I've seen weddings out of state where there were tables filled with presents.

Just make sure you close out your bridal registry after your bridal shower and have your mom/friends say to other fam/friends 'I am only giving them cash cause they don't need to travel big back down to FL' something like that.

I too live in FL and got married and had my shower in NY. I was contemplating having the shower invitation say 'prefers giftcards to these stores' but opted not to. Long story short, all the stuff is still sitting at my moms house in NY, and she ships a few things down each week or 2 as she can. Its not a big deal, since we have lived together down here for 3 yrs, and our house is already set up with everything, its not like we really needed all of it.

Alot of people mailed my shower gift, so that was nice too. I think they all realized that I was not about to carry all this stuff on a plane, or ship it all back, so many people had the courtesy of ordering stuff online and shipping it.

As far as our wedding was, we only got cash/checks. I dont think too many people give actual gifts anymore at a wedding, maybe in some other states that is the norm, but usually you will only get $$$.

I'm on the same boat as you. Just a little differently, i want to write something on the invites but it's really rude i'm just hopping that they would understand. My FH family ONLY give housewarming gifts like glasses, plates etc.... and since we are already living together we have all of those things so we wouldn't need it. Hopefully something will click in their heads and just opt for cash or cards....we'll just have to see.

But IMO i honestly would tell you not to do that cause it's really rude.

For my engagement party and I brought my boxed gifts all back to the store (Macy's & Bed Bath and Beyond) they came from and asked explained my situation.

They took all the gifts and put aside the exact same items in stores near me for me to pick up for free!!!! Bed Bath and Beyond even gift wrapped them for me!

mzmahagony,

I completely understand! we currently live in FL and had a wedding in NY. For the wedding it was fine.... everyone knows for the most part to either send you the gifts, or order off your registry(ies) and they will then of course send it to you. Those that do want to give you something that day will give you cards.
Your bridal party depending on how close you are may give you little things that weekend etc and you can put them in our bag but other then that it's cards.

It's the shower if you have it up on the Noth East that will add up when people ship it to you....

p.s. my in laws are still sending my my shower gifts and it was in August

---

Posted by KittyGags

I made fun of someone I knew for months for her invite clause...'no boxed gifts please...'

WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?

I mean I get your reason, hers was that she just wanted cash.

---

yeah i'm the one that got that invite lol and it was one of the most tactless and classless things i've ever seen. why not just write 'WE WANT $$$'

while i totally get where you are coming from, theres no way you can put that on an invitation without it being tacky or coming across rude. I liked other girls ideas of spreading it by word of mouth and maybe returning them and picking the same gifts up when you get to FL.

---

Posted by xosweetiexo

Most people know they are 'supposed' to give money at the wedding. You will rarely see anyone carrying around a gift in a box. But, I would be offended if I received an invite and it said money or gift cards only. I wouldnt say anything at all because people already know to do this.

---

ITA- in addition, if you are registered , people will ship the gifts to your home , especially if they know you live out of state. I received about 5-10 gifts from people this way for my wedding . Not one person had a boxed gift at the wedding, but a few did give gifts via mail either right before or directly after my wedding

Whatever you do , do not put that on your invitation ... anyone who does not know to give cash at a wedding is either NOT from NY or lives under a rock if they are from NY , either way it is in poor taste to do so ( as tempting as it is )

---

Posted by mzmahagony

We life in Fl but we are having our wedding in NY. Do you think that it's wrong that I only want Money or gift cards for a wedding gift. My reason for that is that it would be to hard to travel with over a hundred presents. We would have to ship them to our house and that would be another thing that we would have to worry about.....It's not that I don't like gifts , it's just that I think that money or gift cards would make our lives much simpler. What do you think?

---

Wow M...I have the same problem.. I live in ATL and my whole family is in NY. This is too much becuase you know family always come up with lots of stuff at the last minute.. I rather recieve gift cards, etc.. Lets see if they follow through..

---

Posted by Emily0423

---

Posted by mzmahagony

We life in Fl but we are having our wedding in NY. Do you think that it's wrong that I only want Money or gift cards for a wedding gift. My reason for that is that it would be to hard to travel with over a hundred presents. We would have to ship them to our house and that would be another thing that we would have to worry about.....It's not that I don't like gifts , it's just that I think that money or gift cards would make our lives much simpler. What do you think?

---

Wow M...I have the same problem.. I live in ATL and my whole family is in NY. This is too much becuase you know family always come up with lots of stuff at the last minute.. I rather recieve gift cards, etc.. Lets see if they follow through..

---

I know right....all we can do is wait and see i guess...let s keep our fingers crossed.

I understand your reasoning for asking for money but it is a bit rude. I came across this article on wedding etiquette:asking for money. Maybe this will give you some insight to your question

http://weddings.about.com/od/weddingregistry/a/moneyinstead.htm

HTH

I too am from FL and got married on LI. Every single guest gave a check or cash at the wedding and who ever didn't sent it to our house. I only had one person give us a gift which was DH's uncle because it was something DH really wanted. The uncle wanted to see his reaction.

So yes people will know or should know automatically to give check/cash.