'You're not a bridesmaid' HELP!!!!

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Posted by Love4Eva

I think you should just subtly mention to her hints - and then if she doesnt get it - then just talk to her and tell her that your FH does not have any freinds to involve - and you do not want to have 2 girls walking in with one guy - then tell her that she can still come to your bachelorette party- and be involved the day of your wedding (a reading, or bringing up the gifts)

HTH!! good luck!

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This does help!
I am going to use these hints first and hopefully make sure she understands...
If not, then the next step will be to be blunt.

She has already told me that if I have concerns about too many girls that girls can walk next to each other!!
I tell you - I am quite lucky to have this ! ugh/

but I definittely will tell her that I still want her involved in all the things you said!

THANKS

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Posted by Missladybug15

just try to explain to her that you have to choose family and friends that you have been closer to first, and financially it will be tough to have a large bridal party. Tell her you would be honored if she can read at the ceremony

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Thats a good idea as well!

you gals are great!

I would have never thought of all these explanations but I defintely will mention how I was closer to all these girls - AND they are close to each other so its one tight knit group... they dont really know her and all... and then say it can't be larger than 6....

thanks!!

well I would make her one to avoid hurting feelings. On Christmas 2 of my cousins asked if they could be in the wedding so what was I going to say, (they're 13 &15) so they're Jr. Bridesmaids, then, another cousin asked if her daughter was going to be invited to be in the wedding so to avoid hurting feelings, we said yes, we have:

1Maid of honor
1Matron of honor
6 Bm's
3 Jr. BM's
1 Head Flower girl
3 Flower girls


This is way bigger than we wanted, but I don't want to hurt feelings

This is an insane amount of people in the BP, so I'm trying to figure out how to handel, like making 2 Jr. BM's guest book attendants (maybe)....

Good LucK

Well, this person must really love you to want to be a part in your wedding. Don't hurt her feelings.
Include her in some way. One of my best friends didn't invite me to be BM in her wedding and I was really hurt, so I know how it feels. Just tell her that you love that she wants to be your bridesmaid but you already made your choices and didn't want to have more than you already have. But be gentle, If she wants to be included she must really look up to you, Why don't you want her to be in your party? :)
XOXOXOXO
Kitty

She does love me as a friend and probably will be hurt when I tell her this but I just don't want a huge party.... and I don't like the idea of asking her just bc she was persistent... I have other close friends as well and two cousins I would have asked also....
but will make them some important part of the day

thanks for your advice!

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Posted by NinaChris07

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Posted by Happybride2005

i agree with kathleen...ask her to do a reading. why doesn't she keep asking you about being a bridesmaid

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I probably will ask her to do a reading...
I just thought it was too early to ask all that...

I also thought you can wait like 8 months to a year before your wedding to ask your BMs....

The reason why she asked 3 times (and the answer to your question) - is that the first two times she asked me literally RIGHT after I got engaged and I hadn't asked anyone except my sister to be my MOH....

then, she made a comment like, 'O I told 'Mary' that I don't think I am in your Bridal Party bc you didn't ask me' and then a mutual friend of ours was like 'haha, Nina - hint hint' I just laughed and nodded - which I thought was a CLEAR agreement that she was not in the BP.

The third time she asked was right before I was going to my car and she said - so I am really not in your BP? It really caught my by surprise and I got really annoyed and don't even remember what I said but obviously I wasn't clear enough!!!

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you should have said..well NO you are NOT in my BP...if that will stop you from asking me! That is sooooo rude

That is def. a tough situation! It may be uncomfortable to have a confrontation about it, but she may not get the hint if you mention things about the bridal party. I agree, if you tell her how difficult it was to make the decision about your bridal party, but still want her to be included in the ceremony, she might not take it as badly.

Good luck!

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Posted by beautyq115

Maybe just say...we wanted to keep the number relatively low...That you had to have your FI's sister in it and your 4 best friends from school...maybe you could honor her with a reading or something

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def agree....she def shouldnt ask..but good luck......!

Thanks for the advice gals!!!

I agree... I think I might need to be 100% blunt bc she hasn't gotten past hints....

THANKS EVERYONE!!!

Good Luck-maybe she will get the hint-but after that all that youcan do is be straight with her

Thats what I am going to do....

Thanks for all the advice, I plan on talking to her soon!


love you girls!