Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

debbus Posted: Jun 24, 2002 09:33 AM

Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

We are going Sat. & Sun from 9am to 4:30
What type of questions and what type of activities did you do?
Was it good?
I am hoping the weekend brings us closer and helps us stay focused on what the day is all about.
Please tell me all about your experience.
Thanks

NovemberSue Posted: Jun 24, 2002 09:43 AM

Re: Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

We have to go once a month for 6 months. Ours is different from what other people have told me. People told me that they ask you questions about each other and ask what you would do in difficult situations to see how you would handle it. We don't do that when we go. We talk about religion. Its not that bad. Our priest is very nice.

Melissa Posted: Jun 24, 2002 10:21 AM

Re: Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

I'm not sure what you should expect... We're not doing the Pre-Cana until July 27, from 12-5:30pm. In March we had an Orientation session, where all the couples met each other, they go over some stuff, and we took the FOCUS Survey, and last week we met with a married couple from the church in their home for about 2 hours to go over the Survey that we took. We went over the questions we disagreed about, it wasn't bad at all, and then, we have to go to Pre-Cana at the church with other couples, and talk about situations and how you work them out and stuff, and then we get to meet with the priest briefly for him and us to sign some paperwork. I can't believe all that you have to do to get married in the Catholic Church!!!

Jeanene Posted: Jun 24, 2002 10:31 AM

Re: Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

Hi Debbus,

My FH and I also did the all day Saturday and Sunday Pre-Cana. We were both surprised at how well the whole weekend went. The speakers were terrific, the advice helpful and we both felt we got a lot out of the weekend. There were several different speakers. They each spoke about their experiences, then asked us to answer questions separately and then talk together as a couple about our answers. We did not do the FOCUS survey.

I can understand your trepidation - we felt the same way going in - but hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised, as we were, about how well the whole weekend goes. Enjoy!

dora Posted: Jun 24, 2002 01:32 PM

Re: Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

Me & my FI did pre-Cana in Freeport, through Our Holy Redeemer. Basically, for two weeks we spend Mon & Wed night at the home of an older couple from the parish that have been married for a long time, along with a bunch of other engaged couples. The priest wasn't there. Long story short -- we had a fine time.

Neither one of us is religious, and we were nervous because we thought we'd be the 'big sinners' there since we live together & never go to church. Instead it was basically a bunch of people talking about issues like communication, money, the influence of your parents on your image of marriage, etc. There was a small bit of discussion of religion -- but nothing over-the-top or heavy-handed.

Of course, I'm sure pre-cana varies depending upon who leads the group and what other couples you take it with -- but from what I've heard, most people either don't mind it or have said they actually benefitted from it. (i know me & my FI got into some discussion that wouldn't have arisen without pre-cana).

debbus Posted: Jun 24, 2002 02:32 PM

Re: Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

Thanks Dora,
That's about what I thought it would be like. We are the 'big sinners' too!
We have been together for 9 years, living together 5 so I really have nothing to worry about, we know each other pretty well by now!
Thanks for putting my mind at rest!

Niecey Posted: Jun 24, 2002 02:45 PM

Re: Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

My experience was very similar to Dora's.

We went once a week for 6 weeks to a couple in the parish's home. They were very nice. There were 4 other couples besides us. The pastor would stop in for a 1/2 - 1 hour each session. He didn't say much.

Some sessions were really interesting and some were really boring. Basically the couple leading the way would talk about the topic (god in the relationship, communication, sex, family planning, etc.) and their experience and then there would be a little activity between you and your fiance. After the activity sometimes the couples would share their experience but you were never forced to. The last session was a in house mass and wine and cheese. There was too much catholic church preachings which was a relief to me.

They never made any mention about us living together. I am not sure if they even realized it to the end. Although we never planned to hide it..it never came up.

Sometimes I felt like we could lead it, because we were older than most of the other couples in the group and we were the only couple that lived together and we have been together for over 6 years.

I think it is a nice experience. I think a lot depends too on the couple that leads it. They can really make or break the experience.

jennbaby Posted: Jun 24, 2002 06:36 PM

Re: Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

i am nervous about precana. my friend got married in the same church we are gettingmaried in and she said we have to go to somemarried couples house too. i can't wait (big sinners here too) lol

ss2002 Posted: Jun 24, 2002 07:30 PM

Nothing to worry about...

We just finished our pre-cana-did the meet in-someone's-home thing for a couple of weeks. Five couples to be married met with a married couple (40 years!!) from the parish. One week, a newly married couple sat in and gave us another perspective. The priest stopped in on the last session and presented us with a certificate and a cana cross.

Same as everyone else-we spoke about issues we'll need to address in building our futures together. I found it interesting, it sparked lots of lively conversation on the drive home. I can honestly say that FI and I both gained from the experience.

Plus, we made a couple of friends!!

I was a bit uptight about having to do pre-cana. Our priest gave us quite a sermon when we told him we were living together. I thought we'd get more of the same, but we didn't! The hosting couple did not even flinch.

IMHO, nothing to worry about and well worth it.
Yippeee! Another to-do off the list!!

Melissa Posted: Jun 24, 2002 09:48 PM

Re: Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

Yeah... we're Sinners too!!! LOL Our church has no problem with us living together or anything. It's been really easy to talk to everyone that we have had to so far. When we went to that couples house last week, they were just saying that we might like going to church. It's a good way to meet people. That's only after we mentioned it. They wouldn't of even brought it up!

debbus Posted: Jun 25, 2002 09:30 AM

Re: Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

Seems like everyone is going to a couples house.
We are having ours at St. Johns in West Islip. They hold it in their school building.
My church didn't say anything about us living together. When we went to the first interview and the priest asked us for our addresses (one at a time) we just gave the same answer.
As for the 'lively conversation on the way home', do you mean a fight!!
Thanks everyone I'll let you know how it goes.

Monica Posted: May 29, 2003 11:23 AM

Re: Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

debbus- my fiance and I just finished PreCana. PreCana is what YOU make of it. I left with a lot of information from the married couple that hosted our sessions. They presented questions for us to talk about either on the way home in the car or at home. Topics: Spirituality, sexuality, family, finances, and communication. Since you need to be there anyway why not make the best of it and participate. My fiance went because it was very important to me. I was pleasantly pleased when he commented positively about our PreCana. You may, too.

MarcellaBella Posted: May 29, 2003 12:55 PM

Re: Yikes! Pre Cana this weekend! what can I expect?

we did pre-cana on April 27.. boy was it boring! lol

I can't believe yours is 2 days! WHOA! I would die! lol

Some of what the guy spoke about was helpful.. He spoke about what makes a relationship last, communication and so forth and then the whole natural planning thing was in the latter part of the day and that's when he lost me lol

they make you take tests and quiz each other..

I was soo bored.. Fh and I played tic tac toe and we played 'guess who this is' and we would draw a person in the room, mind you, there were 150 couples there lol we made thebest of it..

But to be honest, the best part was walking out at the end and the feeling of being a step closer to making it official!!

Goodl uck!