Yesterday, my mom brings up

my shower.

No planning has happened at all yet (wedding isn't til November, so that's fine), but she really has no idea when to do it, what showers are all about, etc. There hasn't been a wedding in my family in 15 years.

She asked when showers usually happen, and I said 3 months before the wedding. She said, 'no waaay - I'm pretty sure they happen the month of the wedding.' I had to look up etiquette rules on a wedding site to prove to her that that's not very considerate for the guests (re: both scheduling and finances).

So then she wants me to tell her where I want it be, themes, etc.

I'm having an emotional week, and I actually started tearing up. Is it wrong that i actually WANT to be surprised?! I've never once been surprised in my whole life- not even my engagement!


Ok now I'm whining. Sorry

Do you have a MOH or bridesmaids??
Maybe they can help your mom, so you can be surprised.

oh i am sorry you are upset...i am the same way!! My parents always asked...what do you want for Christmas, your b-day...and half the time I ended up picking up my gift for them! So i never got suprises either and i am hoping my shower stays a suprise....can you enlist the help of a friend or cousin to help your mom??? Otherwise throw out a bunch of ideas, place & themes and tell her to pick one to suprise you!!!

Awwwe sweetie !! maybe you can explain to your BP that you want to be surprised and maybe your mother and them can plan this on there own

My sister is my MOH, one BM is FH's sister, and to put it nicely, we don't have the same taste. AT ALL. The other BM is my childhood friend, but she's not on LI and has a very demanding job.

I hope they get together and pull this off - I feel like Grace in the Will & Grace wedding episodes - I'M THE BRIDE!!

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Posted by Shorty McBride

My sister is my MOH, one BM is FH's sister, and to put it nicely, we don't have the same taste. AT ALL. The other BM is my childhood friend, but she's not on LI and has a very demanding job.

I hope they get together and pull this off - I feel like Grace in the Will & Grace wedding episodes - I'M THE BRIDE!!

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my shower is the same. I had to hound my super busy BMs to contact my sister (the MOH) and I picked the date, the place, etc. everyone's too busy to do this stuff so it fell on me. it would have been nice to be surprised, I agree, but I'm just going to be grateful that my family & friends will be together.

if I didn't take the 'glass half full' perspective throughout this planning I would be bridezilla. My FMIL isn't even inviting ONE friend or family member because she said it's too much to ask of people and she doesn't want to inconvenience them.

I'm just going to focus though on the out-of-towners I didn't think would make it that are making a big effort now to be here.

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Posted by Shorty McBride

my shower.

No planning has happened at all yet (wedding isn't til November, so that's fine), but she really has no idea when to do it, what showers are all about, etc. There hasn't been a wedding in my family in 15 years.

She asked when showers usually happen, and I said 3 months before the wedding. She said, 'no waaay - I'm pretty sure they happen the month of the wedding.' I had to look up etiquette rules on a wedding site to prove to her that that's not very considerate for the guests (re: both scheduling and finances).

So then she wants me to tell her where I want it be, themes, etc.

I'm having an emotional week, and I actually started tearing up. Is it wrong that i actually WANT to be surprised?! I've never once been surprised in my whole life- not even my engagement!


Ok now I'm whining. Sorry

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my mom swears its like 6-8 weeks before the wedding. she keeps telling me she booked it already but i just think they are trying to tease me!

i want to be surprised too - so i dont think you're wrong

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Posted by th24s

Do you have a MOH or bridesmaids??
Maybe they can help your mom, so you can be surprised.

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Definitely! Can they help?? Everyone should do it together- and why not throw in FH for good measure! Can he make some suggestions to surprise you?