ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

i know this is stupid but how is it physically possible to have a child and go to work at the same time?

i work 9-6pm (i leave my house at 8am and i return at 7-ish) .... would i put this hypothetical at a day-care? do they HAVE day-cares that go that long?

and what happens during summers or school holidays? what happens to said child then (assuming he/she is in school and not a day care)?

can someone explain to me how people do it? i just don't get it

ps: being a house-wife (or house-husband) is not an option

pps: no, we're not TTC yet

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

I don't know but DH and I have to figure it out real fast

we are planning to get his parents to watch the baby BUTTTT sis in law is also pregnant and due around the same time and i think they want to ask his parents too

I really wish being stay at home was an option as well but not happening unless DH gets a huge raise or we win the lotto. I have considered getting a job in NJ tho since the city commute adds at least 2 and half hours to the day

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

if your both working, day care seems to be the only option, unless you can find a sitter that you really trust to watch your child until you get home.

i have the same hours as you do and i think about the same thing. the only thing i can think of is getting a job closer to home, but in this market

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

This is why we are holding off for a few years

The good thing is that we live close to DH's job

And I am still looking.


The market is picking up a bit, but not enough to feel financially comfy yet!

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

Growing up, my grandmother picked us up from school and watched us during the summer. I could definitely see this happening with us, too. MIL is just looking for an excuse to retire. Otherwise, people pay through the nose for afterschool programs or nannies.

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

Yeah...if we stay in NY, my parents are the only option as the in laws a in MD. And I don't trust MIL anyway......

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

We were talking in the car about this too. I wish one of us could stay at home too (either me or hubby), but for the first few years probably would be better for us to both work. My parents will most likely help out, if not my sister has also offered, as well as his parents, so we have a few options. i just wish that I could stay home the entire time, but not an option :-/

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

so you guys would be going to work normally, and your families would pick up the kid(s) after school and babysit every day for 2-3 hours?

that seems like a lot of work for the families .... i feel like it's a lot to ask of them....

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

so you guys would be going to work normally, and your families would pick up the kid(s) after school and babysit every day for 2-3 hours?

that seems like a lot of work for the families .... i feel like it's a lot to ask of them....

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For us, it would probably be less time since DH is usually home from work at 4 PM. It is a lot to ask, but I don't think that most families look at it that way. My grandmother WANTED to spend time with her grandkids so it wasn't as if she even needed to be asked to do it, it was a given. I hope that one day I'll be able to do that for my grandkids!

Oh and I never even thought of siblings- DH and I each have a brother and a sister who I'm certain would be willing to help out.

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

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Posted by jilliibabii

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

so you guys would be going to work normally, and your families would pick up the kid(s) after school and babysit every day for 2-3 hours?

that seems like a lot of work for the families .... i feel like it's a lot to ask of them....

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For us, it would probably be less time since DH is usually home from work at 4 PM. It is a lot to ask, but I don't think that most families look at it that way. My grandmother WANTED to spend time with her grandkids so it wasn't as if she even needed to be asked to do it, it was a given. I hope that one day I'll be able to do that for my grandkids!

Oh and I never even thought of siblings- DH and I each have a brother and a sister who I'm certain would be willing to help out.

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I agree - especially for my mom and his mom, it's what they want to do and they've already volunteered themselves to do it. Of course, if something happens and they can't because of health reasons or other things going on, we would completely understand and then reevaluate what we're gonna do. We've also talked about possibly one of us staying home, depending on who's in a more stable career at that point and who's making more. But we'd have to be at a point where we feel really comfortable w/ doing that, especially now since we're looking to buy a home.

I agree that I hope one day Godwilling, I'll be able to watch our grandchildren...Ahhh, can't wait!!!

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

so you guys would be going to work normally, and your families would pick up the kid(s) after school and babysit every day for 2-3 hours?

that seems like a lot of work for the families .... i feel like it's a lot to ask of them....

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I've also thought about possibly finding a job where I can work from home once this time comes. Who knows where we'll be at that point.

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

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Posted by jilliibabii

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

so you guys would be going to work normally, and your families would pick up the kid(s) after school and babysit every day for 2-3 hours?

that seems like a lot of work for the families .... i feel like it's a lot to ask of them....

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For us, it would probably be less time since DH is usually home from work at 4 PM. It is a lot to ask, but I don't think that most families look at it that way. My grandmother WANTED to spend time with her grandkids so it wasn't as if she even needed to be asked to do it, it was a given. I hope that one day I'll be able to do that for my grandkids!

Oh and I never even thought of siblings- DH and I each have a brother and a sister who I'm certain would be willing to help out.

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I agree that most grandparents, especially those who are retired want to spend time with the kids as much as possible. FIL & MIL are retired and live 20 mins away while my parents are still working. They are more than willing to help and my parents would too if they didn't live in L.I and still working. DH and I already agreed we would pay them. NOt as much as daycare but somethng so we don't feel like we are taking advantage.

I also forgot to mention that I thought about working 4 days a week instead of 5. Not ideal but at least more time with the baby

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

lol, i think about being retired and having a grand-child and i DREAD babysitting them on a daily basis! i would love to play with them once in a while, but picking them up from school would be like a job to me and i wouldn't want it

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

we were both working when I got pregnant and I planned on staying home for the maternity leave and then taking it from there.
due to the economy, i lost my job while i was pregnant so i am now a stay at home mom.
i would of probably interviewed daycares if i was planning on going back to work, but i dont even want to leave her with my mom while i run to the store so i wouldnt even know how to deal with going back to work.
good luck!

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

My sisters husband works overnights so I used to watch my nieces in the mornings a couple days a week and then they had a sitter who would watch them a few days a week.

Now that they are in school its easier for them - although this year I will be putting my niece on the bus two days a week. They live five minutes from me so my sister will drop her off at my apartment and then I'll drive her back to the bus quick.

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

Well, I plan to try for work after the baby is born. Right now, I do bookkeeping work for my dad and his friend, and it's not much, but we get by and it's not eating a hole in our savings.

My mom doesn't work so she'd watch the baby and we'd pay her something because it would be a heck of a lot cheaper than day care.

My girlfriend just had twins, and she used to work 7-5. She works for her dad, so right now she can work from home a little, but some work needs to be done in the office. She figured out that if she went back to work full time, it would cost $2,400 a MONTH for daycare for TWIN infants. And that's more than her mortgage payment.

You also have to factor if it's worth it; can you make more than what you would pay for child care? Otherwise, what's the point? You're practically using your entire pay for someone else to raise your child and take that bond away.

I would probably speak to a family member or someone you know that can possibly help out, along side day care.

You'd be surprised how people make it work.

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

I think about the same thing! I'm a graphic designer/jewelry maker,. I can definitely do this at home. Finding the freelance work to actually do at home is the tough part! I definitely do not want to work at the office full time. Right now, trying to just save money and play LOTTO! lol

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

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Posted by AugustFeather
play LOTTO! lol

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Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

lol, i think about being retired and having a grand-child and i DREAD babysitting them on a daily basis! i would love to play with them once in a while, but picking them up from school would be like a job to me and i wouldn't want it

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Ahhh you say this now, but.... who knows? Besides, it's way more fun being a grandparent than it is to be a parent. Grandparents don't have to discipline their grandkids, just spoil them. At least, that's how my grandma was.

Re: ok i'm stupid and just don't understand....

DH and I discussed this, and I think when the time comes, either he may stop working and become a SAHD, or I may stay home and babysit 1-2 children from my home. I'm not 100% sure yet, as im not even working right now, but I'm going back to school for veterinary tech, and once I receive my certification I have a job waiting for me.

either way, one of us will be home FT with him/her. Once they're 2, they'll be put in PT day care to learn to socialize and be around other kids.