Yom Kippur

I am Jewish and originaly I wanted my wedding in early May but there was that issue of Passover.

FH and I had a Catholic wedding to attend that was on Rosh Hassanah (sp) this year. My mom FREAKED out and told me not to go. She was all blah blah they are inconsiderate, dont they realize. We ended up not going to the wedding but to my grandmothers house. FH went to the afterparty

I regret it actually. While I am Jewish and FH isn't I've come to realize that marriage is a simcha (a happy event in God's eyes) so why shouldn't I celebrate it with the couple regardless of their religion.

JMHO. But keep your wedding date and if you do have Jewish guests maybe a little 'Happy Yom Kippur' shoutout would be good.

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JMHO. But keep your wedding date and if you do have Jewish guests maybe a little 'Happy Yom Kippur' shoutout would be good.

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Just wondering, isn't it inappropriate to say Happy Yom Kippur as it's a very solemn holiday?

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Posted by kb

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JMHO. But keep your wedding date and if you do have Jewish guests maybe a little 'Happy Yom Kippur' shoutout would be good.

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Just wondering, isn't it inappropriate to say Happy Yom Kippur as it's a very solemn holiday?

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Very inappropriate.
You can wish someone a happy new year for rosh hashanah, but for yom kippur, you wish people an easy fast, or u can also say 'g'-mar cha-ti-mah to-vah' it is the most holy and solemn day of the jewish year.

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Posted by evnme

Very inappropriate.
You can wish someone a happy new year for rosh hashanah, but for yom kippur, you wish people an easy fast, or u can also say 'g'-mar cha-ti-mah to-vah' it is the most holy and solemn day of the jewish year.

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or, you can go with 'may you be sealed for a good year'

--the stealth groom
(giving meat eating, sports watching, whiskey drinking men a voice on liweddings since 10/06)

if having your wedding on yom kippur doesn't affect you or the majority of your guests then go for it.

But, yom kippur is a high holy day and if you do have any jewish people that you want there, i wouldn't expect them to come if i were you.

ignorance aggravates me..

but anyway on another note, i converted to roman catholic but my whole mothers side is jewish, my mother was actually with me when i booked my wedding which happened to fall on the last nite of rosh hashanna..she totally didnt realize it, we booked, and no one said a word till months later, when my aunt called to say her entire family my cousins and all would not be attending..i apologized several times, and i have to say i am still hurt they didnt show up..i do understand the holiday i was raised jewish, and i dont think its unimportant..but it was my wedding, G'd will forgive you if you go..lol..anyway so some of my family went, and some didnt..if i knew, i wouldve picked another day..
you are SOOOOO totally out of this problem, because your guest list isnt jewish..i agree with the previous poster who says you should invite them since u know they cant come and hope to get a gift lol...
nah, be nice and just say, 'well im glad this doesnt affect my guest list'
good luck!! im tellin you, everyones got something to say bout something..!!

First, I stick by my first response, that if it doesn't affect you or your guests, then there is no reason to worry about it, those girls will get over it.

That being said, I do have to respond to this thread in general. There is no blanket rule that people should or should not (or will or will not) be there....religion is a very individual thing, regardless of the religion. I would not attend a wedding on Yom Kippur even if it were my best friend or a member of my family and it would in no way be meant to be a slight on that person. In fact, I'm sure it would upset me terribly, I would complain that I wanted to be there (not that they chose to have it then) but it wouldn't change the fact that I wouldn't go. Yom Kippur is a very important day and one that is not meant for celebration but for reflection, prayer, and even a little misery (no food or water gets pretty old as you are rounding the 20th hour). For someone that is observant it would be absurd to expect them to be at an event where the theme is joy, and food and drink are in abundance. Sorry for the rant, I don't mean to upset anyone, I just read this thread about a zillion times and felt a different perspective may be needed.

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Posted by bonniejd

First, I stick by my first response, that if it doesn't affect you or your guests, then there is no reason to worry about it, those girls will get over it.

That being said, I do have to respond to this thread in general. There is no blanket rule that people should or should not (or will or will not) be there....religion is a very individual thing, regardless of the religion. I would not attend a wedding on Yom Kippur even if it were my best friend or a member of my family and it would in no way be meant to be a slight on that person. In fact, I'm sure it would upset me terribly, I would complain that I wanted to be there (not that they chose to have it then) but it wouldn't change the fact that I wouldn't go. Yom Kippur is a very important day and one that is not meant for celebration but for reflection, prayer, and even a little misery (no food or water gets pretty old as you are rounding the 20th hour). For someone that is observant it would be absurd to expect them to be at an event where the theme is joy, and food and drink are in abundance. Sorry for the rant, I don't mean to upset anyone, I just read this thread about a zillion times and felt a different perspective may be needed.

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I agree 100%. If your guest list has few Jewish people on it, then don't sweat it. I had one non-Jewish friend who planned a wedding after Rosh Hashanah was over because MOST of her friends were Jewish. It was appreciated. We got married after football season was over (hardly a comparison) because one of our groomsmen is a staff reporterfor a newspaper who covers football. Its all your choice and nobody should make you feel bad for your choices.

HOWEVER, I personally could never and would never go to any celebration on the high holidays, but that is my choice. Most people who are not Jewish have very little idea that Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the year for us. Many assume that Chanukah, by virtue of the fact that it falls around Christmas time (and shares the theme of 'gift giving') is the most holy. It is one of the least holy.

As an aside to educate (but not to judge) people as to HOW holy Yom Kippur is, on October 6, 1965, Sandy Koufax, the overpowering lefty for the Los Angeles Dodgers, did not pitch in the first game of the World Series against the Minnesota Twins because game day fell on Yom Kippur. Despite the fact that the World Series can be a once in a lifetime opportunity for a career player, his faith took precedence.

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Posted by LoveGordonBennett

I am Jewish and originaly I wanted my wedding in early May but there was that issue of Passover.


JMHO. But keep your wedding date and if you do have Jewish guests maybe a little 'Happy Yom Kippur' shoutout would be good.

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No reason why you couldn't have your wedding in early May, especially since more years than not, my bday falls on Passover (early April) Passover generally falls late march/early to mid April. I can't ever recall it being in May.

Also, I have to strongly agree with my fellow Jewish ladies (and guy!) very inappropriate to say 'Happy Yom Kippur'

and bonniejd and Goldi - I agree with everything you said.

To the OP: You/your family and your guest list being non-jewish, this should not be an issue.

I honestly can't believe some people. If mostly everyone invited to your wedding is non-jewish then why would you even have looked up this info, or think that it would even cross your mind. Some people think everything should revolve around them. I can't believe what someone else said about a lady complaining because her kids were still in school. Are we supposed to call up every single guest and ask what day is good for them. Its the couples day, and people need to respect their decisions. You can't expect for them to change everything because of one or a handful of people, that is completely ridiculous.

Don't even stress it. Next time they say anything just say well this is the day we have our heart set on and I am sorry you will not be able to attend, if you want to be a little bit nicer which after the way they acted maybe you shouldn't but you can say you will be missed at the wedding.

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Posted by Eva-and-John 07

So let me start by saying that I'm not Jewish. Neither is FH or any of part of our families.

Our wedding date is set for 9/22/07, which is Yom Kippur next year. First, I didn't know that was Yom Kippur, secondly even if I did, I didn't know what it meant that Yom Kippur was a holy day.

Now a few girls who I went to school with, WHO I DID NOT EVEN INTEND TO INVITE TO THE WEDDING, are flipping out at me. They're complaining about how inconsiderate I am and how they're going to be hard pressed to make it and I should consider rescheduling.

I seriously didn't even know they knew the date of our wedding b/c I certainly haven't been talking to them about it. I haven't even spoken to some of these girls in literally months.

While I don't mean to sound inconsiderate, it really doesn't affect us. Very few of our friends are Jewish and maybe only two of three of this group were even on our guest list.

Why should I have to continually answer questions and justify our decision? It's becoming infuriating and I'm on the verge of blowing my top and being very rude. I don't want to get to that point!

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OMG - I'm your date twin and I didn't know it was Yom Kippur when I booked either!!! I found out when I called a makeup artist and she asked if I knew that it was Yom Kippur. I felt so stupid when I said no. It's not really going to effect anyone coming to my wedding though, since I'm only having 80 people- well, one friend is jewish and she kind of laughed when I told asked her if it was a problem - she's very sarcastic and just said 'no - it's only the holiest day of the year. no big deal!' LOL

so....I've been away from the computer for a few days and i cannot believe the response this post has gotten!!!

Thank you to all you ladies for sharing your good advice.

As an afterthought I wanted to add that one of my bridesmaids is Jewish and she didn't even tell me about Yom Kippur. I spoke to her about it a few days ago and she was really lax about it. She's not really religious so she's ok with having a part in the wedding. Of all the people who may have been able to complain, she was probably it.

I would totally understand if someone didn't come b/c it's a holiday, the same way I would understand it if someone just couldn't make it b/c of a personal reason.

I'm asking people to be my guests, it's not a demand.

On that note, thanks again for your support. I've really gotta learn that everyone will have an opinion and I have to do what's best for me, my FH and our families.

Have a great night ladies.

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Posted by Eva-and-John 07

so....I've been away from the computer for a few days and i cannot believe the response this post has gotten!!!

Thank you to all you ladies for sharing your good advice.

As an afterthought I wanted to add that one of my bridesmaids is Jewish and she didn't even tell me about Yom Kippur. I spoke to her about it a few days ago and she was really lax about it. She's not really religious so she's ok with having a part in the wedding. Of all the people who may have been able to complain, she was probably it.

I would totally understand if someone didn't come b/c it's a holiday, the same way I would understand it if someone just couldn't make it b/c of a personal reason.

I'm asking people to be my guests, it's not a demand.

On that note, thanks again for your support. I've really gotta learn that everyone will have an opinion and I have to do what's best for me, my FH and our families.

Have a great night ladies.

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i know it ***** when people complain to you about such things, but theres always at least one person who has something to say. Whether its something like this, or if its too far for them, or why can't their kid come and blah blah blah. Just don't let it bother you.