Do you know of every one of your FHs exes? I just wanted to get some clarification on an incident that happened a few weeks ago.
We are tossed between 2 venues, and when we went in for a food tasting at one, FHs ex girlfriend was one of the wedding coordinators there. She immediately ran up to him and gave him the biggest hug. She was very put together, and is gorgeous!!! They talked for a while, and we went on with the food tasting. Afterwards in the car, I asked him who she was (because he told me he only dated 3 other women before myself) and he told me it was a girl he was seeing right around the same time him and I met (not one of the 3 exs I know about). Now of course I'm wondering if he was seeing her at the same time we first got together. I asked him if there were any other women besides the 3 I know about and he told me he casually dated a few other women but ultimately decided to break it all off to be with me... I kept asking him for details, like how did they meet, how long they were together for, what were there names, and things blew up. This escalated into a flow blown fight, and FH has been sleeping on the couch for the past 3 nights and we have barely spoken a word to each other.
I feel like its justified for me to know because he wasn't honest with me in the past. He thinks I'm ridiculous and obsessing over women who he didn't have any feelings for and i should only be concerned that I am the only woman he loves and cares for. Am I wrong, and being childless? Ugh I wish I could let this go, but for some reason I just can't.
cets1290
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Your FH's exes
You definitely have a right to be angry. But at the same time he proposed to you and stopped seeing other people to be with you so I would just keep that in mind and not bring it up anymore. He is like my FH with that stuff- he doesn't like to talk about his exes because they are a thing of the past and he doesn't see a point in wasting time discussing our past bfs/gfs
meejack1110
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I've been on the other side of this story. FH and I shared all of our past with each other when we first met, so He knows about my exs, but it has happened a time or two (or 3 hehe) that we've run into a guy I've 'dated' in the past. Not a bf or a major relationship, just a date here or there, hey I was single for a loooooong time I dated a lot. lol. So when we run into these people (FH feels like I've dated every man in suffolk county lol) and I explain it's a guy I've dated FH was at first confused, like I lied to him. Until I explained. Listen 'before you I dated a lot, most are so insignificant in my life that I don't even think to mention them to you, in fact, I barely consider it dating since I never had any strong feelings for them in the first place'. Maybe that's the way your FH handled it with you? I'm not sure his motivation, but I just wanted to share the other side...just in case. Hope it helps!
luckyerialc
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Re: Your FH's exes
Posted by meejack1110
I've been on the other side of this story. FH and I shared all of our past with each other when we first met, so He knows about my exs, but it has happened a time or two (or 3 hehe) that we've run into a guy I've 'dated' in the past. Not a bf or a major relationship, just a date here or there, hey I was single for a loooooong time I dated a lot. lol. So when we run into these people (FH feels like I've dated every man in suffolk county lol) and I explain it's a guy I've dated FH was at first confused, like I lied to him. Until I explained. Listen 'before you I dated a lot, most are so insignificant in my life that I don't even think to mention them to you, in fact, I barely consider it dating since I never had any strong feelings for them in the first place'. Maybe that's the way your FH handled it with you? I'm not sure his motivation, but I just wanted to share the other side...just in case. Hope it helps!
This! FH knows about boyfriends I have had but not about guys I casually dated. It stayed casual for a reason - I wasn't that into them after a bit! Luckily the majority of them were upstate at college so we'll never run into them
I don't think he was necessarily lying to you but omitted some things from his past as many do when talking about previous flings. It doesn't sound like he had an emotional connection with these women he didn't tell you about it
Soon2BeMrsMango
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Your FH's exes
This is exactly why FH & I dont talk about our past. With my exBF we knew everything about each other & it caused too many arguements. I learned from my mistakes. FH knows I had a serious BF prior to him & I dated a few guys and vice versa. Honestly I am glad because its one less thing we have to argue about. If we have ran into someone from our past we are honest but drop the subject. I'm the jealous type and would not want to know who has been with him. As far as I am concerned I am the only girl FH has even kissed Thats what I tell myself. Since we've met we have 100% been all about us & the past doesn't matter to me. I'm marrying him and thats all that matters.
In answer to your question, I would be upset. More because I am on the jealous side & would compare myself to her and drive myself crazy. Just remember he chose you & thats all that matters!
MrsAlfa
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Your FH's exes
FH has no exes. I'm good.
jsh109
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Your FH's exes
FH and I have known each other since middle school so I know all about his exes since most of them were my friends. He was my first boyfriend so I don't have any exes to tell him about. However, we did share everything about our past - his exes, the guys I've liked, what happened, etc.
I don't think it's wrong for you to ask but I would drop it after a certain point. I've definitely pushed it too far with my FH and he got a little angry that I was questioning his past. Like Soon2BeMrsMango said, he chose you out of all those girls and that's all that matters.
futuremap
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Re: Your FH's exes
Posted by luckyerialc
Posted by meejack1110
I've been on the other side of this story. FH and I shared all of our past with each other when we first met, so He knows about my exs, but it has happened a time or two (or 3 hehe) that we've run into a guy I've 'dated' in the past. Not a bf or a major relationship, just a date here or there, hey I was single for a loooooong time I dated a lot. lol. So when we run into these people (FH feels like I've dated every man in suffolk county lol) and I explain it's a guy I've dated FH was at first confused, like I lied to him. Until I explained. Listen 'before you I dated a lot, most are so insignificant in my life that I don't even think to mention them to you, in fact, I barely consider it dating since I never had any strong feelings for them in the first place'. Maybe that's the way your FH handled it with you? I'm not sure his motivation, but I just wanted to share the other side...just in case. Hope it helps!
This! FH knows about boyfriends I have had but not about guys I casually dated. It stayed casual for a reason - I wasn't that into them after a bit! Luckily the majority of them were upstate at college so we'll never run into them
I don't think he was necessarily lying to you but omitted some things from his past as many do when talking about previous flings. It doesn't sound like he had an emotional connection with these women he didn't tell you about it
Yes! Casually 'dating' someone could mean like 5 dates, maybe a make-out session or two and some free dinners. Doesn't mean this person was anything important in my life. FH and I have shared some info on major ex's (people we seriously dated) but anyone else in my opinion doesn't matter. They were just a part of the road that lead us to each other and I don't care about them... in the end I won because I'm wearing the ring and I'll be his Mrs. If you can concentrate on the fact that he chose YOU than it might be easier to let it go! Hope it all works out!
HTH!
violet0711
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Your FH's exes
In my opinion, you two should just kiss and make up! It's not worth it to fight. The past is the past. He choose to be with you and to spend the rest of his life with you, that's all the matters. =)
db276952
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Your FH's exes
I've never cared to open the 'ex-file.' Everyone has a past and as along as it stays in the past I am fine with it :)
He probably doesn't see it as lying - if they casually dated it could be they went out once or twice. But then again I don't know if I would run up a give a hug to a guy I went out with once or twice - I'd probably turn the other way lol.
ladygoodman
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Your FH's exes
Fh only has one ex and that ***** had her hands all over him in front a few times in the beginning of our relationship. Shes lucky I didn't know her out. One of fhs friends wives did that instead. He knows about all of my exes and he even knows I still talk to one of them. But he knows the past is the past and doesn't care.
LadyReeRee
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Your FH's exes
I think you're right to be annoyed. If you and FH do take the route of talking about past relationships, I think it's best to be honest..like all or nothing. FH has told me some things that made me want to fight a b**** when I see her, but I was the one that asked to know. In the end, it's all about trust and honesty.
Angie2014
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Your FH's exes
I had told FH that one thing that matters a lot to me is full disclosure. He is not the type to talk about his past, but he did say that I can ask him anything I want and he'd give me an honest answer, and he has always been honest with me. I know he has dated a lot of girls, and while it used to bother me sometimes, I've realized that we're both very lucky to have found each other. I think I'd be fleetingly jealous if we came across a good-looking ex of his who seemed overly friendly, but I'm the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and that's all that matters in the end.
Simonenarissa
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I think there's a big difference between girlfriends and someone you just casually dated. If I asked someone 'hw many relationships have you had' I'm not really asking how many people have you dated/kissed whatever. I don't think I would take this that seriously.
Delgie
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Re: Your FH's exes
Posted by cets1290
You definitely have a right to be angry. But at the same time he proposed to you and stopped seeing other people to be with you so I would just keep that in mind and not bring it up anymore. He is like my FH with that stuff- he doesn't like to talk about his exes because they are a thing of the past and he doesn't see a point in wasting time discussing our past bfs/gfs
My FH is the same way and it drives me crazy because I like details about everything. He feels that the past is the past and should stay there and to be honest, he's right. Discussing the past causes unnecessary arguments. How he treats me now and the fact that I am the woman he wants to marry is all that matters.
I would be a little (maybe a lot) bothered by the way your FH's ex acted in front of you though, especially since she clearly knew who you were and why you were doing a food tasting! But you laugh last because he wants YOU!
RoandJoe
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Your FH's exes
My FH dated this girl Linda TEN YEARS AGO! They stopped talking for a while, and about 1 year before we met, they started hanging out a lot again just as friends. I met FH, and ironically enough, it was because she told him to sign up for the website we met on. About 1 month into dating, I posted that we were at Morgan Park together on Facebook. Twenty minutes later, she posted a picture of them together at the same park. She did this about 4 other times after that. One month before our engagement, she messaged FH on facebook to chat and catch up. She told him she never was a threat to me--yadda yadda yadda. He kind of told her off, and told her we were getting engaged the following month. I actually wound up seeing the whole conversation AFTER we got engaged because she was making me super insecure. I guess we all have the same issues when it comes to ex's. UGH!!
