You decide: bizarre or not, girls??

OK, as some of you know: FH has a cousin. We'll call him 'Charles'. Charles has had a crush on me since me and Vinny first started dating. In the beginning, I thought I was the only one who noticed this... and I kept quiet about it. As time went on, FH (and his WHOLE family) started noticing all this stuff too. We don't talk about it a lot b/c it's not right since Charles is part of the family and a cousin but everyone knows and sees it-- when I'm around him, it gets so bad and he is so obvious, that FFIL will make faces at me and crack up laughing, etc.

Lately it has been getting out of hand but it's all the big elephant in the room that we are choosing to ignore because it is easier than making a big deal out of it... Then Charles started dating someone so we were all so happy thinking he would MOVE ON from his obvious behavior that is disrespectful to Vinny and makes me feel SO uncomfortable but NO. Him dating this girl made NO difference. And now this girl HATES me b/c it's even obvious to her that he likes me

So this morning I get an email from him and he attached in this email (FOR NO REASON) is a really sexually inappropriate email from this girlfriend to him (which is dated June 13th)... So what he sent me has nothing to do with this email, like it was just an excuse to send it AND the email was written months ago... It's just like he wanted me to be able to read everything she wants to do to him-- it is DISGUSTING and a personal email that she sent to him only!!

FH was appalled and really angry when I told him about this. Then, five minutes later, Charles sent me it again 'Just wanted to make sure you got this' it said!!! This guy is SICK-- I mean, this is bizarre right? I'm not going crazy, right? Me and FH have a right to be like 'enough!!!' because we are getting fed up, this is inappropriate and I feel hella uncomfortable...

Worst part: he's in the BP (we made the mistake of asking him before we realized that he is in love with me in a sick way). Please help, what to do? If anything??

..OMG that is truly disgusting and disrespectful. I think you need to tell him he is no longer in the wedding because of his actions. I also think you need to think about not inviting him at all. It is obvious that he has no respect for you or you hubby to be. Let me know how you are making out.

You and Your FI need to confront him and tell him his behavior is inappropriate and it needs to stop. I would also include that if you are unable to control yourself and stop then we have no choice but to exclude you from our day, not only are you making me (or us) feel uncomfortable but its affected the whole family.


PS: also tell him to grow up and act like an adult!

First off girlie.. I would have Vinny email him back saying please do not send my Fiance emails like this. That's first!!
Then they should have a man to man talk about this and if he doesn't stop then kick him out of the BP!!!
I am so sorry you are dealing with that.. some people just don't have respect! You can't help that you are beautiful!!!!!!

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Posted by chrissyandvin

First off girlie.. I would have Vinny email him back saying please do not send my Fiance emails like this. That's first!!
Then they should have a man to man talk about this and if he doesn't stop then kick him out of the BP!!!
I am so sorry you are dealing with that.. some people just don't have respect! You can't help that you are beautiful!!!!!!

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I agree have Vinny say something to him, because this is just beyond inappropriate.

Wow. This is not an easy situation, and yes, bizarre. My fear is that is guy is completely obsessed with you. IMO it is time to address the BIG Green Elephant. (green with envy) and maybe FH will have to have a talk with him. To be quite honest, you and FH may have to reconsider having this cousin in you BP. He is not honoring your FH by his actions, and should not be in a place of honor at your wedding. This is a very sticky situaiton, and it will have to be handled with care, but it seems like it must be dealt with...and soon.

whoa..................................!!

this is a crazy situation. and i don't blame you for being uncomfortable. can FH talk to him like 'man to man' and see if things can be resolved?? it's not cool for you to be uncomfortable on your wedding day. or any family function... or ever! maybe if he knows his behavior is that obvious and that ppl are angry he would stop.... do you feel comfortable enough to talk to him??

aww chrissy you are too cute!!

i really wish this girlfriend would have been the thing to change his behavior but she is, i hate to be mean, not nice and NOT attractive yikes! like, even FFIL called her 'facce brutta' (sp?) which is italian for 'ugly face'... he never calls her by name-- just that 'nick-name' lol but she hates my guts

i should do that though-- tell vinny to write him back and make it like he checked my email for me and found it!! good idea! and he should talk to him about it b/c it's getting out of hand. but FMIL really doesn't want to start a problem b/c it is her brother's son and she really cares about her brother and doesn't want to cause a family feud b/c they had a family feud a couple of years ago about other things-- so now that they are getting along, it's a sensitive subject.

Hmm... Well, I'm going to run this by Vinny. Charles is VERY sneaky about it sometimes-- he will, some nights, be SO mean to me on purpose (like when the kid in Elemantary School used to push you over and knock you down- that meant he liked you lol) He does those things-- the love/hate relationship. He'll be like 'I hate you' to my face-- and then he'll drink too much and pull me aside and tell me how beautiful I am-- So I'll say 'Charles, stop, that's not right' and he'll say 'I'm just being nice-- Vinny is lucky, that's all' so he skirts it... Then, in front of William (Vin's neighbor and friend with baby Jack that just passed away)-- Charles said 'Vin's lucky Danielle didn't see me first or she would be in a different bed' or something to that effect-- right in front of me and William!!! So then if I tell Vinny that it's like I'm a fire starter and he can just deny it and I would have to get William involved. He walked away and Will was like 'holy crap' lol I hate it

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Posted by rn4u2go

Wow. This is not an easy situation, and yes, bizarre. My fear is that is guy is completely obsessed with you. IMO it is time to address the BIG Green Elephant. (green with envy) and maybe FH will have to have a talk with him. To be quite honest, you and FH may have to reconsider having this cousin in you BP. He is not honoring your FH by his actions, and should not be in a place of honor at your wedding. This is a very sticky situaiton, and it will have to be handled with care, but it seems like it must be dealt with...and soon.

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i think you are so right

i was dreading these responses tho

fmil would die if i asked him to not be in the BP and everyone would flip

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Posted by StarryEyedBride

whoa..................................!!

this is a crazy situation. and i don't blame you for being uncomfortable. can FH talk to him like 'man to man' and see if things can be resolved?? it's not cool for you to be uncomfortable on your wedding day. or any family function... or ever! maybe if he knows his behavior is that obvious and that ppl are angry he would stop.... do you feel comfortable enough to talk to him??

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i don't feel comfy talking to him-- he denies everything and is always 'i love her' one day and 'i hate her' the next-- he'll walk in and he will say hello to everyone but me-- like he's mad at me for the fact that we are not together or something. he gets so arrogant and everything i say he just gets angry... then, he'll drink too much and tell me that he doesn't like his gf but he has no one else and thinks about me all the time it's awful.

no one knows this-- i mean, fmil and ffil see how he looks at me and stuff and they see the love/hate baby bullshiit but not these things- he is careful about it.

i had to ask my DOC to be careful with him at the wedding-- he is so bitter he said he wants to knock over the cake on purpose-- 'as a joke to vinny' yeah right-- just to upset me! he is always trying to get vinny to say he likes other girls and stuff-- as a way to hurt me-- or to get me to not want to be with vinny?? i guess??

Wow....That's super creepy and disgusting - I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.

Unfortunately because he's family you're in a really tough spot. If he was just some weirdo friend you could just write him off and call it a day (a very icky day!!). IMO, I think your fh should sit down with him, and tell him that his actions are completely inappropriate, and that you both feel extremely uncomfortable, and if he can't control his feelings, he will be disinvited to the wedding. I would also ask him to step down from your BP immediately - he crossed the line a long time ago with his grossness, but by sending you the email, he took it a step further. The last thing you need is to be up at the altar feeling his nasty eyes staring at you from 2 feet away.

What a crazy situation!!!! Well the way I see it, now your FH needs to approach him and let him know this is NOT acceptable!!!!! He needs to be told he is no longer in your BP. That's just how I would handle it. Good luck with this one hunny!!!
XOXOXO
Kitty

Very bizzare. I hope FH doesn't kill him

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Posted by nycgirl79

The last thing you need is to be up at the altar feeling his nasty eyes staring at you from 2 feet away.

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EXACTLY

that is what i'm dreading the most

yo b!tch is crazy!!!

he needs to stop. you or vinny should really say something. that's totally not cool. he might take it further and send you nakey pictures!!!

oh sheesh
first of all, due to his behavior I'd speak with Fh and then ask him to step down from being in the BP. No way do you want someone like him .. family or not .. in the BP.

your Fh needs to speak to his cousin before (God forbid) things get really out of hand

good luck

oh geez.. i really thought you guys were going to be like 'it's ok, just ignore it-- he is family and you need to just accept that he's a jerk but you can't not have him in the BP'

LOL SO NOT THE RESPONSES I'm getting!!!

I was afraid of this-- I'll have to talk to FH

Oigh....lots of for you for dealing with this so maturely.

As for your fmil and the rest of the family freaking out if you ask him to step down, I think they'll understand - especially since they have witnessed his creepiness firsthand. I'd go to your fmil and tell her everything. Once she hears about the email and his gross comments, I'm sure she will understand.

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

oh geez.. i really thought you guys were going to be like 'it's ok, just ignore it-- he is family and you need to just accept that he's a jerk but you can't not have him in the BP'

LOL SO NOT THE RESPONSES I'm getting!!!

I was afraid of this-- I'll have to talk to FH

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Yeah I would Def talk to him. I personally would not want this man in my wedding party, and if he wasn't family I wouldn't even invite him and his 'ugly girlfriend.' lol