You can't even remember what I'm trying to forget

TY.



Get it right
There's no blood thicker than ink
Hear what I say
Nothing's simple as you think

Wake up
Some things you can't get around
I'm in you
More so when they put me in the ground

DH's and I's dating anniversary. My grandmother died on our third anniversary. We actually changed the day we celebrated from 1st date to the day DH asked me out.

I am not sure what you are referring to specifically, but I would redo or change the date. I like to keep happy things happy if I can.

Because of the way that I am, I would walk around feeling like something was stolen from me.

I can only feel good about the 'good' thing with enough time. The key for me is to not look back too often - if I have a veil over my eyes with certain memories, then I can look at it in a happier way. It becomes like a rose colored veil.

Does that make sense?

I'm going to delete too.


Nevermind. That so wouldn't help you.

no advice just some hugs.

My grandma died on FH's birthday - we were in the middle of eating cake when my parents called from the hospital. He has only had one birthday since and I tried so hard to fake it but he said from now on we will celebrate on a different day. . . hope that works.



PS: not trying to compare that to what you are trying to explain, just giving you my own experience.

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Posted by ant n tilde


PS: not trying to compare that to what you are trying to explain, just giving you my own experience.

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that's all I am asking for...so thank you.

and the death of a loved one...no pain compares to that

Planning for my wedding. I have been thinking about, planning and dreaming about my wedding from the time I was a little girl. I was so excited by it and all through high school and college would often spend money to buy wedding mags just to coo at. As i got older - into my 20's I even started a folder of things I like - which of course got tossed soon after I actually got engaged. (I actually LIKED that??? )

Well, I knew we were going to get engaged for quite a while and I was so anxious about it that I just could not shut-up about it. I wanted it to happen RIGHT THEN! I screwed up my FH's proposal plans at least 3 different times because I threw hissy fits or whatever. As soon as we actually did get engaged I threw myself into magazines, this website and any other wedding website I could surf. I was in for so many surprises.

The first thing that happened is my FH warning me to NOT become a bridezilla. I hadn't even done anything yet. He was so afraid that I would become totally obsessed with the wedding planning that was all he would say for weeks. It just broke me down.

I found a Lazaro dress that I loved but even on the sample sale it was $1500. We had yet to even create a budget so the answer from my FH and my mom was NO. It totally burst my excitement bubble. I searched and searched for a (music) band that was in our price range and every single one that fit my qualifications was $5000 or more. Again, a big fat NO WAY! I decided that on my own. We were trying to do everything on an $11,000 budget. It just would suck up too much money. I still think it's too much to spend but I understand why people do it.

To save money we are getting married at The Metropolitan in Glen Cove because my FH's family owns the place. It's beautiful and the food is spectacular but it's just not my style. I would have preferred a barn or some other rustic country style setting.

Bottom line, nothing turned out the way I thought it would and it was a HUGE let down. Planning became the last thing I wanted to do and I put things off and it forced my FH to drag me through certain decisions. I chose things quickly, not wanting to think about it. I thankfully don't regret any of my decisions but I remember when I used to get excited just THINKING about planning my big day. Now I just want it to be over. I just want it to be done so that my life can get back to normal.

45 days and counting. April 15 can not get here soon enough.

Why are we all deleting? I don't get it. Then again....

also - my very first post on LIW was blasted and I mean BLASTED! I got made fun of and treated like shiit. I just didn't understand 'How you roll' ( ) I was complaining about the price of bands and I got a bunch of and . Then a bunch of girls started to make fun of me by talking about my 'stupid' post on the same thread. It was humiliating and yet another experience that made planning my wedding more painful than exciting. It may have even been some of you - I truly don't know nor do I care anymore...

It just reminded me of what life was like for me on Long Island. High school was hell. I was never really fully accepted. Always on the outskirts and I just don't know why. I don't think I ever will and while it shouldn't matter it still hurts every now and then. I just was never 'cool' enough. I was just never enough of what those popular people wanted.

Long Island really is it's own place. I am much happier living off it. People really are different off the island. I never thought that could be - I mean there are nice and not so nice people everywhere - but there is an attitude on Long Island that is unique to Long Island. I have lived in many places and visited many places and have never encountered anything quite like LI.

Maybe you will all blast me, maybe you won't. I know i'm not really part of the 'Crowd' on this board. That's OK. I still think you are all really interesting, passionate, sensual, intelligent women that have a lot of heart. I enjoy reading your posts and sharing. This website like so many things in life tends to be cliquey. What can you do?

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Posted by iamvocal72

Why are we all deleting? I don't get it. Then again....

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I delete things that feel to personal for me because I am a giant weirdo. Like, Amazon Woman giant.

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by iamvocal72

Why are we all deleting? I don't get it. Then again....

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I delete things that feel to personal for me because I am a giant weirdo. Like, Amazon Woman giant.

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Tallie. You mean Tallie.

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by iamvocal72

Why are we all deleting? I don't get it. Then again....

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I delete things that feel to personal for me because I am a giant weirdo. Like, Amazon Woman giant.

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I delete things that are personal because there are lots of people who read this board, even if they don't post. So I will send extremely personal information via FM, rather than post it for all to see. It has nothing to do with you personally.

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Posted by superkat

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by iamvocal72

Why are we all deleting? I don't get it. Then again....

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I delete things that feel to personal for me because I am a giant weirdo. Like, Amazon Woman giant.

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I delete things that are personal because there are lots of people who read this board, even if they don't post. So I will send extremely personal information via FM, rather than post it for all to see. It has nothing to do with you personally.

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eggsackamally.

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by superkat

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by iamvocal72

Why are we all deleting? I don't get it. Then again....

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I delete things that feel to personal for me because I am a giant weirdo. Like, Amazon Woman giant.

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I delete things that are personal because there are lots of people who read this board, even if they don't post. So I will send extremely personal information via FM, rather than post it for all to see. It has nothing to do with you personally.

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eggsackamally.

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No I wasn't taking it personally just wondering. I understand now. thanks!

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by iamvocal72

Why are we all deleting? I don't get it. Then again....

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I delete things that feel to personal for me because I am a giant weirdo. Like, Amazon Woman giant.

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boobylicious amazon woman giant

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Posted by iamvocal72
Maybe you will all blast me, maybe you won't.

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No blasties from me.