XOXO

oh god dont even believe that whole if you got engaged first you SHOULD get married first, i think that is such BS. First of all everybodies situations are different. Some have their parents pay for their whole weddings or help alot and other couples pay for it themselves. So yeah some couples will need a longer engagement since they have to save money and have time to pay everything off. Not only that but maybe somebody wants to wait bc of a specific date or season or whatever the case, why does anybody have to revolve their own life completely around someone else.

Hey that couple made the decision to have a long engagement, now why does anybody getting engaged after them have to revolve their plans and life around them and wait even longer. What happens if a the first couple plans a wedding over 2 years away, somebody has to wait 3 years until they get married

I had a long engagement-22 months. And you know what that was the decision DH and I both made. We wanted time to save for the wedding and on top of that after i was engaged in 06 i didnt plan right away, and finally booked RH end of 06. But i was set on having a may wedding and wasnt going to do 07 and plan in 6 months, yes ppl do it but i didnt want to so we did may 08. Now why should i make other couples wait bc of a personal decision, its insane. ANd we did have ppl who got engaged AFTER us but married before us. One couple didnt want a long engagement and that was their decision, i had no problems at all. ANother couple got engaged same time as us, and they did it a year before us. The world doesnt revolve around dh and I, and i dont see the big deal

DO whatever you feel is best for you and dh. YOu will have ppl who will find something to complain about but at the end of the day you have to be happy with everything you're doing. 6 months between weddings is fine. Please some of us have had numerous weddings in the same month, and then month after month one after another.

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Posted by Espo22

oh god dont even believe that whole if you got engaged first you SHOULD get married first, i think that is such BS. First of all everybodies situations are different. Some have their parents pay for their whole weddings or help alot and other couples pay for it themselves. So yeah some couples will need a longer engagement since they have to save money and have time to pay everything off. Not only that but maybe somebody wants to wait bc of a specific date or season or whatever the case, why does anybody have to revolve their own life completely around someone else.

Hey that couple made the decision to have a long engagement, now why does anybody getting engaged after them have to revolve their plans and life around them and wait even longer. What happens if a the first couple plans a wedding over 2 years away, somebody has to wait 3 years until they get married

I had a long engagement-22 months. And you know what that was the decision DH and I both made. We wanted time to save for the wedding and on top of that after i was engaged in 06 i didnt plan right away, and finally booked RH end of 06. But i was set on having a may wedding and wasnt going to do 07 and plan in 6 months, yes ppl do it but i didnt want to so we did may 08. Now why should i make other couples wait bc of a personal decision, its insane. ANd we did have ppl who got engaged AFTER us but married before us. One couple didnt want a long engagement and that was their decision, i had no problems at all. ANother couple got engaged same time as us, and they did it a year before us. The world doesnt revolve around dh and I, and i dont see the big deal

DO whatever you feel is best for you and dh. YOu will have ppl who will find something to complain about but at the end of the day you have to be happy with everything you're doing. 6 months between weddings is fine. Please some of us have had numerous weddings in the same month, and then month after month one after another.

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thanks so much

I agree. There should not be an ettiquite for this.

This happened to us. I was also set on a May wedding. We have friends that got engaged in July 2008 and decided it was best for them to wait unil June 2010 to get married. We got engaged in December 2008 and planned our wedding for May 2010 since it was too late to plan for May 2009. We did first ask our friends if they would be okay with us getting married before them. They were totally fine with it and were so happy that we even considered asking them. All they both wanted was to make sure that we would be able to come to their wedding.

In my opinion, you cannot 'claim' the an entire year, or season, and in your case 6 months is plenty when they had a very long engagement. You need to do what is best for you and your FH.

I don't think there SHOULD be etiquette that says 'if you get engaged first, you should get married first.' That's ridiculous since every couple's situation is different. I'm pretty sure that we're getting married before a couple of couples we know who are getting married after us but got engaged awhile ago. They have their reasons for selecting a later date, and that shouldn't affect our plans at all.

FMIL is being ridiculous!!!!

Etiquette schmetiquette - do what works best for you and FH - anyone else can S U C K it

I tend to agree with your FMIL sorry It can be really stressful for the family to have to attend two weddings close together especially if people have to travel...especially in this economy. I can understand you wanting to start a family. In the end you and FH have to do what you are comfortable with.

Personally I dont think you need to plan your life around someone else's wedding. I could understand if you were getting married the same month, but there is a 6 month time difference. My brother and I were married 4 months apart, these things happen.

I think you should do what works best for you and FH. You have months difference so like I said I think your being plenty considerate.

HTH

I totally understand how you feel. I had a similar issue with my cousin and I blew up on her... totally not cool of me. I do understand why you FMIL is worried about both of you getting married around the same time, times are hard and shes afraid that guests will need to pick and choose which wedding to go to.

I would talk with FSIL and see how she feels. If you guys can work out something then great, if not... I would say you had dibs first. GL