Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids! w/ Update!
AmyElizabeth
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Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids! w/ Update!
I just got an email from my cousin: 'The invitation states that 2 seats are reserved for us. Was that just for the adults? **** and ***** were looking forward to seeing you get married and celebrating with the family.'
*Sigh*
We decided to go the route of '# of seats reserved' instead of saying 'Adult reception' and now of course it's coming back to bite us. I don't know what to say. I love my cousin and his kids, but frankly one of them has some behavioral issues and I don't trust that he can sit through the wedding without freaking out.
Am I being selfish? I don't know what to say. I feel horrible.
Update: I wrote back to my cousin, and basically said that it was a hard decision, but after thinking a lot about it, and after some experiences we had, we decided that we were going to have an adult-only reception. And that unfortunately it was really an all-or-nothing decision so we went with no kids.
He wrote back saying, no, it's not all-or-nothing; you can invite 'children in the family' which is what they did. (Meanwhile, the only kids we ever considered inviting were family), and that he respected our decision and hope we respected theirs.
So I wrote back, does that mean you're not coming? And he replied, Most likely not.
Girls, I am so upset and hurt right now. I don't even know what to say. Part of me wants to tell him how hurt I am but the other part wants to be like, Ya know what? That's a really shytty thing to do - it's my WEDDING, not a BBQ or something that i didn't want your kids at. But of course I'll probably do neither. I just really can't believe he'd miss my wedding because his kids aren't invited.
HeatherLynna
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
You aren't being selfish. Don't let people change your mind. It is just a preference. I do not want children at our reception either. I'm sure the kids do not really care haha
AudioLoveStory
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
I'm sorry. We were having trouble deciding between saying 'Adults only reception' and '# of seats reserved' and ended up doing both because we were afraid of people doing this. I guarantee we will still have one or two that bring their kids anyway!
CantWaitMrsH
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
Ummm no youre not! We are having the same issue and I am laying it down. Your cousin's kids do not belong at the wedding. Done and Done!
saralee1978
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
I really don't get why everyone feels this great need to bring their kids to weddings. I would love to ask these parents if they had children at their weddings.
pjc92980
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
you are not being selfish at all!!! tell them you are sorry but it is adults only.
i dont plan on having kids at the wedding, but i also did not think i needed to put anything stating adult only or number of seats reserved. i figured them seeing their names on the invitation (and not saying it is for the entire family) would be enough...but i am beginning to think otherwise.
what is wrong with people?!?!? UGH they will get over it!
jcaramelprincess
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
Just be honest, tell her no kids (in a nice way)!!!!!
AngnShaun
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
well either way it means the same thing...
Panamasweet
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
We have our rsvp cards addressed the same way and was hoping people would get the hint that kids are not invited. I guess we will run into the same issue.
I love the kids in my family also but i dont want to pay for a plate for a child that wont eat. Also i knwo the smaller ones wont be able to last all night. our wedding starts at 8pm on a friday night....who wants to have their kids out that late
poisonivy918
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
you aren't being selfish. I'm not going to have kids at my wedding either. I don't hate kids but I don't think a wedding is a place for them lol. I don't want kids running around at my wedding, or crying during the ceremony, or anything else that kids do. I just think as a big party there should be only adults and not a bunch of little kids running around. plus it's more fun when people aren't watching their kids or being annoyed by their kids who are bored and want to go home!
the kids I am sure are not very upset they can't go either! I remember being a kid and everyone my mom knew was getting married and wanted me as their flower girl and I had to go to every single wedding! seriously I was in like 6 different weddings. I didn't like it and I always found it boring! luckily someone usually took me home after the ceremony. the only wedding I went to was my aunts which after an hour which wasn't that bad I still wanted to go home because kids don't want to sit at parties like that! lol. I didn't even want the food I wanted Wendys which is where my other aunt took me and my brother to for dinner instead then home lol. so yeah don't feel bad, don't feel selfish. it's so messed up they even made you feel guilty or did the what about your family thing.
poisonivy918
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
Posted by saralee1978
I really don't get why everyone feels this great need to bring their kids to weddings. I would love to ask these parents if they had children at their weddings.
I agree lol. when I have kids and I'm invited to a wedding I will gladly leave them home for a glorious night of partying. you can't party with your kids there or whining they want to go home.
leesah85
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
My cousin had 'Adult Reception' and 'Black Tie' written on her invitation and some relatives still showed up with their kids (after they only RSVPed for 2) and did not come in black tie attire. Every family has at least one...
I would just tell your cousin that you decided not to extend invitations to the children, but if there is no other way that they can be there without bringing the kids, then the kids can come.
As long as you're okay with that of course...
DaniandKen2010
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
If you are having a church wedding I would say the children are more than welcome at the church but we are having an adult only reception. Hope to see you there.
If you are having everything at the reception. Reply back. I am sorry but we are having an adult only reception. Hope to see you there.
Don't explain yourself. Keep it short, sweet and to the point.
itbroi805
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
not selfish at all! I'm in the same boat as you, i don't want kids. I did invite my 2 cousins who are like 8 and 12, but I've asked them to be ushers so I have to invite them to the reception..I would just say, O that's so sweet, but unfortunately it is an adult only reception.
Late night formal events are not for kids IMO.
poisonivy918
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
Posted by leesah85
My cousin had 'Adult Reception' and 'Black Tie' written on her invitation and some relatives still showed up with their kids (after they only RSVPed for 2) and did not come in black tie attire. Every family has at least one...
I would just tell your cousin that you decided not to extend invitations to the children, but if there is no other way that they can be there without bringing the kids, then the kids can come.
As long as you're okay with that of course...
I want to have a black tie affair lol. people should be able to have security and be like excuse me you have children not allowed in! just kidding but who does that? it's a wedding! don't they realize you can't just show up with extra people?
annabellagirl
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
Thanks girls! I was thinking the same thing.... If I invite all my cousins with their kids, its like 20 kids... and seriously, we wanted a small wedding - im going to send save the dates out that say 'to Mr & Mrs. So & So' so they will get the hint beforehand! LOL
stx29kls
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
Just email her back that that implies that you are only having adults at the wedding. If you want to, tell them why ---budget reasons etc. It stinks that people don't get it sometimes.
Soon2BMrsJoeBear
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
I truly believe that weddings are no place for kids unless they are in the wedding. You are not being selfish at all!!!!! I would email your cousin back and say 'I'm sorry X, but we are making our reception an 'adults only' event. Kid 1 and kid 2 are welcome to come to the church, but we believe the reception is a place for adults only and would love if you and your husband could join us in celebrating'.
DONE.
SoontobeGallagher
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
Your not being selfish at all! We are only having the kids in the bridal party at the wedding. They are also my sister and FH cousins. They are great kids so we don't mind inviting them.
Also, you don't have to answer to anyone. Just nicely say 'I'm sorry, but our reception is adult only.' If they can't respect that then that's their problem, and not yours.
ETA: They have plenty of time to find a babysitter, if needed.
BellaRegina
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Re: Yes, '2 seats are reserved' means no kids!
You are TOTALLY not being selfish! Its your wedding and your paying for it, your allowed to invite whoever you want! There is no way i would want a 8 year old with behavioral issues at my wedding!
I'm lucky that the only kids in my family are the ones int he bridal party (all the 'kids' in the family are above 16, so i lucked out and dont mind teenager at the party), but if i had the need....my wedding would be adults only as well.
I also don't think '# of seats reserved' or 'adults only' on the invite made any difference. Your cousins would have emailed you either way.
I would just tell them that yes your wedding is adults only...no need to give them a reason or anything.
