xpost MOH vent/?/help needed!

So I asked my best friend to be my maid of honor even though we are not as close as we once were. She recently went through a tough break up about a year and a half ago and has since been dating someone else and they are always together and travel all the time. Since they started dating we are not as close as we once were. Since we got engaged I call her and leave messages adn she either doesn't return my phone call or sends me an email at work the next day what is up.

Recently we had an engagment party and not to sound b**tchy but she and her bf came to the party and were the first ones there. The entire time the party was going on she was quiet and acted like she didn't want to be there. Was also one of the first ones to leave. So the next day FH and I are openging presents and there is no present from her! no idea what this is about. The whole reason I didn't want an eparty was b/c I didn't want people buying us presents which she was very aware of my reasoning. I'm just still shocked she didn't bring anything not even a bottle of wine. I know finances are not an issues as she makes extremely good money and travels to lands i can only dream of going 4-5 times a year.

HELP! i'm at a loss. I dont want to lose our friendship but things are obviously not going good at the moment. i dont know if she's gonna step it up or not. This is the girl I always thoguht would be my MOH and has been with me through it all as I have with her. I just don't understand.

this has been upsetting me for the past few weeks and I have only talked to FH about it. I dont know what to do or if I do address this with her how to address it???

Wow ! sorry to hear this.
i hear ya on how frustrating it can be when ppl especially ppl close to you just don't function.
I guess you have to consider that she si going through her own ordeal and maybe her brain just isnt right and has she always been the type of person to not handle more than one thing at a time?
Either way IMO i feel honesty is always the best policy ...maybe not say where was my gift but maybe address how she seemed out of it..whats going on with her? If she was a regualr bridesmaid i'd say ahhh maybe ignore it you have too much going on and as long as you have others supporting you ok..but the fact that she is your MOH i say you have to deal with it someway.
if her answers are flakey and she continues to just not get it.... then maybe you have alot to reconsider

TWIN!!! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Try going to dinner with her one afternoon and talking to her. She how she responds and whether you get a positive vibe from her. You don't want any negativity and everyone around you on that day should be positive and supportive, especially your MOH!
Do you think maybe she may be jealous?

Dinner is hard as she lives in the city and I'm out on eastern long island.
I was thinking of an email but not sure what to write. Idid ask her the day after the party if she was ok and why so quiet and she just said she didn't feel well.she had a kidney infection a wk prior. Its just that vibe I'm getting that is striking me as odd. Yes she is busy w work,bf and other stuff but to not even retun a phone call? When we were at the party she didn't evn ask to see the ring! Just very weird behavior for the past few mnts.

How would you start off saying something. I don't want to offend her and say you're doing this this and this wrong.

As far as the no present thing I'm truly ok w it as she will be spending x amount on wedding but don't tell me about a present u bought another friend who's wedding she is also in who's party was wk before mine. I just think that's rude and hurtful behavior. Combined her income and her bfs is 5 times mine and fh combind income and its not the money truly but the thought. She is never one to go somewhere empty handed

i would definately have a talk with her. i wouldn't write it in an e-mail. call her and leave her a message that you need to talk to her in person ASAP is she doesn't pick up your call.

let her know that she has been acting a little off lately and you would like to be there for her. if she is going through stuff in her own personal life, then maybe now is not th ebest time for her to be you MOH. just because you have been BFF forever doesn't mean you haven't grown apart and the title should go to someone else