It's been a while...but I need your advice!!

Ok...so what do I do?!?! (sorry, this is LONG)

One of my best friends is getting married next summer. I just finished being a bridesmaid three times in the last few weeks, and knew that after the last wedding was done (last weekend), DH and I were going to try to start a family. My friend knows this, and completely understands. I would have never been upset if i had a preg. BM, and offered up maternity dresses for anyone who wanted one. They were all able to pick out whatever dresses they wanted...and it just so happened all 10 of my girls liked the same one.

When she asked us to be in the wedding, she had said (to myself and the two other girls who got married this summer and are also trying to start their families) that we would be able to pick A-line or empire dresses (or anything we wanted), as long as it was a certain color/material. Well, that has now changed to a FORM FITTING dress.

Right away my phone was ringing, by not only the other girls who are planning to get pregnant, but by other girls as well...very worried about the dress. Lets just say that it isn't something I would even feel comfortable in now...You need a BODY for this dress....
There are also extremely different body types in the wedding....

So I was back and forth on whether I should say anything. I decided that before I did, I would go to another shop that had the dress, and ask their seamstress about the dress and alterations etc. (one who was not trying to sell 13 BM dresses) She flat out said that the dress would not look the same if it did need to get altered etc.

I did speak with my friend, and she basically said she didn't care, these were the dresses, and that was it. (That is a whole other story,,,FML), but it is what it is, and fine....what are you going to do?!

The wedding is in June, and the dresses (per manufacturer request) need to be ordered by November. So, what do I do!?!? If I get Preg in December (after the dresses are ordered) I will be almost 7 months walking down the aisle...how would you order that dress?

I don't want to keep pressing the issue. I had my day. I don't want to make it about me (although it is coming from 6 girls....) hey...I may still be trying at that point, and not even pregnant at all....and even in talking to her, I tried to explain that and just let her know that it would be crushing if it came down to it, and I couldn't be in the wedding because of a dress not fitting...you know?!?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN THIS SITUATION?!?!?!?!

Re: It's been a while...but I need your advice!!

Honestly, I think it s*cks that she changed the dress but at the same time it's her wedding. You spoke your peace, she said she didn't care so I would just leave it be. You could be 7 months pregnant by then but you could also be 2 months pregnant by then or not pregnant at all. You can't hold off on someone's wedding just because you MIGHT be pregnant. If you weren't trying what if you MIGHT gain weight just because or lose a lot of weight.

I have a new thing where I don't live by the 'what ifs' anymore. I say, you order the dress, do what your friend wants, and smile that day. If something comes up, bring it to the seamstress and have them worry about it, it's what they get paid for.

Re: It's been a while...but I need your advice!!

I would be honest with her. Id tell her that you are planning on starting a family and you could very well be 7 months pregnant by then and you already spoke to a seamstress and it couldnt be altered. I would say I don't feel comfortable ordering a dress that there is a good chance i won't be able to wear.
I dont know what your financial situation is but I know I personally dont have several hundred dollars to waste on something and not be able to wear it.

I had my own drama with dresses, my sister in law had my nephew about 19 days before my wedding. She didnt get to try on her dress till the day before the wedding and it was a HUGE fingers crossed moment because we didnt know if it would fit.

Re: It's been a while...but I need your advice!!

I guess that is all I can do is just suck it up...

Jess, I did have a long talk with her, and even told her what the seamstress said, and she said she didn't care because we would only end up being in one picture in her album anyway. Then told me my seamstress (who I have used for years) was lying becuase we weren't buying the dresses from her. that kinda rubbed me the wrong way, but whatev's...I guess I will just have to take my chances....

Thanks girls!

Re: It's been a while...but I need your advice!!

this is just difficult all around.
you may be preggers, you may not. we have no way of knowing these things.

if you want to order the dress and be on the safe side, order a couple of sizes larger and have it altered when the time comes.