Re: You decide: bizarre or not, girls??
double post. oops!
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You decide: bizarre or not, girls??
Original post by SeptBride70
OK, as some of you know: FH has a cousin. We'll call him 'Charles'. Charles has had a crush on me since me and Vinny first started dating. In the beginning, I thought I was the only one who noticed this... and I kept quiet about it. As time went on, FH (and his WHOLE family) started noticing all this stuff too. We don't talk about it a lot b/c it's not right since Charles is part of the family and a cousin but everyone knows and sees it-- when I'm around him, it gets so bad and he is so obvious, that FFIL will make faces at me and crack up laughing, etc.
Lately it has been getting out of hand but it's all the big elephant in the room that we are choosing to ignore because it is easier than making a big deal out of it... Then Charles started dating someone so we were all so happy thinking he would MOVE ON from his obvious![]()
behavior that is disrespectful to Vinny and makes me feel SO uncomfortable but NO. Him dating this girl made NO difference. And now this girl HATES me b/c it's even obvious to her that he likes me ![]()
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So this morning I get an email from him and he attached in this email (FOR NO REASON) is a really sexually inappropriate email from this girlfriend to him (which is dated June 13th)... So what he sent me has nothing to do with this email, like it was just an excuse to send it AND the email was written months ago... It's just like he wanted me to be able to read everything she wants to do to him-- it is DISGUSTING and a personal email that she sent to him only!!
FH was appalled and really angry when I told him about this. Then, five minutes later, Charles sent me it again 'Just wanted to make sure you got this' it said!!!![]()
This guy is SICK-- I mean, this is bizarre right? I'm not going crazy, right? Me and FH have a right to be like 'enough!!!' because we are getting fed up, this is inappropriate and I feel hella uncomfortable...
Worst part: he's in the BP (we made the mistake of asking him before we realized that he is in love with me in a sick way).![]()
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Please help, what to do? If anything??![]()
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Lately it has been getting out of hand but it's all the big elephant in the room that we are choosing to ignore because it is easier than making a big deal out of it... Then Charles started dating someone so we were all so happy thinking he would MOVE ON from his obvious
So this morning I get an email from him and he attached in this email (FOR NO REASON) is a really sexually inappropriate email from this girlfriend to him (which is dated June 13th)... So what he sent me has nothing to do with this email, like it was just an excuse to send it AND the email was written months ago... It's just like he wanted me to be able to read everything she wants to do to him-- it is DISGUSTING and a personal email that she sent to him only!!
FH was appalled and really angry when I told him about this. Then, five minutes later, Charles sent me it again 'Just wanted to make sure you got this' it said!!!
Worst part: he's in the BP (we made the mistake of asking him before we realized that he is in love with me in a sick way).
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Re: You decide: bizarre or not, girls??
EEEEEEEeiiiiiiiiiiwwwwww...BIZARRE~
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Re: You decide: bizarre or not, girls??
I'm totally board crashing... sorry!
But I just think that by your FH's entire family ignoring the situation enables him to act very inappropriately towards you. Who knows if you should feel threatened by him or not, but I'm sure some of the things he's done you thought he would never do.
I'm sorry all of this is happening esp. with the holidays coming up. You're FH will come to your rescue!!![]()
But I just think that by your FH's entire family ignoring the situation enables him to act very inappropriately towards you. Who knows if you should feel threatened by him or not, but I'm sure some of the things he's done you thought he would never do.
I'm sorry all of this is happening esp. with the holidays coming up. You're FH will come to your rescue!!
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Re: You decide: bizarre or not, girls??
I don't do a lot of posting, but I do read this board a bit. It sounds like you are marrying a wonderful guy, and I think he'll more than stand up for you, if you ask him too.
Creepy stalker cousin can simply not be in your BP. It just can't happen.
The good news, is that he foolishly put things in writing by sending you those emails. I'd print them out, and use them with your in-laws, if God forbid, you need any reinforcement. Having FH reply is a great idea. I'd print that out too, and any replies he may recieve.
It's a rotten situation, and you've been more than graceful up to this point. Take advantage of the mistake he has made by putting his disgusting BS in writing, protect your wedding and your marriage, and worry first and foremost about the new family you are starting.
Best of luck with this. Kathy
Creepy stalker cousin can simply not be in your BP. It just can't happen.
The good news, is that he foolishly put things in writing by sending you those emails. I'd print them out, and use them with your in-laws, if God forbid, you need any reinforcement. Having FH reply is a great idea. I'd print that out too, and any replies he may recieve.
It's a rotten situation, and you've been more than graceful up to this point. Take advantage of the mistake he has made by putting his disgusting BS in writing, protect your wedding and your marriage, and worry first and foremost about the new family you are starting.
Best of luck with this. Kathy
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Re: You decide: bizarre or not, girls??
I would honestly have your FH sit down nd talk to him. His behavior is in excusable and disrespectful. This little crush has turned into something over the top and twisted and now with blatent sexual harassment involved. He needs to be told that his behavior will not be tolerated and that if it persists he can not be a part of your wedding or even more, your new life together. ![]()
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Re: You decide: bizarre or not, girls??
What a jerk! I think Vinny has every right to confront him about this cousin or not. It needs to stop and I think I personally would not want him in my BP. You have the right to kick him out and replace him b/c his actions are completely inappropriate.
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Re: You decide: bizarre or not, girls??
Not like this has anything to do with it, is he your age?
If I was your FH I would definitely have a talk with him and tell him that this is enough. If this continues, then I would even tell him he can't be in the bp.
It's just totally inappropriate! To me, the email is the icing on the cake and something needs to be done now.
If I was your FH I would definitely have a talk with him and tell him that this is enough. If this continues, then I would even tell him he can't be in the bp.
It's just totally inappropriate! To me, the email is the icing on the cake and something needs to be done now.
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Re: You decide: bizarre or not, girls??
As others have said have Fh email him back. Be sure to keep the email so you can show Fh uncle how this guy has been harrassing you. Also put a voice recorder in your purse next family function. Fh uncle can't start a fued if he hears his son disrespecting you and Fh. Let the cousin drink and tape him talking. No one can deny hard evidence. No matter how embarrassing it may be.
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Re: You decide: bizarre or not, girls??
his cousin is definitely bizarre and something is not right....i dont know what you and Vinny should do...he should have a talk to him and you guys should make it quite clear that you are so not interested in him whatsoever....so creepy.. i cant believe he would email it and then email it again just to make sure you got it........i tell you....your in a yucky situation ![]()
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Re: You decide: bizarre or not, girls??
I would definitely confront him-there is no reason that he should be making you uncomfortable like that! Its really inappropriate and not ok! I would also fire him from being in the BP, the last thing that you will need is to feel uncomfortable during the time that you spend with your BP...GOod Luck
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Re: You decide: bizarre or not, girls??
Definitely have FH say something. Also, have you tried ignoring it? I know it's kind of a lame thing to do, but maybe with as little reaction as possible it might get boring to him?
