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you dont need that crap!!! if i were you od talk to her about it and tell her that if sheis gonn abe like that you would rather not have her in the wedding!
let her know how she is making you and everyone else feel! if you really dont mind severing the friendship then it wont matter much what she thinks!

I did. I found out that her 'boyfriend'/ boss, was engaged to another woman & she knew about it . I can not tolerate morally deviant people in mylife so she was dropped from the BP & my life

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Posted by CMaria81

I 'fired' a bridesmaid so to speak. Basically, I told her that it seemed she did not have the time to take part in the wedding (she could never make time for anything, not even meeting my fiance!) and I told her it would be in the best of both our interests if she attended as a guest. Since your issue with this BM is not that she has no time but rather that she seems to be very negative. I would tell her that her negativity has been affecting the other BMs (and you) badly and you'd think it best for the both of you if she attend the wedding as a guest. Be prepared for an argument or a super defensive BM. My 'fired' BM and I don't speak anymore. I could really care less though. But just be prepared for that.

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Wow that is crazy!

Best of luck to you. I have one of those ok actually 2 of those in my BP but i am so non-chalant that I dont even want to deal with it.

If you do 'fire' her please let me know how if turns out

Be as straight forward as possible and go with the facts that you have... the worst thing you can do is exaggerate.
I had a BM that was like that and I called her on it... told exactly what she was doing that was pissing me and the other BMs off. When she turned absolute psycho telling me that I'm a 'spoiled brat that stomps her feet when she doesn't get her way' and that SHE didn't have to deal with MY 'boo hoo poor me bull sh*t' (yes! that's what she said to me), I simply said that I do not want and will not have a person in my life that thinks that negatively about me or my friends... and that it would be best if she wasn't up there with me or in my life... needless to say, she turned 180 and started crying and apologizing when she realized that I wasn't about to tolerate her and her crap... In the end she's still in my BP, but she silent as anything and has nothing but positive things to say and is there when she's needed.
Sometimes BMs want to see how far they can push you or your friends (and who'll crack first to you) - it's sick I know... but it happens...
Like I said, call her out on it - with the facts (try not to get offensive... telling her she's no Paris Hilton) and nothing but that and see what happens... maybe she'll 'pull an April' (as I affectionately call those who stir the pot of poo!)

I have been close 2 times and i'm still not certain - but the two i want out are my sister in law and FH's sister....so it's not like i have options.. :(

I would tell her precisely why you are upset and ask that she either be willing to change or you will find someone else..

Good luck with this - it cannot be easy!

I'm sorry to hear she's acting that way. Being in someone's bridal party is an honor and should signify how much the bride thinks of her girls - and this person obviously doesn't realize that (but like you said, could be the culture).

Regardless of her culture, however, she should know what a 'mean' comment is verses a friendly one. And telling the bride in a sarcastic way that she doesn't like the colors you picked is definitely mean in my eyes - it's a simple matter of rights vs wrong and I don't think this BM knows the difference. My college roommate was the exact same way so I know what you are dealing with.

Reading all of the little horror stories here about BM's makes me glad (for the first time) that my FH only wanted to have a matron of honor (my sister) and a best man (his brother).

Good luck and let us know what happens! I'm sorry you have to deal with this in what should be such a fun time with your closest friends.