how to you keep Positive?

What are some things you do to keep positive?

I admit I have a hard time doing this. I feel like nothing ever works out for me and DH. I feel like we are constantly struggling.
But I've started to wonder if its because I'm being too negative about things.

Re: how to you keep Positive?

no matter how bad things get I know i am fortunate...
i found the love of my life and no matter what life hands us we go through it together
we have a ton of family and friends we can count on...just think back to your wedding and remember all the faces that were there for YOU! because they love you and are happy for you

sure there are things we want but we really have what we need

I think of my 42 yr old friend that told me how depressed she is that she is single with no children; i hope to be able to have a family soon.

I think of people that are out of work and begging for money on the street...yes i am sure we can ALL use more money but we arent in such bad financial hardships that we are on the street.

If im having a bad day at work, i just think i am lucky to have a job!

when i have a cold, or am depressed over some other medical issues i have, i think that it could be worse.

i am an optimist so no matter what i try to remain positive. Everything happens for a reason...

Re: how to you keep Positive?

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Posted by pjc92980

no matter how bad things get I know i am fortunate...
i found the love of my life and no matter what life hands us we go through it together
we have a ton of family and friends we can count on...just think back to your wedding and remember all the faces that were there for YOU! because they love you and are happy for you

sure there are things we want but we really have what we need

I think of my 42 yr old friend that told me how depressed she is that she is single with no children; i hope to be able to have a family soon.

I think of people that are out of work and begging for money on the street...yes i am sure we can ALL use more money but we arent in such bad financial hardships that we are on the street.

If im having a bad day at work, i just think i am lucky to have a job!

when i have a cold, or am depressed over some other medical issues i have, i think that it could be worse.

i am an optimist so no matter what i try to remain positive. Everything happens for a reason...

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These are all great things. Thank you.

I am feeling down. My husband has been trying to get a 'career' for the past 5 years. Yes he has a job, but its not a career. He has continually tried to make his/our life better. He has taken 15 civil service exams and signed up for every possible union during open recruitments. I try to believe that there is a plan for us but rejection after rejections just makes me feel that we will always struggle and never have better than what we have now.

He is waiting to hear from a possible 'career' but my gut feeling is that it won't work out.

Re: how to you keep Positive?

Hey Hun!!! How are you?
This may sound CRAZY and people (my sister, aunts, friends etc) tell me that I am crazy all the time but I use 'the secret' to stay positive. I read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne about 5 years ago because a coworker said it really worked for her, I felt like I was very negative about things at this time, so I gave it a shot!
I am not going to say that I 100% agree with the secret. I am not going to chant out loud with a group of people, but I try to think positive and find the positive in the bad things. Because I believe in the message.

I am a HUGE a believer in the power of positive thinking!

People may roll their eyes when I tell them, but it works for me so I believe. My thought is that Einstein or any successful person didn’t get to where they are by saying I can’t do this, they did it by saying I can.

I relate it to my daily life, diet, work, etc.

Re: how to you keep Positive?

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Posted by JC297
These are all great things. Thank you.

I am feeling down. My husband has been trying to get a 'career' for the past 5 years. Yes he has a job, but its not a career. He has continually tried to make his/our life better. He has taken 15 civil service exams and signed up for every possible union during open recruitments. I try to believe that there is a plan for us but rejection after rejections just makes me feel that we will always struggle and never have better than what we have now.

He is waiting to hear from a possible 'career' but my gut feeling is that it won't work out.

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I def understand feeling down and negative after all the rejections...and DH is in a similar spot...he has a job but not sure if it will really be a career or what he wants to do with his life. I encourage him to keep his options open and look around...and that i will support him no matter what. but right now we are both happy we have paychecks.
when the time is right your husband will end up getting into his career. like i said, i believe everything happens for a reason...so maybe not getting the civil servant positions in the past year or two was a blessing in disguise bc depending on the job and location, manyyyy places are cutting back due to the economy and he could have lost the position he wanted. try to stay positive for him...and come on here to vent...thats what us LIW ladies are here for

good luck with his career search

Re: how to you keep Positive?

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Posted by pjc92980

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Posted by JC297
These are all great things. Thank you.

I am feeling down. My husband has been trying to get a 'career' for the past 5 years. Yes he has a job, but its not a career. He has continually tried to make his/our life better. He has taken 15 civil service exams and signed up for every possible union during open recruitments. I try to believe that there is a plan for us but rejection after rejections just makes me feel that we will always struggle and never have better than what we have now.

He is waiting to hear from a possible 'career' but my gut feeling is that it won't work out.

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I def understand feeling down and negative after all the rejections...and DH is in a similar spot...he has a job but not sure if it will really be a career or what he wants to do with his life. I encourage him to keep his options open and look around...and that i will support him no matter what. but right now we are both happy we have paychecks.
when the time is right your husband will end up getting into his career. like i said, i believe everything happens for a reason...so maybe not getting the civil servant positions in the past year or two was a blessing in disguise bc depending on the job and location, manyyyy places are cutting back due to the economy and he could have lost the position he wanted. try to stay positive for him...and come on here to vent...thats what us LIW ladies are here for

good luck with his career search

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I hope that the right thing does come along. I just know we are getting older and if we ever want to own a house or have children, we need a life changing career to happen. He has been laid off tons 5 times in the the past three years. He has been at his current place of employment for a year and he likes it, but he is making close to 10K less than what he was making prior.
I feel like some people things come so much more easily than for others. I worry that the older we get the less 'attractive' he will be for employers if he is starting out on the bottom of the food chain.

All i can do is continue to hope, but some days like today, it seems impossible.

Re: how to you keep Positive?

That's such a hard situation to be in - I can understand how staying positive can be tough. I recently started reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.... and while it does not have the secrets to success in life, it helps you to re-evaluate what makes you happy. Even identifying little things that cause your life anxiety (not having a 'career' is a biggie!) can help to alleviate the stress you feel overall, and might allow you to approach life's tougher subjects with a little more positivity.

I suppose one recommendation is to try to make as many connections as possible. The more you spend time with friends, potentially meeting their friends and letting your intentions be known about moving into a certain field, you never know who someone might know (friend of a friend of a friend who knows someone), and it could be a step in the right direction.

Re: how to you keep Positive?

Thank you girls! I really appreciate it. We still have rough days ahead. DH is very sad. He told me last night that he believes in his heart that he didnt get the position. He is really at a loss as to where to go next.
The problem he faces, is the type of jobs hes going for, its not a matter of networking, its all civil service and union tests.
Maybe there is another plan for us and a family and successful life isnt a part of it.
I'm just grateful that I have him in my life, at the end of the day its all that matter.

Re: how to you keep Positive?

We are in the same shoes. DH graduated Law school 2 years ago, passed both NJ and NY bars first time and has an MBA and a great GPA in both and still no job. He gets depressed and frustrated and I get stressed out trying to keep up afloat.

DH gets his frustrations out by joining baseball and football teams. We try to go out once a week and try not to think about it.

If I feel really super down, that is the day that I put on a nice dress, actually do my hair and makeup and go to work. The compliments through the day make me feel better.

Re: how to you keep Positive?

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Posted by JandS

We are in the same shoes. DH graduated Law school 2 years ago, passed both NJ and NY bars first time and has an MBA and a great GPA in both and still no job. He gets depressed and frustrated and I get stressed out trying to keep up afloat.

DH gets his frustrations out by joining baseball and football teams. We try to go out once a week and try not to think about it.

If I feel really super down, that is the day that I put on a nice dress, actually do my hair and makeup and go to work. The compliments through the day make me feel better.

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That is really tough, especially since your DH is so educated. My DH never went to college.

The position he was going for didnt require experience, its based off your civil service score and your interview. So it almost feels like if you dont get the position, its because they didnt like you as a person.

Re: how to you keep Positive?

DH was looking for a career for the past 3 years with no luck at all ... one day, i gave him a mock interview and i finally understood why he wasn't getting jobs. he was answering all of my questions horribly! he was going off on tangents and making horrible jokes and not answering questions directly ... uch, it was bad. Anyway, i 'taught' him how to answer professionally and as a result, he was able to find a job which will hopefully turn into a career soon.

is it possibly that your DH is just a bad interviewer too?

as tough as it it, stay positive and supportive ....

everything turns out better in the end ... and if it's not better yet, then it's not the end yet!

Re: how to you keep Positive?

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

DH was looking for a career for the past 3 years with no luck at all ... one day, i gave him a mock interview and i finally understood why he wasn't getting jobs. he was answering all of my questions horribly! he was going off on tangents and making horrible jokes and not answering questions directly ... uch, it was bad. Anyway, i 'taught' him how to answer professionally and as a result, he was able to find a job which will hopefully turn into a career soon.

is it possibly that your DH is just a bad interviewer too?

as tough as it it, stay positive and supportive ....

everything turns out better in the end ... and if it's not better yet, then it's not the end yet!

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I don't think its that, just because he has been laid off so many times and has always found work. But you definitely gave me a good idea and I think I will try it out on him tonight.
I am staying positive with him and I told him no matter what we will be okay, we always are. I told him there is definitely a plan for us, we just havent figured it out yet.

Re: how to you keep Positive?

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Posted by JC297
I told him there is definitely a plan for us, we just havent figured it out yet.

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i def believe in this!

Re: how to you keep Positive?

If it makes you feel any better, you are not alone! I understand what you are going though 100%. DH never went to college and has a job (a very ****** paying job) but no career. I teach but am not tenured so lose my job every summer and have to hope and pray I will get another one. Even with me working we struggle financially. Owning a house and having kids seems impossible right now.

So I feel you're pain! I hope it all works out for you.

Re: how to you keep Positive?

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

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Posted by JC297
I told him there is definitely a plan for us, we just havent figured it out yet.

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i def believe in this!

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I definitely believe in this too!!

And just one more note of hope - I graduated from college as an English major and couldn't find a job, so I took a PT job as a teller, just to make some money. After 6 months, I was able to move into a FT position and from there, I've been able to move up internally and I'm now doing something that I never would've EXPECTED to be doing, but life works in ways that we don't understand sometimes.

I don't know anything about civil service or union jobs, but just know that the next opportunity could be in the most unexpected place. Many for you and DH to get to a better place